To think I’ve made a big mistake at my new job

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

Long story short. I started a new job last week. My first day didn’t go well at all due to horrendous traffic home (car crash on motorway- not involving me) and I couldn’t get my kids in time. I panicked and resigned that evening, feeling that I couldn’t commit to a long commute (30+ miles) and a new job that made me feel a long way from my kids.

The next day management called and were incredibly supportive, saying that they wanted to keep me and would do their best to support me. They wanted me to come up with what support measures they could put in place so that I could remain in the job.

A few days later ( and still having not gone back yet at all since that first day) I emailed to suggest leaving an hour earlier and going from 4 down to 3 days a week. All good ideas. Except that I’ve asked to be kept at the same pay for 4 days as for 3. This was an error, right? I feel like I may have shot myself in the foot and that it comes across as greedy.

The business was shut Thurs and Friday as was in Peak District and heavy snow so I haven’t heard back yet. It doesn’t look good, does it?

I’m in an area of skills shortage, and I know they found it hard to recruit.

I think the honest truth is that the job is underpaid and the first day wasn’t great (not just due to the traffic) and I know I can find something else (again, skills shortage).

I felt I had nothing to lose really.

If I was them I would be very concerned that you seem to be in the habit of making snap decisions without thinking them through at all.

This. My mouth was hanging open during the first paragraph!

I think OP lives in my neck of the woods. I travel 25 miles and it can easily take 90 minutes in the morning, slightly less on the way back.

OP I think you've been a bit cheeky, but I guess they can only say no!

If it was caused by an accident I'd probs have waited and seen what it was like on a usual day.

So can you support yourself without this job?

They wanted to keep me but asked what would it take. I’ve told them. I guess they can take it or leave it.

What’s your AIBU then? (Genuine question)

Yeh I don't really get this. It's not a "big mistake" if it's not really an issue getting another job.
And if it's take it or leave it and you arent that fussed about it, what's the issue?

Why did you take the job if you have an abundance of choice more locally?

I don’t think you sound very resilient, I don’t think you’ve impressed them to do 75% of the work for 100% of the salary sorry

I think you have been a bit cheeky wage wise but sometimes being cheeky works! You seem to know you can get something else and seeing you resigned financially you must be able to take the hit so I would hold out for a response.

I think the honest truth is that the job is underpaid and the first day wasn’t great (not just due to the traffic) and I know I can find something else (again, skills shortage).

I felt I had nothing to lose really.

So what's with the angst? Why are you asking us if you've made a mistake/come across as greedy?

Even if they said yes, it sounds like you wouldn’t really stick around anyway, or take the absolute piss. Time and resources wasted

Yes, I should have done this.

I’ve been wondering whether my subsequent actions show strength or stupidity and I fear it is actually the latter. The issue I had on my first day was time not money, and I had already negotiated my salary.

I’m not looking forward to the Monday morning phone call. I feel silly.

I think the honest truth is that the job is underpaid and the first day wasn’t great (not just due to the traffic)

Why did you apply in the first place? And what else changed your mind about it?

When you pose it as 'I already resigned and they asked how to keep me', I can see why you thought you had nothing to lose.

Have to admire that, in a way!

Are you a single income household?

Being brutally honest, I can't imagine they'll want you back after the way you've behaved.

You quit on day one then said you wanted to reduce your hours by a third while remaining on the same salary 😳

Yep. They want to hang on because they've spent time hiring you, op and you're fucking them around.

They sound like they've been more than reasonable after you've messed them around resigning on the first day, but sorry I think asking to be paid for four days when only working 3 ( and shorter ones at that ) is cheeky. Not sure what you were thinking of ? When they have been more than accommodating to you, sorry but yes it seems grabby.

Not a single income household, no.

I applied as I thought it would be the right balance of my skills but after a day in the job it was clear that I wouldn’t really be using them and fulfilling what I was qualified to do.

I think you have got muddled.

Were you upset about the commute and missing collecting the kids or the pay? Might have been better to focused on one issue at a time.

If the former then understandable although perhaps it would have looked a bit more sensible to give it a fortnight to see what average traffic is like. But moving to three days and dropping an hour each day to let you leave earlier is a reasonable thing to ask although they can obviously say no and it’s likely the job needs more hours than you are now offering.

The pay just seems random. You agreed and started on a salary. In one day you are effectively asking for a massive pay hike having not in anyway proven yourself to be worth more money and seemingly just on a whim/chance. It’s brave I’ll give you that!

Id tell you to leave it and move on to be honest on the basis of you being unreliable, impulsive and tbh yes, a bit cheeky! It feels like you have put them through the whole hassle of hiring and waiting for you to start only to walk out and try and hold them over a barrel over pay as of course it would be a pain for them to go through recruitment again.

Salary's a negotiation. You've started out strong. I don't know why people are acting so affronted on your employer's behalf, they can counter offer, they're not obliged to accept.

Hope they do, OP. Who dares wins.

@Internationalwomendayheadquarters

You knew that after 1 day?

You're sounding worse and worse.

Either that or this is a windup...I genuinely can't believe that flaky CF like you exist in life

I admire you lady balls. Good for you. Women tend to negotiate salaries less and accept lower pay on the assumption they can prove themselves to be worth more where as men ask for higher pay to start with.

Honestly what did you have to loose if you had already decided it wasn't for you? Good luck, even if you don't get what you asked for they may well meet you some of the way. Please update Monday!

She's started out strong? Utter bollocks. Flaky, unreliable and lacking any resilience or ability to cope with day to day pressures more like

When they query it just brazen it out saying "Of course I meant pro rata"
And see what happens 🤷‍♀️

You are supposed to negotiate the salary BEFORE you sign the contract and start work everyone…!