DH and his big washing day…

[99problemsincludinghavingteenagedaughters]

Family of 5 for context.

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

DH does sometimes have a flurry of excitement that he must take over the washing and prove that it’s not as hard as it looks and insists that he is being very helpful.

Yesterdays flurry came off the back of our tumble dryer not working and quite a back log of washing to get through and a work day at home for him.

Credit where credits due he did get the tumble dryer working and I left for work with with his 1st load on…

Skip 8 hours to me getting back from work and I came back to what can only be described as an old laundry, there were clothes everywhere, on radiators (fine) on back of chairs, up the bannisters, over the top of drawers, and doors we also discovered that DH isn’t particularly good at telling the difference from loads that are dry or damp and had piles of clothes everywhere from the tumble dryer. I bit my tongue though even when DD1 moaned about all her damp Nike socks and DH told her to hang around her bunk bed!!

It came to a head this morning when DH obviously very delighted with his successful washing day (as I couldn’t find a fucking thing and had girls moaning that all their tights were damp and found my makeup bag under a dumped white wash on the floor) asked if I had any dark things as he was putting on another wash before we left for work and I truly lost my shit with him.

Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed.

XH used to think that the Tooth Fairy did the fucking laundry in our house...

OMG, damp clothes stored in a wardrobe or a drawer can get mould! Even if they don't they will smell awful afterwards

PS to answer OP...YANBU!!

@Deathbyfluffy

welk, there's a third option isn't there!

He does it properly!!

which includes only doing the amount that can be dried!! Drying it, folding then putting another load on.

what he did is the equivalent of emptying the fridge on to the worktop & declaring he's made dinner!!

I would have to kill him 😳
Just the thought of damp laundry all over your house is making me twitch.

My dh, who is an engineer and has to calculate stuff to fractions of a millimetre
Does not understand that layering clothes over a radiator/ back of a chair means none of it dries.
Bunches up clothes on radiators, meaning they are unwearable.
Persistently uses the iron dry setting on the dryer so clothes aren't dry properly and just puts them away.

Looks like men can't tell whether something's fully dry or slightly damp. I thought it was just my husband...

Sounds like strategic incompetence to me

Why would have damp piles of clothes everywhere when you have a tumble dryer?

I think you're just moaning to be honest.

Why would have damp piles of clothes everywhere when you have a tumble dryer?

Because my washing machine can do a load in anywhere between 15 mins to 3 hours, but the tumbler takes 4 hours? So yes, I can wash everything in the house, but have days left to dry it all.

I have a cashmere cardigan that I love (bright red, slightly cropped - only cashmere item I've ever owned, so soft and warm, I adore it). Ex hated it. I caught him putting it on a hot wash, through the tumble-dryer the lot trying to destroy it - but god bless whoever invented cashmere superwash, because that cardigan is still with me. Unlike him.

To say men have it hard and can't win is sometimes eerily accurate on here!

Or, or, I know, hear me out here - he does it properly? If I throw a bucket of water all over the floor and declare that I have washed it, should I also get offended if someone else points out that no, it's actually still all wet and dirty?

Doing laundry means separating, choosing appropriate program and detergent, drying, sorting, folding and putting away. He did one part, messed up another, ignored the rest and we go 'aww poor darling really tried'. He's not 5.

My nearly 17 year old is the same. He does his own laundry, piles it up for ages so it takes 3 loads, leaves it all lying around, tumble dries random bits of it and mixes up the wet and dry stuff and ends up washing it again.

Ahh I thought it was just my husband that can't do laundry, I thought I'd just got a duff one 🤣. My husband will wash the clothes but has no idea what goes in with what (or doesn't go in at all) this goes for both washer and dryer. Whenever he washes anyone else's clothes he ruins a few things just throwing them in the dryer. He will also remove clothes that are clearly still damp and need a another 30min and put them with the dry clothes too, I mean how can he not tell they are damp?? So I have to go through and separate the damp items and put them back in the dryer or worse re wash if I haven't noticed and they've sat there.

As a result of my nagging he does this really annoying thing where after he's taken our daughter swimming he dumps the soaking wet costume and towel on the floor in front of the machine (the wooden floor which will damage), when I say "hey why not put it in the machine and you know switch it on, it doesn't magically find it's way into the machine if you leave it there" to which he replies he didn't know the machine was empty (clearly is) and that I don't trust him to use the washer 🤯. One week I thought I'd see how long the wet towel would stay in situ bear in mind we only have a kitchen no utility room so we are striding over it to move around the kitchen. Nearly the full week. Don't get me started on hanging clothes to dry on a clothes horse, clueless, he thinks clothes will dry screwed up in a ball.

He doesn't annoy me so much these days generally, but why can't he manage to wash clothes like a normal person?!

Oh don’t be so ridiculous! It sounds like absolute chaos…..things getting smelly, lost, tumble dryer going on for one pair of tights, furniture wrecked by having damp clothes on it.

Some men just love trying to prove how their wives are doing the housework wrong and that’s why they’re so exhausted.

😂😂 This made me laugh by how accurate it is for my house!!

I would like to join in. My husband is shit at washing. He puts everything in the tumble dryer afterwards.

Even if it’s wool / cashmere.
Even if it’s a full 10kg load from washing machine (doesn’t split the load to improve drying and reduce creases)
And, EVEN if it’s 30 degrees outside.

After said washing is completed, he leaves it in the washing basket at the top of the stairs. He believes everyone can and should just wear their clothes straight out of the basket. He does not believe in sorting and folding and putting away.

He says “thanks to tumble dryers, washing is easy”. He doesn’t have the time of day for any complaints from me that washing is a slog.

I know it is deeply unpopular here, but everyone over 15 does their own washing in this house. No more moaning that Mother hasn't washed vital clothes on time. Everyone has to take responsibility for thinking whether there is space to dry it before they put them on. They sometimes mess up, but they learn. It works because other than school shirts (which I wash together), most clothes are dark so can be put in a mixed wash. If someone has a half load they might add someone else's. Dh tends to hoard his and do loads in one go, and has a unique hanging style, but I just leave him to get on with it.

Can you give him a bit of direction and tell him not to do too much at once to overload every surface in the house? Or maybe just put out two loads for him to do and ask him not to do anymore?
I hate having too many clothes to dry, everything gets overloaded and too many things on airers means they don’t really dry properly!

Think you married my husband, it's so bloody annoying and I hate clothes hanging off every thing in the house it's also bad for air quality.

OH has always done the laundry, I'm the one who gets it wrong😮.
He used to live on his own so was used to doing the washing and cooking. We didn't have a machine so his early Saturday was a trip to the laundrette and he ironed when he got back (I got a lie in). First time he ironed my things I was surprised that he also starched some of the things.

Sometimes I do a wash overnight and ask dh to deal with it when it's finished while I'm at work. I come home and generally he insists that everything is dry. I can only assume this is his word for damp! He also insists when it's sunny to hang wet washing in front of the windows. Neighbours must think we run a Chinese laundry! If he hangs the washing out he brings in it because his weather app says it's going to rain despite there being blue skies. I do my best to do most of the washing so I can deal with it.

Oh God yes all the bloody time. The hours ot took to roller off the tissue. How I didn't murder him in cold blood I'll never know.

Mine does this too! He will do like 3/4 loads on quick wash and then complain to me that there’s nowhere to dry it (we have a heated airer and one non-heated, dispute his beliefs I can’t pull another one out my bum)

Despite

Lol my DH is similar, he is brilliant with house and children but I do wish he’d leave the bloody washing alone! Complete solidarity 😂