Asked to keep it down in a restaurant.

[EmpressOfTheSofa]

Pretty mortified tbh but I don’t think this was right or fair.

We were a family group of 9 on a large table celebrating a birthday. It was a very ‘naice‘ restaurant (£30 main courses type of place) but the music was really loud. We were probably quite noisy but not obnoxiously so, we were laughing at childhood stories. Not swearing or shouting or chucking food or arguing.

In the middle of our main courses a waiter came over and asked us to please keep it down as another table had complained.

It really put a shadow over the whole thing. We go out as a family a few times a year and have NEVER been asked to be quiet or had any kind of complaint so I am fairly confident we weren’t actually arseholes. It was a large table so we weren’t whispering to each other, but equally not yelling. Although the music got really loud as the evening went on so we probably were ‘loud’ but only so we could converse.

I have worked in hospitality for many years and I just wouldn’t have had this conversation as a waiter unless someone was really disturbing other guests. I’d have nodded and smiled at the complainers and given them a free drink.

So, oh wise Mners. YABU you lot were clearly obnoxious arseholes who should have been thrown out. Or YANBU this was an odd thing to tell a large party in a busy and very loud restaurant.

I would have told the waiter we wanted to leave immediately! Just because a person complains, it doesnt mean they are immediately right. The complainers could have simply been a little precious to actually complain! Either way, talk about kill the mood! I would leave an honest review about our parties experience; pre & post naughty step 😆 🤣

I think YABU thinking people can judge this without having been there.

I’m afraid if staff intervene you have been loud & boorish to detriment of others

Oh no, another argument thread. OP, posting on here is just gonna make you feel worse. The waiter and complaining table have probably already forgotten about it...so why shouldn't you?

I think YABU to suggest that on a thread 430 posts deep of opinions

YANBU. Its a restaurant not a library.

I've been to a restaurant where there was a table of 5, so loud my husband and I couldn't hear each other talking,. We asked to move away from them, another couple arrived and did the same. I don't want to hear other people talking loud over my conversation. When we go out as a group, there's usually 10 of us, we asked to be seated tucked away so we won't annoy other people. You don't realise how loud you can be whilst drinking, some people also have a voice that just carries or goes straight through you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Christ! No fooling you eh. It’s a restaurant not a library Killer line. You slayed it

Not long until this thread ends up on the news no doubt...

Agree
esp as @EmpressOfTheSofa got increasingly indignant and unrepentant about their boorish noise

We are always that annoyingly loud table. Have received a face to face rant from some hideous old bag due to the noise we were causing but we were in a pub so I don't know really what she was expecting? My DP is profoundly deaf and finds it hard to control his voice with all the background noise in restaurants. Alcohol doesn't really help matters either. He doesn't go out of his way to be loud he just can't help it. We are currently saving hard for better background noise cancelling hearing aids and are not out terrorising restaurant goers!

It's the facy that you see being asked to take the volume down a notch to mean your arseholes and obnoxious. Nobody said or suggested that. You were simply asked to be a little quieter as it disdirned another table..

But........ Isn't the customer always right? No matter what?
🤔

Let it go. It’s likely you were being louder than you thought and irritating other diners. I am often surprised at how loud other ppl talk even in small groups. I can hear every word. Either ppl have no awareness or me and DH are very soft spoken lol

If others could hear you all over the loud music enough to complain then I'd take a guess that you were being pretty loud. Whether or not it was obnoxiously loud no one who wasn't there can't really say. For a waiter to say something though he was acting upon a customer complaint which is what they're supposed to do in order to deliver good customer service. The other diners complaining wouldn't have been best pleased if he came across as ignoring their complaints. I would say maybe try not to take it as a criticism but rather something to think on for any future family gatherings maybe choose somewhere that better accommodates larger parties of customers in their establishment

See, this is the thing that confuses me, if the music was very loud, how are you meant to be able to talk to each other without raising your voices? Especially if you're a large group sitting around a big table. That said, it's very easy to not realise how loud you are being when you're in a large group, with multiple conversations going on, laughter etc. But, as none of us were there, we really can't give an opinion of you were being too loud or not

Sounds to me like the issue was with the loud music which meant you were all speaking more loudly to make yourselves heard - you were not being overly boisterous, just enjoying yourselves and big groups can be noisy compared to couples! I've been in restaurants with DH where other tables have been a bit rowdy, we tend to have a little moan to each other (noisy buggars) but wouldn't be complaining to a waiter, unless there was something really out of order going on like food being thrown around or over the top swearing. We've all had a couple of shit years with covid and now let's enjoy ourselves like you did at that meal (well until that happened...). Life's too short.

Fun police alive and kicking.

The fact that you reach for the defense of "we weren't chucking food" is an incredibly low bar and strongly suggests that you have very lax standards of decent behavior and what is the normal amount of consideration for others in a shared space. As other PP have said, it generally takes a lot for a waiter to resort to having to tell you to reign it in rather than trying to appease other guests.

This is genuinely hilarious and shows that you have very low comprehension skills or critical thinking abilities.

In fact this whole thread is marvellously entertaining.

conversely you’ve been unrepentant about your boorish restaurant behaviour Tying yourself up in Gordian knots trying to exonerate yourself and Berate the other guests@EmpressOfTheSofa

Boorish and Unrepentant. That might be my new user name.

Amazing.

Absolutely princess

Oh dear. I wonder. There's an expensive restaurant opposite my house. There are some regular customers who leave every week, yelling at each other at 1 am, screeching with raucous laughter that echoes down the otherwise residential street. They are very posh! I have complained (twice), and they've been asked to keep it down. I'm sure they also think they aren't making an unreasonable amount of noise though. They're just talking and laughing- but they are really, really loud!

Talk to them then get to know them. Might enjoy themselves.