To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

[Raffety]

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

But we don't then send them to the people we are talking about do we? Mocking their appearance

Do those women usually then forward the guy their conversations including their mates comments that he's not even handsome and her mate wants to see his teeth; could he send a pic of his teeth??

I think yabu for voting yabu.

Tell him you'll send the teeth pic on receipt his dick pic, with a take measure held alongside so no faking. Tell him no photo shopping, filters, angles etc. You showed your mate his pic and she thinks he looks like he has a small dick and has asked for it.
Say his mate can send his too since he likes to get involved in these things.

*on receipt of his dick pic, with a tape measure held alongside

Oh my. You’re not being unreasonable at all.
block everywhere you can find him. You don’t owe him anything, least of all an explanation.

Ditch him, block him and savour your very lucky escape. That has twat gaslighter written all over it. RUN!!!!!

You are not overreacting.

He obviously knows what his friend is like, why show him your picture? And on top of that, he told you what his friend told him!

Those two men are gossipers, and they will probably end up gossiping everything about you.

If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't even care what his friend's opinion of you was.

This guy isn't worth the hassle, and before you meet him and you get feelings.. run!!

OP you said you've never done the same, have we?? ... not quite but this story reminds me of when my step mum was online dating, she was arranging to meet up with a chap and while speaking on the phone to her I asked what he was like, she said I'll send you a WhatsApp pic screenshot from his dating profile - she only went and sent the picture back to him with the message underneath stating 'this is him I'm going on a date with, bit rounder than I'd normally go for but worth a try, She was mortified but I cried laughing for days about it why does this stuff tickle me? I am so bad! They didn't go on a date in the end.
Your man sounds like a bad egg, no respect from the start with that behaviour, definitely block. Wishing you all the best with your online dating. Better luck next time 🤞🏼

Weird, I wouldn’t go. Most of us show friends pictures of potential dates. But we are polite enough to say they look nice. Not show the text conversations with said potential date.

My DP was very keen. He did drunkenly send me a picture I had sent him ( of my face) in the early stages of talking to me instead of a friend. He did say in the mistaken text to his friend that I received, I can’t mess this up as she is gorgeous. I did ask what and he explained. His friend agreed - or that’s what I got told.

we laugh now about it. I may not have chosen to go in a date if it was socially inappropriate

Ditch him for trying to gain his friends approval, never mind anything else! What the hell has his mates opinion of you got to do with anything? He sounds immature and his mate sounds a right prick. I wouldn’t want to involve myself in his life.

It's clearly put you off him so probably not worth going on a date however personally I might send a message first to explain why.
I don't think it's odd or overstepping boundaries sharing a pic that you have on social media. I'd guess his mate said what's she look like? I also don't think it's unusual or wrong to think someone might be 'catfishing'. It happens. Tbh I think he's crossed boundaries with his friend. I doubt he was expecting him to screenshot and forward. The content would concern me less than the fact that he seems to think this is OK.
I've screenshotted conversations and had them forwarded to me. Sometimes it just feels a bit naughty, sometimes I'm shocked what I recieve. Always I know really it should be happening. He seems oblivious. If he's not that some weird mind game he's playing.
Nah...not for me. Dump

It’s time for a game of narc or thick! Urgh you were definitely right to block. Onwards and upwards x

block and block on all forms of social media and run.

A friend sent me a photo of her date. I thought it a little strange...but ultimately I said "he looked nice" and hoped it went well. Her date will never know I've seen the photo.

Fair enough if he shared but to come back with his friends reply - that's FAR too far.

Yes, block everywhere, but I wouldn’t bother sending him a message of polite explanation as to why you are blocking him. It sounds to me as if he and his friend are just having a laugh together on dating sites.

Another vote for negging. It's so pathetic.

OP, definitely swerve this pillock.

I would tell him how inappropriate this was, not to make contact again and block him from everything you can. Also may be worth checking privacy settings on social media for a few weeks, as he really sounds weird.

Run and don’t look back! x

In a way, it's a good thing these awful men out themselves ahead of time. Saves women a lot of wasted energy. I hope your friend is well recovered (from the cancer. I hope the idiot man never affected her!)

I hope this isn’t upsetting but helps with unpacking what the heck has just happened… One is insulting you to make you feel small. One is humiliating you to make you feel small. Both need to make you feel small for them to feel adequate. Please don’t let it get under your skin by taking it seriously. It’s male bullying. x

Sounds like a mismisogynist, and a weird one at that!
Might be tempted to send him back an equally insulting message, then block him.

Thank goodness he showed you his true colours before you met. Ugh! And if you act ok with this then it’ll only get worse and you’ll feel ‘bad’ calling things out because you were ok with this.

They'll both be porn addled and as a result shite in bed. Forget and look elsewhere, plenty more to choose from, men seem to forget women have the choice ultimately.

He sounds absolutely awful- as if he has no manners or understanding of feelings and social graces. His behaviour is weird. Don't meet him or contact him again and block him on Instagram.

Another vote for Negging.
Definately not over reacting, I’d run for the hills!