To be raging that DH puked on the carpet

[Willyswaggingfinger]

He's not drunk.
He's had a bad stomach all day, lots of loud burping and moaning that he feels ill. Although he felt well enough to eat a nandos at 2pm.
At around midnight he goes to the bathroom and I hear him retching. He comes back to bed and carries on with the loud burping.
At half past midnight he vomits twice on the bedroom carpet on the way to the bathroom.
Im raging because my argument is that if you feel sick you keep a bowl next to you. I've known a grown adult vomit on the carpet.
He says I'm disrespectful and unkind to have a go at him because he's ill.

You don't sound very caring - he didn't do it on purpose.

No, it's not nice that he threw up on the carpet. Ideally he would have had a sick bucket bur why you couldn't have taken two moments to get him one says a lot about how you feel about him. When you're unwell, you don't always think straight. Last week I was unwell and didn't make it to the bathroom. My husband helped me to the shower, cleaned the mess up while I was in there and then made me get into bed and bought me tea and water. If you didn't even want to grab him a bowl or bucket, I think you need to take a look at your relationship because it doesn't sound like there's any love there.

Well no. Because when a man 'completely loses it' posters understandably worry about the woman's safety. A 'raging' man is a frightening and potentially very dangerous thing for a woman to face. Throw in the Stats for DV and most people would consider her safety as the pertinent issue. As long as men remain physically bigger and stronger than women, its disingenuous to pretend that the situation can be neatly reversed and look exactly the same.

OP even if it so pull yourself out of it will you're marriage survive and will you be okay with it ending when you are on the other side of it? Your PND has turned you into a monster and I don't think you can see that clearly. For your family's sake the responsible thing I think is to see your doctor and have this handled. If you still can't stand your husband a year or two from now then fell free to blow up your marriage but right now I think you need to consider that you might not be as well as you think you are and you very well may be sabotaging a perfectly good marriage. If you won't do it for yourself do it for your kids. If your husband is as lovely as you say then your kids deserve a chance at having that man in their lives.

I'd be annoyed at the fact he didn't think to get a bowl, but holding in your sick can be dangerous so in this case it's better out than in - carpets can be cleaned. Not everyone can be brought back from aspirating on their own vomit though. I have a phobia of being sick so I have a bowl (washing up bowl I bought specifically for this purpose) under my bed at all times. He wasn't sick on purpose so I think he deserves some sympathy but it's a lesson to him that he needs to take more responsibility for himself when hes unwell.

I've been sick in the car once, it was grim and I was shouted at so much because I hadn't managed to open the window but my whole body had gone numb and tingly before I was sick and I felt like I couldn't move. Obviously that's not quite the same because I couldn't have prepared for it (I didn't feel sick before it happened) but it wasn't nice being made to feel so awful for something I couldn't control.

If I had of heard my partner wretching I would have gotten out of bed and gotten him a bowl. If you don’t feel well going downstairs half asleep is not great - not sure why you would not have offered as you were clearly awake.

This really. I can’t imagine being so angry with an obviously unwell person I love and care about.

If anyone is unwell near me I do get them a bowl and some water too, not because they're a child but because it's just what should be done. I'd appreciate someone doing it if I were unwell too.

He didn't have any further vomits. He got up at 9 and has gone to football so he's fine. I'm going to start cleaning the carpet.

🙄 to then be treating someone like crap after they made said mistake whilst feeling rough is nasty. I actually love my husband and care for him so helping him out isn't a chore. He would do exactly the same for me

If he's well enough to go to football, he's well enough to clean the carpet himself.

Yeah fuck that. Pour some more bicarb on it and leave it until he gets back

I wouldn't get him a bowel that will guarantee vomiting 100%

He's gone to football? He's just going to spread it to anyone and everyone then. Don't agree with that at all.

Only read to here but WTF?! Like you would a small child?

Yeah I'd be more annoyed at this than anything else.

I've got baking powder and some dr beckmann carpet cleaner so hopefully it will work. I'm pretty sure there's also a can of dog vomit odour spray in the garage.
It's a rented house so replacing the carpet isn't an option.
I don't mind cleaning it up, just not at 1am when there's a baby sleeping.

I don't think he's going to leave, he says I'm not myself. He wants to get my friend round so we can talk about everything with her so she can be objective but I don't want to drag her into it. I'm supposed to be meeting a different friend tomorrow who already knows a bit about how I'm feeling so I'll talk to her.

It's no wonder you have no one to help if you enjoy making passive aggressive comments like this to people 😃don't think it's owt to do with your "high standards" good luck with that.

Is this a reverse? You stood and barked orders at him? You sound nasty, OP. Really nasty. I wouldn't clean the carpet for him, but how miserable to be unwell and have someone huffing and "barking" at you for not having a bowl beside the bed. I've been caught by surprise and thrown up on the carpet before, as has DP. I would have been furious at the very least if he'd the absolute gall to "bark orders" at me!

Does he muck in with the kids OP?

Aww good for you. Do you feel better now? The OP is obviously got some stuff going on and you saw fit to write this bullshit?

Well if it’s your natural accent then fair enough. Do you have to write in it too?

My issue is that people who are probably from the Southern States use it on social media all the time and it sounds and reads unnatural. kind of irritating. A bit like the PA ‘it’s not complicated’.

Sorry to hijack the thread OP. Who knew Mn was big in Texas etc?

Yes he does. He doesn't always get it right but he tries. He didn't muck in when DD was first born but I think he was overwhelmed with it all.
He will do bits of cleaning in the house as well. He's generally really good as long as I tell him what needs doing otherwise he won't think to do it.
The sticking points are that he won't cook and nothing comes before football. There is a bit of resentment with that because I had mastitis when DD was 5 weeks and he fucked off to football instead of staying and helping me. BUT that is the only really shitty thing he has done.

He sounds awful lovely. He really needs to step up but realistically, he probably won't. I think you would benefit massively from counselling, you deserve so much more than this.

It's not the only really shitty thing he has done. Not mucking in when your DD was born was really shitty, I bet you were overwhelmed too. Not doing anything unless told to is really shitty. Not cooking is shitty amd putting football above everything is unbelievably shitty. Look after yourself OP, get to the GP and get yourself sorted for you and you kids. You are a strong woman who deserves so much more.

I mean no offence, OP, but my honest opinion is that you sound like a very difficult person to live with and you are quite harsh on your husband. I would be so sad if I was in his situation and my husband did that to me.