DH and his big washing day…

[99problemsincludinghavingteenagedaughters]

Family of 5 for context.

DH doesn’t often do a wash (unless he needs something specific for work) that’s my department, no moans on this as DH does other stuff and with 3 DD’s has no idea what belongs to who.

DH does sometimes have a flurry of excitement that he must take over the washing and prove that it’s not as hard as it looks and insists that he is being very helpful.

Yesterdays flurry came off the back of our tumble dryer not working and quite a back log of washing to get through and a work day at home for him.

Credit where credits due he did get the tumble dryer working and I left for work with with his 1st load on…

Skip 8 hours to me getting back from work and I came back to what can only be described as an old laundry, there were clothes everywhere, on radiators (fine) on back of chairs, up the bannisters, over the top of drawers, and doors we also discovered that DH isn’t particularly good at telling the difference from loads that are dry or damp and had piles of clothes everywhere from the tumble dryer. I bit my tongue though even when DD1 moaned about all her damp Nike socks and DH told her to hang around her bunk bed!!

It came to a head this morning when DH obviously very delighted with his successful washing day (as I couldn’t find a fucking thing and had girls moaning that all their tights were damp and found my makeup bag under a dumped white wash on the floor) asked if I had any dark things as he was putting on another wash before we left for work and I truly lost my shit with him.

Apparently the way I wash isn’t fast enough his way is much better and I should be grateful.

AIBU to think what he is is doing is not “doing a wash” putting it in the machine and half drying it and leaving it in mixed damp piles all over the house for me to sort is not at all fucking helpful and further more illogical as most of it will end up smelling and need to be rewashed.

He did do it. Just not to OP's liking. It sounds like he had planned to continue today. He can't really help that the clothes don't dry as quick as OP would like. So yes, his method wasn't the more efficient, and he shouldn't be putting away damp clothes.

But the kids didn't have the clothes they needed for school, there were damp piles of washing - so it wasn't all hung out to dry (and frankly, draping things on every surface isn't really drying it - it's inviting it to be knocked off and got dirty again), and part of doing the washing is planning how you can dry it. It's like cooking a roast dinner bit by bit, and then saying 'well I cooked dinner, sure the chicken's stone cold and has been on the side for 3 hours while I did the veg and potatos, but it's done, just not to your liking'

I have low standards, but this isn't doing the washing, this is trying to prove a point, failing, and now I would predict a massive hissy fit about it, so that conveniently he doesn't have to pick up, fold and put away all the clothes that he's draped around the house/left in piles random places.

My husband: “It doesn’t matter if they are damp, they’ll dry out in the drawers” 😒

My dear hubby knows better than to touch my piles of washing lol. He won't even move them when they're on the bed unless it his pile of clothes. He will ask if I want washing putting on and what pile is to go in but if I say not yet need to dry more so there isn't too many wet he will leave it. He's only done it once and regretted it all I did was moan as I was putting stuff back in the washing machine to be rewashed as I couldn't get them all dry in time x

But the kids didn't have the clothes they needed for school, there were damp piles of washing

Presumabl then the kids' clothes were dirty as OP hadn't done them either so they wouldn't have any clothes anyway.

is your idea of the washing being "done" that it is still damp? are you OPs husband?

@Brefugee

Of course the washing is going to be damp.
It has just been in the washing machine.

The washing has been done because there’s nothing more than can be done right now.

He’s washed them and hung them up. Once they’re dry he can put them away.

I have low standards, but this isn't doing the washing, this is trying to prove a point, failing, and now I would predict a massive hissy fit about it, so that conveniently he doesn't have to pick up, fold and put away all the clothes that he's draped around the house/left in piles random places.

^ This. Whilst doing laundry isn't hard, unless you have a dedicated drying room indoors it does take a little organisation. I'm surprised by the number of men on here who seem to be unaware of this, surely they're not so thick in their working life?

Presumabl then the kids' clothes were dirty as OP hadn't done them either so they wouldn't have any clothes anyway.

you are spectacularly keen to defend yourself the OP's DH here. Why is that. Sure, the DCs may not have had clothes if OP had just left the washing.
Or it could have been that since the DH did fix the dryer she would have washed and dried the urgently needed things? maybe the DH could have agitated a brain cell or two and, oh i don't know, ask if anything was urgent?

Jeez, my DSs have managed since they were 12. Before putting on a load of washing, check there is space to dry it (outside/ceiling airer etc). If not and it is urgent then put a small load on with the urgent things and dry where you can/use the tumble dryer (if strictly necessary). DH has finally cottoned on and follows their lead.

I'm out. You all have such low expectations of partners. It's quite depressing.

The equivalent in our house is my DH "mowing the lawn" which means just that, not cleaning and putting away the mower, sweeping up the cuttings etc etc. Which is why after me telling him what "mowing the lawn" actually is, it is my job. and he does other things.

