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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

548 replies

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:01

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Lwrenagain · 04/03/2023 21:41

What would he say if you told him being called names such as cunt was upsetting?
Would he stop?

Platinumpennies · 04/03/2023 21:43

‘Moaning cunt’. God, he sounds vile.
Would not stay around to be called that. You and your child deserve so much better.

Happyher · 04/03/2023 21:45

Tell him to get up earlier, take himself off for a McDonald’s breakfast, and then come back for his lift to the station

AndTheSurveySays · 04/03/2023 21:46

Do they not sell burgers etc at football grounds anymore?

He sounds horrible. LTB.

CoraPirbright · 04/03/2023 21:49

Why can’t he eat breakfast at home before leaving? Why does the abusive, entitled child-man have to have McDonalds?

No way would I be giving him a lift after that kind of language.

autienotnaughty · 04/03/2023 21:49

I would never claim to have a perfect relationship but if dh was going out for day I would offer lift, he wouldn't ask and no way would he ask me to leave earlier with lo so he can have a mcds. I would tell him to get a taxi.

Do you accept the way he talks to you? Is it normal back and forth between you both? I was in a abusive relationship with my ex and was regularly spoke to me that way. It was awful and humiliating.

SoShallINever · 04/03/2023 21:49

Who the hell speaks to their partner like that?
I would be reassessing our relationship and whether I wanted yo stay in it.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 04/03/2023 21:50

Wtf are you in a relationship with someone who calls you a cunt? Would you be happy for your 5 year old to call their partner that one day? Or be called that by their partner? Because that’s what will happen as this verbal abuse will be normalised to them!

MrsMitford3 · 04/03/2023 21:51

I hope he's a Bournemouth fan

CovertImage · 04/03/2023 21:59

If it isn't unusual that he calls you a cunt I'm surprised that you're still with him TBH

Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:01

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm not giving him a lift. He can call me unreasonable all he likes but he is so ungrateful and doesn't deserve it.
@cocksstrideintheevening That is exactly my thoughts! Didn't know how to phrase it but it's they simple.
@LoveBluey Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:02

@MrsMitford3 Nope, more northern.

OP posts:
Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:03

The reason I stay is as old as time I guess. Children, financial reasons, fear. When you have no one to confide in IRL Mumsnet is very helpful.
Thanks everyone who replied.

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 04/03/2023 22:12

You know your daughter will be aware of his behaviour…

GrazingSheep · 04/03/2023 22:13

Is he her dad?

Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:13

@GrazingSheep Yes.

OP posts:
FatCatt · 04/03/2023 22:14

I don’t think cunt is a serious issue in itself. Some families use the word a lot. It’s the intent behind it and it was said to upset/hurt you which is not okay. I wouldn’t be driving him anywhere.

AgathaMystery · 04/03/2023 22:15

God you poor love. Any hope you can spend tomorrow packing his stuff and dropping it at his parents/on the doorstep?

he sounds absolutely horrible.

NewCarOldCar · 04/03/2023 22:16

Please, please raise you bar higher @reddwarfgeek .

Set a good example for your dc. Please. Otherwise 20 years time you may well be seeing the cycle repeating itself in her life.

susiesuelou · 04/03/2023 22:16

He's vile. If my DH called me that he would be an ex DH. Not even joking. That's fucking disgusting and I'm amazed that anyone has such low standards that they entertain men who speak to them in that way 🤮

McDonalds breakfast is the least of your problems here.

Logicalreasoning · 04/03/2023 22:17

So he can’t get food but can get drink....🤔

Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:17

@AgathaMystery I wish it was that simple.
His DF died quite recently and DM lives in a small retirement flat.

OP posts:
Original poster
reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 22:18

@Logicalreasoning Yes apparently so 🙄

OP posts:
Peachy2005 · 04/03/2023 22:18

Good for you on not giving him a lift OP…however I don’t think it’s acceptable for any DH to call his wife that or use that kind of language around the house so I’d be having a serious think about things if I were you! Even in an argument, that would be absolutely unacceptable in our house…there’s no excuse.

Bunnyfuller · 04/03/2023 22:20

He can fuck off. He needs to get up in time to make himself as substantial a breakfast as he feels he needs, and you rock up todo the lift. If you want to, which after his words I certainly wouldn’t. He sounds like a selfish teenager