Has anyone ever snuck out in the morning

[shade78]

I'm dreading it already, I do everything for everyone in the morning. I even fetch clothes for the children to dress under the covers and run back and forth with a toothbrush while they sit on the sofa. I get nothing but terse crap off my husband and it feels like we are always on the edge of a row. Kids snap back at me when asked to do something basic and can spend 40 mins lying in bed while the clock ticks down and I'm so stressed I can barely hold it in. It is truly awful and I hate it after 5 years we have still not got it together in the morning. I always start with a happy good morning to everyone and I'm just run down after hours of this crap. AIBU to just get up and go to work, I'm sure they would all wake up at 9.30 with an ohh shit moment. Has anyone done this? Thank you I'm desperate.

@AlwaysLatte your DC is 15 and you get their uniform ready for them? I’ve heard it all now.

I have an 11yr oldand an older one. I wash clothes and dry. She takes up and puts away and gets her shit ready for school.
Morning: her alarm goes off. I get my own shit together. She comes downstairs, fully dressed, ready to pack her bag, 30 minutes later.

Older one: I barge in and flick the light on, then shout intermittently. Apparently it takes 37 minutes to put trousers on, when you're in high school.

I feel like we're being soft still making packed lunches for them.

Unless they have special needs just don't do it. If they're late for school school will deal with it.

My mum used to squeeze a wet flannel over my head if I didn’t get up when my alarm went off.

Those were the days!

No way would I be doing clothes under the covers etc. Quite apart from anything you’ll raise some horrifically incompetent adults if they get away with this nonsense, as others have said they are not stupid, they will lose all respect for you.

As others have said you need to tell them the new rules, where their clothes etc will be (ideally in their drawers), that you’ll wake them, and then that if they are not downstairs by x time, you’ll either be taking them to school in their pyjamas (with the clothes in a plastic bag) and no breakfast, or you will be asking them to phone the school office themselves with their explanation (maybe give the office a heads up tomorrow morning). This has got to stop.

This is a wind up isn’t it.

we both work FT and have kids aged 7 and 3. Neither get dressed under covers and toothbrushes reside in the loo.

I have horrendous mornings with my dd10 who is autistic. Everything has to be laid out for her and she is beyond slow, probably because she hates school and will do anything to delay it. I loathe mornings.

Are they dressing under the covers because it's cold?

Turn the heating up.

I would just day you need to leave early this week and leave them to it. They will learn quick. Lol

Yes you are being unreasonable because avoidance doesn’t solve anything. It’s probably got you in the situation to start off with.

Time to turn psycho imo.

Keep ahold of the nice happy voice but take no crap.

Morning kids, out of bed please - remove duvet and put at opposite end of room.

Hide the remote at bedtime each evening - TV is only for after they are 100% ready.

Breakfast ready, now or never - after 5 minutes they miss their chance, dry bread in the car for breakfast.

None of it mean or spiteful. Just following through. Happy happy happy, lots of cuddles and kisses.

I thought you were going to say 4&5.

My 9 yr old gets ready himself including a shower, I tell him he has x amount of time, so let’s go!

Time to get firm OP

My DC are 13 & 10 and, ever since they went back to school after lockdown, they have been responsible for getting themselves ready for school. That is getting dressed, getting their breakfast (and putting the dishes in the dishwasher) and getting their stuff sorted. It is up to them whether they pack their bags the night before or not although they usually do so having learned the hard way that it can take longer than expected to sort things out. I allow a few minutes every morning to help out with bits like making the 10yo some porridge or helping organise something unusual that they need to take in but it's largely down to them. The driving force behind it is that it means I can keep up the daily walk habit that I started in lockdown. The only way I could do it once I went back to the office was first thing in the morning so I just don't have time to fuss around after the children

WTF?
Get them one of those alarm clocks each that sound like a fire engine coming through your room to wake them up.
Make them set their clothes out the night before & tell them the routine you expect of them.
My 10 year old gets his uniform out & makes sure his shoes are clean and ready, his school bag is packed etc..
I wake him up and he gets his breakfast ready himself while I get ready, he gets washed and dressed, cleans his teeth and we leave the house together at a certain time.
I would turn off all the WiFi and screens if they are watching stuff.