Maybe if the OP's husband had focussed on the socks and other urgent stuff rather than clearing the entire basket the essentials would have dried fine near radiators.

Married to mine for 40 years and I've lost count of the times I've said... 'if you shake out the washing and make sure sleeves and socks aren't rolled up, it will dry better on the line'. He still hasn't heard me. I keep threatening to take a photo of his hung out washing and post it on MN.

Worse than that though is his sorting out method. Whites and colours all in together. Even navy blue, red, yellow... all classed as 'close enough to being white'. He once got home from holiday a day earlier than me, with all the holiday washing in his case. I came home 24 hours later and he said... 'don't worry, I've done ALL the washing'. All my whites and delicates ruined. Imagine white lace underwear thrown into a 90c wash with jeans!

Let him do that for a few weeks and then ask him what he's going to do about the mold.

It has taken me 25 years to train my husband, and he mainly leaves it to me now. His classic is to put 3 loads of towels on back to back not have anywhere to dry them all and then realise there are no clean clothes.

Can I brag here and mention that I have a Unicorn Husband who does a daily load, hangs it out on the line when it's nice, or indoors on the horse when it's pissing down, and when it's dry puts it on the respective bed of whoever it belongs to. They then can take the handful of items each day and put them away themselves.

He can't cook for shit though. He has tried and would be willing to give it a go but he would end up chopping off a finger or burning the arse out of a pan. But since I love cooking and hate laundry, it works for us.

This is giving me flash backs to when I had just had DD1. For reference I was quiet poorly, had a ELCS with some complications the hospital refused to deal with until I ended up back in with spesis. Anyway, MIL was ‘helping’ for some reason I don’t understand she would take washing out of the tumble drier before it was dry and hanging it all over the fucking place to ‘air’. It was like she was trying to make it more difficult then it needed to be.

When we were first married, 50+ years ago, OH would roll his socks and pants together before putting them in the basket so I washed them like that and hung them on the line like that too! Took days to dry and often smelt musty. He also washed the car keys a couple of times which was an expensive error and often laundered money in the breast pocket of a shirt, I remarked on one of these in his mother's hearing, You should always check pockets, I told her I ony checked the children's pockets, I expected an adult to have been brought up better. Lead balloon time.

A very long time ago my now ex husband did similar. I went away for 10 days and when i came back everything he had washed was a vague grey/beige colour. He had boil washed all clothing, all colours and whites together.
Ruined countless clothes, his and the babies. I probably wouldnt have minded so much if it was just one wash load, but no, he spent 10 days washing everything the same way. I mean did he not see after the first or second load that something wasnt right?
Utter moron. He also complained one day about how I'd ironed his top. From that day on I've never ironed another mans clothes.

I have a dryer, but with 7 of us in the house, including two under three, radiators have to be utilised, so we use these - upstairs radiators only though, unless its a large item - I hate seeing washing on radiators!

www.dunelm.com/product/telescopic-radiator-airer-1000202658?defaultSkuId=30767359&branchCode=0335&ds_c=Utility_Indoor+Airers_%5BGOO-LIA-HOMEHYGIENE-INDOORAIRERS%5D&gclid=CjwKCAiA3pugBhAwEiwAWFzwdemjae-uQmtfzSjSUkRDmSepJso2mdFg495IA0SM9_34twQT3L0EKRoCOsEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Hahaha, opposite problem here. I went away for the weekend and returned to DH proudly telling me he had 'done washing'. He's put about 4 pairs of socks, one of DDs fancy dress costumes and a few pairs of pants in our 9kg drum washing machine. Basket is still full.

My ex occasionally tried to do laundry. You would think he was trying to land an aircraft because the pilot was unconscious

I would hate this. Partly because I have a system (and know what days the children have Games) and partly because I’m a bit precious about the laundry. Wrecking nice clothes by washing them on a high heat or putting them in the tumble dryer is no different, financially, to backing a car into a wall. My clothes are not mega fancy but a whole load of them could be a few hundred to replace.

There was a thread (a few years back) where a woman had nice underwear but would hide it because her husband would dig it out and boil wash it. She got a load of people telling her to be grateful because he was “helping”.

My husband doesn’t empty his pockets so all the washing ends up with bits of tissue everywhere

There was a thread (a few years back) where a woman had nice underwear but would hide it because her husband would dig it out and boil wash it

Oh God, I think that might have been me.

This is not a helpful comment and I apologize in advance- but this sort of post reminds me why it is sometimes bliss being a single parent. Just reading this gave me the red mist.

A lot of people now hang washing on stairs,over doors because of the cost of using a dryer. I treated myself to an electric airer last year. DH since retiring does sometimes do a wash or peg out if I'm busy,he puts stuff on different temperatures to me,hangs stuff up differently. We share gardening jobs. He services our car and kids cars on the drive,does quite big repairs with a ramp,I'm certainly not capable of doing them.