DH and his big washing day…

[99problemsincludinghavingteenagedaughters]

Family of 5 for context.

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

DH does sometimes have a flurry of excitement that he must take over the washing and prove that it’s not as hard as it looks and insists that he is being very helpful.

Yesterdays flurry came off the back of our tumble dryer not working and quite a back log of washing to get through and a work day at home for him.

Credit where credits due he did get the tumble dryer working and I left for work with with his 1st load on…

Skip 8 hours to me getting back from work and I came back to what can only be described as an old laundry, there were clothes everywhere, on radiators (fine) on back of chairs, up the bannisters, over the top of drawers, and doors we also discovered that DH isn’t particularly good at telling the difference from loads that are dry or damp and had piles of clothes everywhere from the tumble dryer. I bit my tongue though even when DD1 moaned about all her damp Nike socks and DH told her to hang around her bunk bed!!

It came to a head this morning when DH obviously very delighted with his successful washing day (as I couldn’t find a fucking thing and had girls moaning that all their tights were damp and found my makeup bag under a dumped white wash on the floor) asked if I had any dark things as he was putting on another wash before we left for work and I truly lost my shit with him.

Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed.

omg yes, my DH has bursts like this… totally easy to bung washing in and out of the machine - I agree with him.
But making sure the next part - can be successfully carried out has to be thought about before bunging the washing in the machine.
My only 5 words when the washing mania begins… where will you dry it!

Solidarity!

He does it differently to you. That's fine. If you don't want him to do it then keep telling him he's doing it wrong. And tell your dds to put their damp socks and tights in the tumble dryer themselves.

Teenage DDs here too OP, so I feel your pain - although my DH knows that it's better for the washing to be done "my way", than face the carnage when a DD can't find what she needs the very second she needs it!

We don't have a tumble dryer, so I do one load every day and it goes straight on the radiators in the morning, and is dry and ready to be folded and put away by around 10pm. In the summer when I can use the washing line, I sometimes miss a day, but I find doing a load each day to keep on top of things is the only way it works.

I do go to the laundrette when I do bedsheets though, can't be arsed with trying to dry them inside!

aargh
dh is retired
i put a wash on -
so he can put it on the line
and he can bring it in
but 90% of the time it sits in the basket after being brought in, damp, getting creased!

My DH is also rubbish at telling if something is still damp. He now does some washes (nappies and his rugby kit, or anything specific he needs) but leaves the drying to me.

When we bought a new machine a couple of months ago he insisted on getting the biggest drum possible, until I pointed out we would only ever manage 2 loads a week as it would never ever dry.

I'm with you OP. My DH does this too - loads of washing with no thought to where/how it's going to dry and doesn't even bother to do basic things like unroll sleeves when draping damp clothes over any available surface so things can't dry anyway and end up all musty.

I think you must be married to my husband! Shoves several loads in the washing machine and piles it all up wet in laundry baskets with no thought to how it will get dry.

oh yes, the sleeves are not unrolled!
so annoying.

This made me laugh as it's exactly what my DH would do if I left him in charge of washing. He doesn't like using the dryer as his Mum never had one and she managed OK and to be fair neither do I so whilst we have one it is rarely used but I manage it far better than this.

If it was down to him he would take half the stuff out and say it could be worn again, what he did wash would go all over the radiators which are not on and cause condensation every where for days.

YA definitely NBU I would hate this. Luckily he usually leaves me to it. And yes he does other things- I haven't done a food shop for years.

my colleague washes at the weekend and the weekend alone

i feel similar!

If it was piled high in a damp heap after that long, I'd rewash it then tumble. I can't stand the smell of soggy washing.

In fact, I'd probably sort it all, rewash and tumble then fold and put away while he was out at work - he'd be none the wiser.

I raise you rolled up rugby socks with the muddy side turned in. They come out of the wash still muddy inside.

I have 2 Rugby playing DS who must have 3 feet each 🤔 who train and play a combination of 7 times a week so it's every wash.

YANBU
you don't keep putting loads on if you don't have anywhere to dry them. How annoying.

I think the most annoying thing is when they do the washing and act like they have scrubbed everything by hand and dried it with by fanning it .... then leave you to do the hard part of ironing and putting it all away and pairing the 102 socks

DH has difficulty getting things out of the washer ( mental not physical) . He does peg out when told to. Yes it can stay in the basket. Yes it can stay in the airing cupboard. Yes it can even stay in the basket in his room although clean and dry.

there is no sense of process. 😡😶

However, yesterday he took the car down for its MoT and service, and went to collect it ( we only have one car, so it’s a bus ride with a wait) and he has done the insurance, without any input from me. So I guess the washing is fair enough.

At least he tries to dry it, my DH (who does equal share of things around the house and 90% of cooking and food shopping so by no means useless) will do wash after wash and be chuffed to bits that everyone's dirty laundry baskets are empty then seem amazed that in the middle of a British winter we have no chance of drying 8 loads of laundry simultaneously.

It's not just mine then. If I go away for a week, he'll do the washing, hang it up, but not take anything off the rail in the airing cupboard, so there will be two or three loads squashed in there not quite dry!

Ooh, I've come out in hives reading this.

Although this is clearly not a parking thread and therefore no actual mn rules I do feel that a photo of said damp washing and particularly the washing hanging off drawers would serve to better illustrate your DH problem.

I'm constantly trying to ban mine from doing the washing as he always cocks it up. Has destroyed several of the DSs wool jumpers. I don't know why they're obsessed with proving they can do it, when they can't. No matter how many times I tell him that I sort into blacks, whites and coloureds, he still puts striped things in with a load of black, wool jumpers on at 60, stuff that can't be tumble dried on high heat etc. Drives me insane.

Those posters who put their washing on radiators - is there any reason you prefer that to using an airer? We always have had airers in my family - only use a radiator to eg finish off the waistband of a pair of jeans if someone wants them quickly. If you’re using the radiators, doesn’t that mean there’s laundry all over the house? I don’t think I could fit all of one of our washes on all our radiators unless I piled stuff up on top of other things.

I’m not intending to be judgemental or critical, I just can’t quite picture how it would work.

My DH leaves it all to me which I’m perfectly happy with as he’d mess the drying up too - as PPs have said, the tricky part isn’t getting the laundry basket empty and everything washed, it’s getting it all dry afterwards. It’s like a mental game of Tetris in winter, making sure there’s space and time to get everything dry before the next lot. The vast majority of our things either can’t go in the drier or wouldn’t last as long if we used the drier regularly, plus it’s so expensive!

This would drive me demented. Lucky me, I walk out the door calling over my shoulder 'will you stick a wash on', and come home 10 hours later to a light load and a dark load drying over the racks having been on the line most of the day. He'll also fold and put away without being asked. I honestly didn't realise is was so unusual.

"Where will you dry it"

iys a carefully
oiled machine that requires no input thank you. I have a system. Every so often he'll try and be helpful. Spoiler- it's not helpful. Now when I ask if the wash is on it's in an accusatory tone and he jumps in with a huge operational plan how it makes sense. I once left put sheets damp on the floor for a week. He rewashed them and dried them properly the next time. Worst part is it wasn't even a game of nerves for him. He bloody forgot about them and discovered them afresh every time he walked into the utility. "What's the story with these sheets?"
"they're the ones you washed last week"
"oh they're still damp- should we put them back in the dryer"
"sounds like a plan"
and then he disappears into the home office. The assumption being I will now sort out the problem. No sir. Not today.

We're all married to the same man 😱

And then bow down to thank your husband to recognise the hero he is for doing half a job poorly 🙄