DH and his big washing day…

[99problemsincludinghavingteenagedaughters]

Family of 5 for context.

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

DH does sometimes have a flurry of excitement that he must take over the washing and prove that it’s not as hard as it looks and insists that he is being very helpful.

Yesterdays flurry came off the back of our tumble dryer not working and quite a back log of washing to get through and a work day at home for him.

Credit where credits due he did get the tumble dryer working and I left for work with with his 1st load on…

Skip 8 hours to me getting back from work and I came back to what can only be described as an old laundry, there were clothes everywhere, on radiators (fine) on back of chairs, up the bannisters, over the top of drawers, and doors we also discovered that DH isn’t particularly good at telling the difference from loads that are dry or damp and had piles of clothes everywhere from the tumble dryer. I bit my tongue though even when DD1 moaned about all her damp Nike socks and DH told her to hang around her bunk bed!!

It came to a head this morning when DH obviously very delighted with his successful washing day (as I couldn’t find a fucking thing and had girls moaning that all their tights were damp and found my makeup bag under a dumped white wash on the floor) asked if I had any dark things as he was putting on another wash before we left for work and I truly lost my shit with him.

Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed.

I forget to remove tissues myself, so buy the sort that don't break up in the washing machine. They are more expensive than the standard sort, but still cheap. Obviously doesn't help if someone else buys their own.

...and is your dh posting on social media about how crap you were at fixing the dryer?

Some things can't be tumble dried, either because they're delicate or because their lint is flammable.

I use our airing cupboard for those items. They're hung on hangers from the top slats. There's a hot water tank and all the towels to absorb damp and stop them smelling musty.

My partner after a slightly rocky start (leaning tower of pisa style washing basket) is now brilliant at remembering to put a wash on. He is still learning things like "put urgent things on first" though, I don't think the idea of actually sorting laundry rather just ramming the first 3 armfuls into the washing machine had ever occurred to him. I could sort of see the light dawning when I said that maybe the guest bedding (not needed for weeks) could hang on til after we had clean pants again.

THis would make me feel I want to kill this person. Honestly, washing hanging on top of drawers and chairs etc. I wouldnt want to deal with the damaged furniture or the chaos he created.
No wonder you lost it.

As long as it's done correctly it doesn't matter how it's done but leaving piles of damp clothes isn't doing the job.

This is the first time I hear about a British person to starch something. Out of interest what items does he starch?

The table and chairs never recovered from having wet stuff on them - it raised the grain. Wet washing also took a layer of paint off our bannister.

Car insurance and MOT are a yearly thing and definitely DO NOT compare to washing which is done daily in my house, I understand that maybe its done less in yours? But still, more often than a year. The more we allow men to get away with their weaponised incompetence, the more disservice we are doing ourselves

Tell me you've missed the point without telling me...

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

Thank goodness you have one of those magic vaginas that can identify the owner of a t-shirt. Life saving skill.

I used to (still do) wear cotton dresses and skirts and he'd press them and starch them, also some of my shirts and tops and some of my slips. Basically if if thought it looked like it would crease he'd starch and press it. Before we married I lived at home with my parents and mum never starched things. Still does it.

he has done the insurance, without any input from me. So I guess the washing is fair enough.

I signed a permission slip for DS without any input from DH so I can be excused from cooking for a year? It really isn't comparable.

Oh the mess you came back to 😬YANBU. He either learns to do washing properly, or takes over other household duty to show off his skills.

Be all smelly if not dried

I raise you whenever I put a wash on the night before with a timer so I can hang it out after work, engage child lock so he can’t mess with it, DH, concerned by the unfamiliar display, proudly reports how he has “fixed” it by unplugging from the wall.

4 hours in a tumble dryer? Really? How wet do you put stuff in?

My dh can be a bit like this. Feels it's an achievement to have emptied and washed the contents of all the laundry bins but nothing folded, ironed, sorted or out away so just screwed up in laundry baskets. Washing it all is the easy bit. Putting away and sorting is the crappy bit.

4 hours to tumble dry a load???

"Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed."

Grateful? Grateful that he has created more work than he has completed? I would also have lost my shit at him, and sent him off to the local launderette to put everything through a drier at his own expense. I would then stand over him barking instructions on ironing, sorting, folding, redistributing to the correct owner etc. until his "wash" was completed, because right now he DOES think loading the washing machine is all there is to it. He would be disabused of that notion by the time I was through with him! The insulting idea he has that he can "prove that it’s not as hard as it looks" would never raise it's head again.

And I'd prioritise fixing / replacing that tumble dryer.

Does he want mildew?

Because that's how you get mildew.

Argh - I could have written this myself! My DH throws the washing on and then puts it in the dryer and empties into laundry baskets and then goes mad when I assume it’s not been washed.

I always tell him that if he’s going to wash then it needs folding too! He doesn’t put clothes away or iron and everything ends up taking ages and is unbelievably creased 🤦🏻‍♀️

Same for me too, I should apparently be grateful that it makes the job twice as big 🤔

They're hung on hangers from the top slats.

Bloody genius!
I have genuinely never thought of doing this in 30 years of owning an airing cupboard

I do generally tend to recognise myself more in the Incompetent DHwork of these threads rather than the organised laundry fairies. The difference is that if I mess up, it's down to me to sort it, I suppose.

DS (living at home still, but at least doing his own washing) has washed at least three sets of headphones. That comes expensive.

I try not to comment.

My Dh has learnt (after washing all of my hand wash very £££ underwear in the washing machine and then to add even more insult tumble dried them) to do the washing properly 😂

To be fair we split the chores quite evenly, and however sees first we have washing usually puts the load on