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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL knowingly took DD out in her pjs

485 replies

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 09:56

DD (2years) normally spends one day of the week with SIL. The night before she had spent at my mums who didn't have any clothes for her to get her dressed in the morning, but knew SIL had some as she checked with her beforehand.

Later in the day, SIL posted a picture of DD in a coffee shop. DD was in her pjs. I asked SIL why she was still in pjs and she said she didn't know she wasn't dressed when she picked her up as she already had her coat on and they went out straight away.

I asked my mum what happened during pick up. She said she apologised for not getting DD dressed in the morning, she didn't have any spare clothes but knew SIL did so thought she would get DD ready before taking her out.

So either my mum is lying or SIL is.

Besides the point, you can tell what a child is wearing underneath their coat. DD's coat goes to just above her thighs. SIL would have been able to see her pj bottoms.

Mentioned this to DH who said he'd speak to SIL, but I don't think he has yet otherwise he would have informed me of the outcome of her conversation.

I've also now made a point of getting DD fully dressed before she goes to SIL. DH normally drops her off first thing, before she's even had breakfast, so she isn't dressed as SIL will dress her before going out (well I thought so anyway).

So AIBU to think that SIL knew DD was in her pjs and took her out anyway?

This happened a week ago, but I can't get it off my mind. I don't know if I should just let it go, but it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt.

OP posts:
Buffs · 06/03/2023 19:20

YABVU

Forgottenpeeves · 06/03/2023 19:21

Didn't mean the kisses ! Just the laughing emojjis. This is such a pointless thing to worry about. Who gives a shit?!

LocationLocationLocomotion · 06/03/2023 19:21

Are you being serious? Are you really going to cause an issue with your sister in law over her accidentally taking your two year old out in pyjamas? Unless she was underdressed and cold why the hell does it matter?

CompletelyConfusedMummy · 06/03/2023 19:22

Massive overreaction on your part. I’d let it go and be grateful that I have family who are happy to spend time with/take care of my child. I’m surprised your husband agreed to speak to his sister about it..not worth falling out over. Yes, I understand your preference of her being dressed before going out, but she’s only 2…people won’t even notice. If you’re that fussy, you should have made sure that there were clothes for her before dropping her off with your mum.

ChampagneLassie · 06/03/2023 19:25

I have no family support. I pay a nanny and I have to get all clothes ready etc you are lucky. I couldn't imagine getting upset about this

1AngelicFruitCake · 06/03/2023 19:29

Your SIL has your 2 year old once a week? Do you work? Do you pay for this? Sounds like you’ve got a lot of help, help that presumably means you don’t have to care for your 2 year old full time!

MrsLighthouse · 06/03/2023 19:36

I was just wondering if you are struggling at all ? As this level of annoyance isn’t really proportionate to the “incident” …honestly l’d have found it funny ! Maybe this is your first baby and you want to get things perfect ? I’m not judging but just want to reassure you that , it does get easier. ( l have 4 kids ) and more relaxed. As long as DD was happy l wouldn’t worry about it.

Lcb123 · 06/03/2023 19:39

YABU and a bit precious. I think you need a bit of perspective. A lot of parent would
love a relative to look after their kid 1 day a week

Moveoverdarlin · 06/03/2023 19:41

If your SIL is having her as a favour to you and saving you 65 quid a day in nursery fees, I would button it to be honest. I would never take my child out in their PJs but I’ve also never had family to help me out, if I had someone to drop my child to without giving them breakfast or getting them dressed, I’d just be really bloody grateful.

Scunnered123 · 06/03/2023 19:43

We have no support other than nursery so I'd consider myself very lucky if I were you.

berksandbeyond · 06/03/2023 19:47

She’s 2 ffs.

also, this is what happens when you’re too tight to pay for proper childcare. Pay peanuts, get monkeys

Jolie12345 · 06/03/2023 19:55

I would knowingly take my 2 yr old child out in Pjs rather than taking them home to get changed…or fight about getting dressed. I can imagine your husband hasn’t brought it up because it would be embarrassing to make a fuss of it?!

Thehonestbadger · 06/03/2023 20:03

Oh my Lord. Has your DD recovered from the emotional trauma? Perhaps you should address with SIL who will be funding her therapy? (Giggles profusely)

I have an almost 3yo and an almost 2yo and honestly can you really tell the difference between their pyjamas and the matching set outfits sold for this age? My husband can’t, he’s taken his own children out in several items of clothing (especially boden with all those jazzy prints) which later turned out to be pj’s. You’ll be pleased to know everyone survived the ordeal.

You sound like a bit of a Pearl clutcher unfortunately. I’d be very grateful you have such plentiful family help.

Thehonestbadger · 06/03/2023 20:04

^
I also used to take my children out in onesies before they were walking…the scandal 😂

GettingItOutThere · 06/03/2023 20:06

pick your battles.

especially with family.

who cares if my child wants to rock out as elsa age 2, or dress up as shrek, or in pjs.
literally no-one cares.

mabey they lied cause they could not be arsed with your mardy response to a kid in pjs?!

notthisagainforest · 06/03/2023 20:08

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 10:33

@Optionschange I was having a really rough day with my 4 month old and toddler. DM took DD1 for the night to ease the burden. She picked her up and left the bag of clothes behind.

Neither of us realised until later that evening. SIL usually has DD1 that day of the week and had some clothes.

Think yourself lucky then and stop moaning about stupid things.

NicLondon1 · 06/03/2023 20:09

I would just find this amusing! Can you not just laugh about it and move on?! When she is older you can look back at the photos and laugh

Laladance · 06/03/2023 20:09

I’m sorry but yabu and I would also add that it is your responsibility to make sure dd has clothes, not your mum or sil

PurpleFlower1983 · 06/03/2023 20:16

YABU

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 06/03/2023 20:20

Clothes for 2 year old aren't always that much different from pyjamas.

Grimbelina · 06/03/2023 20:24

Are you struggling generally? It does sound like you are ruminating about this one event (that you couldn't control?) too much and for too long. I would be exploring further why you feel like this. I certainly wouldn't bring it up with your MIL and SIL as it does sound like they are actually being very supportive.

PrinceHaz · 06/03/2023 20:27

The words ‘knowingly’ and ‘pjs’ juxtaposed are making me laugh for some reason.

Janch13 · 06/03/2023 20:30

Sounds like SIL picked her up, wanted to go straight out & didn’t want to take her back home to dress her. Which is understandable. It really doesn’t matter and if it matters that much to you then you should make sure she’s dressed before pick up (or make sure she has clothes at your mums for her to dress her in!)

Heckythump1 · 06/03/2023 20:32

Wish this was all I had to worry about in life!

Zazazoolly · 06/03/2023 20:33

Your are being utterly ridiculous and unappreciative of your in-laws support

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