DH and his big washing day…

[99problemsincludinghavingteenagedaughters]

Family of 5 for context.

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

DH does sometimes have a flurry of excitement that he must take over the washing and prove that it’s not as hard as it looks and insists that he is being very helpful.

Yesterdays flurry came off the back of our tumble dryer not working and quite a back log of washing to get through and a work day at home for him.

Credit where credits due he did get the tumble dryer working and I left for work with with his 1st load on…

Skip 8 hours to me getting back from work and I came back to what can only be described as an old laundry, there were clothes everywhere, on radiators (fine) on back of chairs, up the bannisters, over the top of drawers, and doors we also discovered that DH isn’t particularly good at telling the difference from loads that are dry or damp and had piles of clothes everywhere from the tumble dryer. I bit my tongue though even when DD1 moaned about all her damp Nike socks and DH told her to hang around her bunk bed!!

It came to a head this morning when DH obviously very delighted with his successful washing day (as I couldn’t find a fucking thing and had girls moaning that all their tights were damp and found my makeup bag under a dumped white wash on the floor) asked if I had any dark things as he was putting on another wash before we left for work and I truly lost my shit with him.

Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed.

Omg! Mine is like this too

Years ago, we didn't have a drier and lived in a 2 bed house

I came home to find the results of his 'helpful' washing frenzy:

• load one. Damp and hanging on airer/ bannister/radiators all over the house. That would have been enough for one day. But....

• load two: Done. On the kitchen floor. Wet. Not

Had time to hang up. It's only been there half an hour he said:

• load three: still In the machine. Cycle finished

🙀

I have an airer....also little ones that hang on the radiator. heavy stuff like jeans and towels go straight in the airing cupboard. Roll on summer LoL LoL (live with two teenage boys so at least 3 loads of washing a week. When stuff is nearly dry finish off on radiator or airing cupboard. . Also the boys room is the warmest so have an airer in there too 🤣🤣

I’d kill him. No pussyfooting around. Either show him your OP or tell him “NEVER do the washing again. You made a complete mess of everything..” Then I’d explain exactly how he made the mess. Point by point. No way would I carry on letting him make a pig’s ear of the washing because he thinks he ‘did a good job’
tbh he sounds a complete knob.

It doesn’t work. That’s the point.

I once worked with a guy who admitted that he deliberately did an extremely shoddy job of loading the dishwasher enough times that he thereafter got a pass not to do it.

Not to get too deep… but for those seemingly hapless, less deliberately conniving men … is it a subconscious ploy… ? Is it a simple lack of attention? Is it a total lack of care?

Bad male folder and bad hanger outer in this house. He also needs a medal! Or a “good boy”. 😩

My DH does every so often he points out how he can get x amounts of loads done in a day so he puts it in the machine but then finds something else to do so 'can I put the correct things in and put it on the correct wash coz he doesn't know what needs what' (it's on the label if I'm not sure I just read this and as he would have to) then it does get washed but again he finds something 'more important' to do and asks why I haven't put the washing out (when it's just finished) then if he does take it off the radiators or out of the drier he NEVER puts it away and that is the most time consuming bit!! He dumps some of his stuff in a pile saying he'll iron it later (I very rarely have opportunity to iron as my two year old wants me constantly and I can't let her stand next to me when I'm ironing so she doesn't get scalded) then later tells me I need to sort out the pile of things to iron (I do do all the ironing when I can but I have the baby with me 24/7 and he doesn't help much with her as he did with our eldest and our youngest is much harder work than our eldest.)

It's a very funny post and utterly relatable 🤣

I do the wash so it finishes in the morning and if I'm in work dh is expected to deal with it. Standard moans are it was a huge wash, couldn't hang it all out on airer so leaves all the small items - underwear and socks in the washing machine.

My ex only did his own washing, never mine or DD, also if I did I load and dried it, he’d only put his pile away!
I guess if he hadn’t done it the daughters tights would still be dirty rather than damp?!?
I do a daily wash, it never builds up

my DH can’t hang up clothes, he does try, but it’s like he just throws it over the line, so it takes ages to dry and ends up smelling. I just go after him and discreetly shake out shirts etc and hang it up so it airs well as it dries. I have a large drying rack for when the weather is not good but the launderette charge £1.00 for 10 minutes so is a good fall back for nearly dried laundry, especially towels. Have thought about getting one of those heated laundry clothes horse things, I think they are quite good, no tumble drier here, too costly to run.

