To think I’ve made a big mistake at my new job

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

Long story short. I started a new job last week. My first day didn’t go well at all due to horrendous traffic home (car crash on motorway- not involving me) and I couldn’t get my kids in time. I panicked and resigned that evening, feeling that I couldn’t commit to a long commute (30+ miles) and a new job that made me feel a long way from my kids.

The next day management called and were incredibly supportive, saying that they wanted to keep me and would do their best to support me. They wanted me to come up with what support measures they could put in place so that I could remain in the job.

A few days later ( and still having not gone back yet at all since that first day) I emailed to suggest leaving an hour earlier and going from 4 down to 3 days a week. All good ideas. Except that I’ve asked to be kept at the same pay for 4 days as for 3. This was an error, right? I feel like I may have shot myself in the foot and that it comes across as greedy.

The business was shut Thurs and Friday as was in Peak District and heavy snow so I haven’t heard back yet. It doesn’t look good, does it?

I’m in an area of skills shortage, and I know they found it hard to recruit.

Placemarking for the update

If I was your manager I'd be glad I dodged a bullet!

OP, lesson learned to always check the travel before you even apply for a job.

You have nothing to lose by asking, I would probably meet in the middle and ask about WFH. Good luck.

As a manager, my team being able to pick up their children on time is a top priority. I’m in the US and if you do not show up on time at the close of the school day and this happens 2-3 times a month, they will report you to CPS, the equivalent of social services. They will have the police collect the child(ren).

I don’t see an issue with what you have done. You must be able to pick your children up on time. They will take it that your pay will be adjusted accordingly. I know I would. If possible I’d offer you 2 days working from home, increasing to 3 so you could stay full time.

I think you've done the right thing.

You resigned as job unsuited to your needs after all. This is effectively a new negotiation, in which you've stated your terms. Good luck!

Ha I think this is how I feel!

Hmmm doesn't look good. I wouldn't trust you not to leave in the first 3 months if you were my employee. I'd probably accept your resignation and have another look at the other candidates.

just wanted to say I told my boss last year after having a baby I would not be returning full-time. I only want to work 3 days a week and would only return if kept on same salary as I was previously on.

I currently work 3 days a week with same salary as I was on full time and same holiday entitlement. Stranger things have happened 🫠

Eagerly awaiting the next instalment!

This.

I cannot imagine someone just resigning the evenjng of first day like snap.

i wouldn’t want you working with us if I were them. What a flakey unreliable knee jerk person id think you are!

I’d be cringing if I was in your shoes!

Honestly though- It doesn’t sound as if money was ever your issue, the commute is. Dropping a day will only solve that for the day you’ve dropped. You’re still going to find getting home for pick up (if that’s your worry) stressful on the remaining 3 days.

😂😂

No problem with the email.

You decided you don't really want the job- professionally it's not great development and the commute is draining. You let them know before they spent ages training you or handing over your workload- but expressed that if they really make it worth your while you'll give it a go. Up to them now. If they're desperate for the skills they might consider it especially if the advertised salary was low.

Don't worry about it. It's not a mistake as you don't really want the job. It would be a mistake if you were desperate for work. However, if you can easily find something that's a better fit I'd probably look for that for the above reasons. It would save messing the company about further and benefit you more.

Its a bold move OP, I'll give you that.

I suppose you'll just have to see what they say to that. You could follow it up with 'I meant pro rata' or just brazen it out and see what happens. To be really realistic though I think they'll probably just accept the resignation.

Reading this thread's helped me see why so many training & development providers say women need coaching in asking for better pay/conditions!

Self-worth, people. Act with all the confidence of a mediocre man 😏

Could you work from home on the 4th day?

Can you find someone local who would do an emergency pick up for you if needed? Offer to pay a retired neighbour or local teen?

@GarlicGrace It's made me wonder, actually - maybe I should ask for a raise! They worst they can do is say no, right?

There’s nothing wrong with negotiating and thinking about commute but the time to do that is before you accept not after one day. You sound incredibly flaky and unable to cope with basic life tbh- getting stuck in a traffic jam is not a reason to quit your job. I wouldn’t hire you back

Place marking

Really interesting

I don’t understand why people are saying they admire you. I think you have come across as incredibly flakey and unprofessional. If you didn’t like the salary the time to negotiate was before you accepted the job. I do not understand why you are making such a fuss over such a short commute but regardless that was also something you should have thought about beforehand. I would be politely telling you to fuck off and stop wasting my time at this point. I cannot fathom what job or industry could have such a shortage as to tolerate this nonsense from anyone.

Absolutely. Good luck!

As your employer I'd be concerned by a) your flakiness and b)the cf aspect! It would give me a laugh if nothing else and I'd realise I'd made an error in taking you on in the first place. You sound like hard work, OP.

There are multiple issues here, and you sound more confused with every post.

It's not just the money and number of days.

It's the commute & also the role itself, which isn't what you thought it was.

I wouldn't be keeping you on, not necessarily because of the request re pay / hours but your unreliability and flakiness. You need to work out what you do want from a role & be more organised.

Surely you did a dummy run of the commute prior to starting to ensure it fitted with kids etc??? I don't understand the surprise now. And if it involves motorways etc then you're guaranteed regular disruption so I'd get childcare in place at least. Sounds like you took this job on without thinking it through.

Thing is OP, an accident can happen anytime, including on the 3 days you propose now. To me your posts make you sound unreliable and unorganised.