My 9yo - I wake her up (tbf she could use an alarm but it’s easy enough so I don’t mind this). If she wants porridge I make it otherwise she sorts her own breakfast while I get my lunch ready. We get into my bed and do the Wordle while I drink my tea. Then she goes and brushes her teeth. When she’s done I go for a shower and when I get out she’s dressed. I brush her hair, then she has a bit of screen time while I do my hair and make up. I give her a five minute warning, she gets her water bottle and snack for after school club and does her coat, bag and shoes and we leave. I haven’t set her clothes out for a couple of years now, she can do it all herself including remembering if it’s PE or not! I’m busy enough, can’t be dealing with someone else dawdling as well.

If you’re dh is home then yes I’d just go to work.
we had one that was a nightmare to get out of the house. So we left without him. He had to get a train to school. But he was 14 . A real hassle for him plus he had to pay with his own money, didn’t do it again.

sounds like they’re all taking advantage of you
why are you bringing them their clothes, aren’t the clothes in their rooms.
they are being rude because they don’t respect you because you are running around like a mug.
So yes
Tomorrow
Get up, call them.
Then go to work
Resist all temptation to keep reminding them.
Uniform in bedroom tonight, shoes by the door etc.

Good luck. Would love to know if you go for it.

My older ones get themselves up and out to school, they have to get up really early for the school bus so I don’t even bother getting up with them most mornings as I’m not needed!
I wake my 10yo up and make her breakfast and that’s it - she gets herself ready whilst I shower/dress and knows what time she has to be ready for to leave the house.

im not sure how you’ve managed to get yourself in this situation. Just stop it!

Why are you doing this.

Mine are a similar age and get themselves dressed and the older one does his own breakfast and lunch.

I'd focus your energies on teaching them to be more self sufficient than fantasising about running out the door at dawn

Thank you I’m formulating a better plan, thanks to the advice on here. You are right, it won’t solve the problem but I will say I’m the car leaving at 7.30, you are or you aren’t!

Or one of those that runs round the room screeching

I used to get dressed under the duvet when I was a child - because my parents never put the heating on in the morning because they couldn't afford it and it was freezing! Do you not have the heating on? Not even for an hour while they get dressed and have breakfast?

My DS is 6, he makes his bed and opens his curtains when I switch his light on to wake him up. I make breakfast for everyone then he cleans his own teeth and gets dressed, puts his coat and shoes on and is ready at departure time.

How on earth did you get where you are? What will happen if you just go to work? Will they have a pyjama day and still be waiting for you to get them up when you return?

I actually have a similar routine a lot of mornings😥 But mine are just turned 5 and 7.

I can empathise with the OP, when you're busy and have a full day ahead of you, and the people around you don't want to get up or focus on getting ready, you end up taking on more and more tasks with the intention of making the process smoother, but then you do become relied upon.

And with younger DC, no one is going to turn around and blame a 5 year old for being late for school. So I can imagine you get used to the pressure being on you to make sure kids are on time. I always find it so much easier in the summer, they've naturally so much more get up and go.

OP if I were you, I would have a discussion, they're old enough. Say you will help them by laying things out the evening before, but alarms will be set and it will be up to them to dress etc. If they don't like to get out of the warm covers, hang dressing gowns by their beds, or if you're passing them clothes anyway, lay them out on bedside tables/end of the bed hangers or whatever.

I'm nor a naturally organised person so I do my best to get as much possible ready the night before. Life feels pathetic when your morning comes to a halt because of one misplaced PE plimsol!! So do what you can the night before.

Good lord. Look, this will change when you change it. I'd go so far (for now) as making sure their uniform is clean and in a cupboard, toothbrush in the bathroom, alarm clock set for whatever time and breakfast basics on the table. Everything else, they can do. My five year old can get herself downstairs, get dressed and in a pinch make a sandwich.

I used to get dressed under the duvet when I was a child - because my parents never put the heating on in the morning because they couldn't afford it and it was freezing!

Same here, however my dm didn’t used to pass me my clothes!! I used to put mine on a chair next to my bed so I could stick an arm out to grab them🤣🤣

Also sounds really obvious but what time are they going to bed? If for some reason my DC stay up too late even a bit, it makes a bit difference. 3 year old is asleep by 7:30, 5 year old by 830 and 7 year old by 9 - 930.

This. No wonder they don’t respect you. It’s bizarre.