Well, I never knew that, I also envisaged a maiden holding out her arms, have just learnt that’s it’s northern for a clothes horse.

im lucky my husband can do everything bar have a baby thats how he was brought up my kids when old enough did their own washing and ironing. Thankfully only us two now i put washer on twice a week at night as cheaper electric now if that. very rarely use my drier i have an airer upstairs

Feel your pain..... We got a dryer that collects water in a cistern which needs emptying every now and again. The dryer is nicely tucked underneath the stairs - everyone is happy.

Further to the earlier message - maybe the girls could take over some washing?

and no he’s not for sale
That's quite alright.

And I agree with a previous poster, it sounds like the way someone would describe their toddler trying to 'help'.

I'd love to know how much time it takes to do stiff like 'check the drains and clear if necessary, collect garden rubbish, and doing car things' versus the daily grind of housework.

...stuff

Exactly.

Just another example of men getting credit for doing what women do with no notice. Show me the man bragging about his wife because she can work the washing machine and cooks the dinner.

Mine cant hang up clothes. We have 3 clothes horses and every item of clothing will be jammed onto them. Instead of hanging say one t-shirt neatly over the rung he will squeeze in two. They then dont dry for ages and dry full of creases.
He puts the big clothes on the bottom rungs and sock on the top one - it makes no sense.
He will often squeeze in a full load onto one horse while there are two others empty.
He cant tell if clothes are dry, he will come in rubbing a shirt off of his cheek trying to see if is still damp and will ask me if its dry.

TBH I hate when I come home to see he has "hung" out the washing because I have to redo it everytime.

In our house DW does her own clothes because she doesn't like the way that I do laundry (?) and I do everything else. DW works from home all week 09:00-1730 with a break in the morning, and hour for lunch and a break in the afternoon, I am in the office. She still has to do her washing on the weekend when I am trying to do my stuff, DS's stuff, the household towels and bedding......drives me mad!

I’m hoping you’ve mistyped DH and meant to put 4 year old, or you’ve forgotten to mention the fact he has had both arms removed?

It isn’t like he just throws it over the line, that is what he does. He knows he can do a half arsed job and you will sort it out. You aren’t the one outsmarting him by secretly doing the hard work…

I started saying this and then lost the will!

I liked doing ALL the usual household jobs myself as I am very very thorough and ex DH was good but didn't do it my way. He did all the DIY or paid someone to do it. I did most of the gardening together with a regular gardener. No-one believes that I haven't ironed for about 20+ years as every item looks as if I've spent hours doing it. It's to do with never using a tumble dryer which ultimately destroys fabrics (look at the filter) and careful smoothing and folding before putting on a collapsible airer or hangers in the utility room. Even heavy jeans only take between 24/36 hours to dry, less in summer when it's hotter indoors and the courtyard.
I enjoy doing housework especially cleaning windows and doing laundry.

3 of us play rugby here (including me) and I feel your pain.

@Ineke

If you feel you absolutely must rehang clothes, you should only rehang your own.

Let his items end up smelly.
He needs to experience the consequences of his refusal to engage his brain when it comes to housework.

I'd like to say about the allegedly high costs of the tumble dryer:

I just calculated a load cost for a full cycle wash&dry for my Bosch 10kg machine.
One load washed and dried = £1.3 with the new price hikes.

Two loads a week washed and dried = £2.60 cost a week.

Even if one would wash&dry two loads a week every week of the year, that's only £135.00 a year and obviously includes washing too, not just drying.

Yeah, the machines are different, the washing amount for the family is different but I just can't see a reason to not use the dryer for those who have it.
It probably costs under a quid per tumble and is not needed on every wash/all year round.

I do use the dryer twice a week (not on delicates, acrylics, jumpers) and I do think it's a couple of quid well spent to not have the laundry dangling everywhere, growing mould.

I'd cut many other things (and have) before I'd stop using the dryer. Maybe it's just me then... 🤷