AIBU to ask for alternatives to toxic old MN

[FannyBawz]

I’ve been here 15 years and just find it all so nasty and toxic a lot of the time. The witty responses have gradually been replaced by snidey bitchiness much of the time, honestly it’s so depressing. People get jumped on all the time for asking for support.

Thats before we get to the way that womens rights are treated plus the whole sex forum fiasco.

and sorry I am fed up with having dildos waved at me every time I sign on.

Nobody seems to give a shit really at MNHQ and they have a like it or lump it mentality to valid concerns.

I know I don’t have to stay here and So does anybody have any recommendations for other forums? I see a new one called FemVox has been set up and it looks promising.

what else is out there?

😂😂😂 me too

Well I think that any pervy man talking about his sex life or lack of it will be banned.

There are 2 groups of Mumsnet users imo…

1. lovely, helpful ones, normal ones, witty ones, don’t get too offended ones.

2. The ones that think they’re far superior, are menopausal, don’t get jokes, have to be warned ‘it’s lighthearted’, unhappy in their lives ones.

Eh? Nothing I said was nasty. People have been advertising that site on other threads.

It’s true that there’s always been nastiness. And once there was a fair amount of subtle racism as well, which was rather unpleasant. But the actual discussions were interesting, albeit robust. I don’t see many interesting topics now, although Scotsnet and feminism do have them sometimes (I’m not Scottish, though. Sorry, Scots.) I think the posters are here, just drowned out by loud mouthed bullies.

What do you mean by menopausal? Sounds like a negative from what you have said....

There's a lot of judgey cunts on here. I just look on certain threads now.

I agree with the PP about Tattle. I've found them a really supportive and kind group of people.

I quite like Tattle.

It's okay for observers to do that, but if the OP is stressed and upset its harder for them to ignore sniping and aggressive Qs. It would be very difficult not to take it personally.

There are lots of lovely posters on here mixed in with a few hardnuts - a bunch of people who do seem to have a total lack of empathy , a few who are just nasty if anyone dares admit they aren't on the breadline and then the reverse, a bunch who can't understand why they get the odd nasty response when deciding whether to buy the 1.5 million or 2 million house etc. people are people- we all bring our views , personal situation and life experiences to the posts and that's why it is a massively diverse bunch of views . I don't like netmums much as it seems very young and 'you ok hun' - where we are all expected to put up with any old behaviour to keep a bloke and be a cool girl- maybe it was just the threads I read- but that's the vibe I got

Menopause to me is a negative thing. I’m menopausal & if I’m feeling grouchy, I stay off here because I don’t want to come on here telling people to fuck off/odfod type things when people are asking for advice.

Can someone link to FemVox? I can’t find it.

www.femvox.net/

I was on a thread the other day where the OP was trying to ignore one of the aggressive posters, but it was like trying to ignore someone shouting in your face. The poster kept quoting the OP and saying ‘I don’t get it! I don’t get it!’ Then another annoying twat poster joined in and the two of them were doing the ‘but we just don’t understaaaaand’ exchange for a good while.

Really bloody irritating for me, never mind the OP. Ignoring them doesn’t work, sadly.

The peanut app is quite good, although more for baby mums and more international.

I think people have become ruder and more abrasive generally since the pandemic.

Virtually any other online forum is less toxic than MN. The world is your oyster.

Of course it's just an advertisement. I agree.

See comments like that ^ are exactly the source of the problem. It’s just so spiteful and unnecessary.

Why is it spiteful to point out that posters are actively recruiting?

That's fair enough. I was meaning when you are just reading the thread rather than starting it.

I have never had to start a thread where I was feeling vulnerable, but I can imagine it must be difficult to ignore the idiots.

The problem is that when the OPs react, then it makes it worse. If they were able to ignore them then the trolls wouldn't get any traction.

Gosh…was that really necessary 🤷‍♀️

Reddit

It’s the way it is done, @ilovesooty , and you are no fool. You know full well having a ‘conversation’ with another poster about another poster would be extremely spiteful and snide if done in RL.

Had you said ‘I think you’re actively trying to recruit MNetters’ that would be different. I can’t honestly say I care either way, a different website was made over in the Staffroom based around the old TES forums that was linked to on here. I don’t see this as different tbh.

Yes this is the thing, these wee nasty fuckers get an absolute thrill jumping onto threads where the OP is at the end of her tether and clearly on the absolute edge. It's hard not to call them out on it, mostly for the sake of the OP who just needs a bit of a supportive shoulder but instead is met with ridicule and spite.

I don't agree with PP's that it's menopausal women either - the worst examples I've seen are women with a young kid(s) under 5 - apparent life experts who are one sanctimonious bawhair away from perfection.