Has anyone ever snuck out in the morning

[shade78]

I'm dreading it already, I do everything for everyone in the morning. I even fetch clothes for the children to dress under the covers and run back and forth with a toothbrush while they sit on the sofa. I get nothing but terse crap off my husband and it feels like we are always on the edge of a row. Kids snap back at me when asked to do something basic and can spend 40 mins lying in bed while the clock ticks down and I'm so stressed I can barely hold it in. It is truly awful and I hate it after 5 years we have still not got it together in the morning. I always start with a happy good morning to everyone and I'm just run down after hours of this crap. AIBU to just get up and go to work, I'm sure they would all wake up at 9.30 with an ohh shit moment. Has anyone done this? Thank you I'm desperate.

How old are your kids, if 10 or older then just do it.

How old are they? why are they getting dressed under the covers? Tell them to get out of bed and get dressed ffs.

I would do it.. maybe they'll start to appreciate you more after they all realise how much you've been doing over the years

Hi 10 and 9

You don't need to sneak out, just don't be a mug take them their clothes and run back and first with their toothbrushes🤷‍♀️

They get dressed under the covers and you take their toothbrushea to them?

Getting dressed under the covers and brushing their teeth on the sofa. No way.
Give them a list. Step by step to getting ready for school. They follow it or lose their iPad, TV time, sport, gaming etc. whatever they love. They don’t get it until they shape up!

Surely there is a middle way where you just stop running around after them like an idiot?

How has it got to this stage? Mine are slow AF some mornings. I simply say “I’m not going to tell you again, if you’re late it’s your problem not mine.” Yes I’m a delightful mother. But they need to be able to get themselves sorted. I won’t be there getting them ready for work in 15 years’ time, so they need to learn those skills now.

The toothbrush thing: cut that out right now!

Have a word with them tonight. Tell them that things are going to change and that they will be getting up to get dressed, and brushing their teeth in the bathroom like everyone else. Then, follow that through. I wouldn’t blame you for upping and leaving but it shouldn’t be necessary!

Yeah, hand the whole morning routine to the husband. Bosh.

Gosh they’ve got you well trained! Just…. Don’t. They’ll cope, or learn to.

Will you be doing this when they’re teenagers?

Why are you doing any of those things, running backwards and forwards with a toothbrush, utter madness?

This. Running back and forth with a toothbrush is madness.

I would. Just leave for work early. Text your husband, “your turn to get the kids ready today”. Then start making changes around the children’s morning routine. The shock factor will hopefully do something to push your husband.

Actually I don't believe this is true because it's nuts.

Have fun

YANBU. Lie if that helps, "oh sorry surprise audit, have to do overtime for next 2 weeks, at desk for 8am, could you have dinner on the table too as I'll be back late".

Go to Costa read the paper, work, go to the gym or just chill out in the car for a bit!

Plenty of dads never do a single drop off.

The solution to feeling unappreciated is to stop doing it, go for it.

They get dressed under the covers and you take their toothbrushea to them?

This is surely a wind up post

Mine are older but I put their uniform in their rooms the night before and they get dressed as soon as they've showered. I do need to nag a bit sometimes (DS15 is brilliant, no nagging but DS12 needs quite a bit of a prod). I do have a spare toothbrush and toothpaste downstairs for him but it's in the downstairs bathroom in case he hasn't already done them (which is most days!)

I even fetch clothes for the children to dress under the covers and run back and forth with a toothbrush while they sit on the sofa.

No way

Huh? Get a full time job that means starting early and leaving the house at 7.15am. I did that for years and the kids get themselves up, fed, washed and out. You created a rod for your own back OP.

This cannot be true!!

A 10yo and 9yo needing to dress in bed (so no wash??) and brushing their teeth from the sofa. I mean, how do they spit out the paste at the end?

If this is true, which I highly doubt as it is utterly farcical, tell tour husband and kids things are changing and tell them what you expect. Then leave for work early and leave them to it.

Agree with this.

You don't need to do all that, but you do need to tell them you aren't. It's not fair just to not do it.

At that age I usually knock once on their door to tell them it's up time. I then get me up and they get themselves up. They know the time I leave and they need to be ready by then, and yes, I have driven the car down the drive without one (dh was still home), although they caught up as I turned the car round.

Occasionally I get a "oh bother mum I forgot to say I need..." moment. They know that unless it's quick (or totally essential) then it won't happen in the morning.

Ds is quite capable of doing everything and walking out to the car without his bag (he has ADHD) but that's another story. He normally realises before we leave.

Tonight, while things are calm, tell them that from tomorrow you expect them to get their clothes/bags etc ready the night before. You'll knock on their door at whatever time you're up, and give a final reminder knock when you go downstairs. You will leave at X time whether or not they are ready.

And do it (within reasons obviously). Tell them if they don't leave with you, you will phone the school to tell them exactly why they are late (didn't get up). Can your dh take them to school late if necessary?

How will your kids manage on their first day at work OP? This is learnt behaviour and you taught them.