To think I’ve made a big mistake at my new job

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

Long story short. I started a new job last week. My first day didn’t go well at all due to horrendous traffic home (car crash on motorway- not involving me) and I couldn’t get my kids in time. I panicked and resigned that evening, feeling that I couldn’t commit to a long commute (30+ miles) and a new job that made me feel a long way from my kids.

The next day management called and were incredibly supportive, saying that they wanted to keep me and would do their best to support me. They wanted me to come up with what support measures they could put in place so that I could remain in the job.

A few days later ( and still having not gone back yet at all since that first day) I emailed to suggest leaving an hour earlier and going from 4 down to 3 days a week. All good ideas. Except that I’ve asked to be kept at the same pay for 4 days as for 3. This was an error, right? I feel like I may have shot myself in the foot and that it comes across as greedy.

The business was shut Thurs and Friday as was in Peak District and heavy snow so I haven’t heard back yet. It doesn’t look good, does it?

I’m in an area of skills shortage, and I know they found it hard to recruit.

You agree wages for a certain number of hours when you sign the contract. Not when your first day hasn't gone well and you decide you want shorter working week ! Op is it the kind of job you can wfh ?

You're supposed to negotiate before you start - not when you've resigned after one whole day working there!

Yes I think this is the best you can do now.

Yeah, I’d worry you’d threaten to resign whenever things don’t go your way. Better to cut their losses now. Good luck to you. I know the stress of a long commute. I used to divide it in sections and time myself for each. Or listen to podcasts etc.

I meant strong in her salary ask. The actual situation is a bit mad, but they asked what it would take to keep her so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes, and now they've asked what it would take to keep her. So why not make a big ask and see what happens?

Honestly, this is why women don't get paid enough!

It might pay off. But if I had someone start with me, resign on day 1, ask to chop their hours and still be paid in full I'd think what the actual fuck has just happened. I'd feel that this was not someone who I could rely on at all. Crazy decisions so flippantly. So for me it would be an off you fuck, but it depends how desperate they are for your skills.

They’ve gone through all that effort of hiring you so it will be in their interest to try and keep you. Also they probably have a lot more experience than you think dealing with these kind of requests.

You’ll likely get an email saying they cannot offer that but they can support by XYZ…
Hold tight and try not to stress in the meantime.

Exactly!
The majority of men don’t even hesitate to ask for a pay rise. The employer asked what they could adjust to keep the OP, and OP laid her cards on the table. The worse that they can do is say no. If anything, it’ll open the channels for negotiation.

OP, probably was a cheeky request, but don’t ask don’t get and all that.

I mean, you can ask. And they sound like reasonable people. But if someone working for me quit on day one because they didn’t like the commute they knew about when they accepted the job and had decided the salary they knew about when they accepted the job wasn’t sufficient, then asked to do shorter and fewer days for the same money…I’d think they were taking the piss. Skills shortage or not.

@Truckinghell - of course she can ask, but if someone said to me they wanted to work shorter days, drop a day and keep the same salary I'd be telling them where to go 😬 especially if they'd only been there a day and resigned because they decided a 30 minute commute was too far.

There's negotiation and then there's taking the piss.

Sure, that would be your choice, not everyone would take it so personally and it depends on how bad the skills shortage is. A company I worked for tried to recruit to a role for so long that the right candidate could have asked the MD to fan them and feed them grapes while they sat on a throne and they'd have said yes.

Not 30 minutes. 30 miles. Really bad part of motorway that can take 90 minutes. I resigned that day because I was late getting my kids. It took me over 2 hours to get home.

I’ve got no support network and that first day really highlighted how far away (in terms of time traveled on that bad stretch of roads) that I would be from my DC.

I can see that my negotiation could be seen as taking the piss, though. I do understand that.

😶

Sorry but like PP's if I was them I'd be seriously doubting you.

There's negotiating and then there's taking the piss.

Cross posted with @coffeecupsandwaxmelts :)

I hear you. I don’t think it makes me very likeable, either. Probs not the best start even if they do want me back.

Yes you do need to think what would happen if they were ill and needed collecting from school or nursery if there is no-one else that can do this in an emergency. But then even working 3 days there are going to be occasions this happens.

I’d love to know what sector you work in to be so in demand that you can quit on day one and be invited back!
she who dares wins op!

OP, are you going back to work after being out of work (for childcare, for instance)?

Nothing they can offer you will change the distance you are from your kids if there is an emergency.

How do you feel about that?

Where is your partner? (Although I know this doesn't change the fact that you want to be closer for them)

The job isn’t going to get closer to home, so there’ll always be the commute issue. Maybe less than 90 minutes if you leave an hour earlier and so on. But it doesn’t sound it’s doable whatever the money, if you want to get to your kids quickly. When I was doing my long commute, my DP was able to collect from school in emergencies. Even so, it was still an hour plus to get there. Luckily, nothing needed instant presence.

Yes.

Agree with this. Honestly, it’s not about the money. It’s how far I feel away from the kids. A shame as I really liked the company but I can’t see it working out really.

I laughed so hard at this. You are such a CF but I absolutely admire your brass neck. Really hope it works out. But wow you best be shit hot if you go back 😂

@Internationalwomendayheadquarters but you knew the commute when you interviewed and accepted the job. It's not like it was sprung on you at the last minute.