Page 15 | AIBU to ask for alternatives to toxic old MN

FannyBawz · 2023-03-04T16:38:33+00:00

I’ve been here 15 years and just find it all so nasty and toxic a lot of the time. The witty responses have gradually been replaced by snidey bitchiness much of the time, honestly it’s so depressing. People get jumped on all the time for asking for support. Thats before we get to the way that womens rights are treated plus the whole sex forum fiasco. and sorry I am fed up with having dildos waved at me every time I sign on. Nobody seems to give a shit really at MNHQ and they have a like it or lump it mentality to valid concerns. I know I don’t have to stay here and So does anybody have any recommendations for other forums? I see a new one called FemVox has been set up and it looks promising. what else is out there?

TheEdgeOfTime · 11/03/2023 08:09

xogossipgirlxo · 08/03/2023 13:51

First thought- reddit. I find some very useful info there. If you're looking for some more specific stuff, possibly Quora?

Quora confuses the bejesus out of me and reddit feels like it's just heaving with men.

🤔maybe I'm the problem here

TheEdgeOfTime · 11/03/2023 08:13

Dobby123456 · 05/03/2023 07:59

I always regret starting a thread. People twist what I've said or get sarcy. I get really triggered and lose control of the thread. It seems I'm really triggered by people criticising my parenting, so at least I've figured that out.

I don't have the guts to start a thread either. Comment sure, but I break out into a cold sweat thinking about clicking that start new thread button.

I'm sorry you went through that.

snickerbits · 11/03/2023 08:19

God I wouldn't start a thread in AIBU. It's a madehouse up in here. How manyare real tho.

snickerbits · 11/03/2023 08:22

WomanIsNotADirtyWord · 11/03/2023 07:50

So sorry for what you're going through @daretodenim. I really hope you're able to find sufficient support and get your way out of it soon . Your initial post in this thread so eloquently described precisely what I've been feeling regarding the shift in attitudes on MN and its potential causes.

Love the idea of an ignore button @leftbalance for tidying up threads to exclude obvious troll posts, and potentially reduce their enthusiasm for posting as they find themselves shouting into the void.

I agree @Lentilweaver regarding veiled racism, etc. I keep taking longer and longer breaks from MN because of it (was cheered a little today by the threads concerned about government language). The last time I was on here, an OP described the not unusual situation of her MIL essentially being a narcissist (although I don't believe that term was used) and the fact that her partner was still in the mode of 'desperately sacrificing it all to gain some impossible-to-achieve parental approval', which naturally negatively impacted the OP and their children, as well as the husband. Unfortunately the OP happened to mention that her husband or MIL were from a different ethnic background. The thread started to garner conspiracy theorists telling the OP the husband (who was so hard working he'd started supporting his mother at a young age) was after her money (because fOrUn) and even that he had concocted a plan with his absentee father to that end. Instead of being called out for blatant batshittery, the thread became full of "Oh I agree with NutJob1", "You better listen to NutJob2 to OP" and "NutJob3 is definitely right". It made my stomach churn, I can only imagine how the OP felt.

Yes on the racism and it's only sometimes thinly veild.

You call it out and the middle class i'm-not-a-racists show up. Just wait. I can hear one coming now.

Florissant · 11/03/2023 08:25

Appleypie · 04/03/2023 16:46

My reply has been hidden! Didn't think it was all that controversial! Aren't we allowed to include links to other websites?

No. That's been policy for ages.

Hellopello · 11/03/2023 08:45

@Speaker82
I use reddit otherwise. It's definitely more men though.

Apparently there’s over 47% men on here and I know it says by parents for parents but it’s depressing that so many men just have to seek out a ‘Mums’ website

Yes to the thinly veiled racism

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:06

Reddit 🤢 as an alternative? Why not just drink poision? 🤧

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:24

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:06

Reddit 🤢 as an alternative? Why not just drink poision? 🤧

What's wrong with reddit? Unless you go looking for garbage it's full of awesome people. That's my experience anyway.

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:28

Hellopello · 11/03/2023 08:45

@Speaker82
I use reddit otherwise. It's definitely more men though.

Apparently there’s over 47% men on here and I know it says by parents for parents but it’s depressing that so many men just have to seek out a ‘Mums’ website

Yes to the thinly veiled racism

Are you serious? 47% That seems ... high. How would we know how many men?

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:38

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:24

What's wrong with reddit? Unless you go looking for garbage it's full of awesome people. That's my experience anyway.

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Well for one if this exchange happened on Reddit one of us would be upvoted and another downvoted.

It's not a popularity contestant.

People go and say "unpopular opinion but", and this could just be me but there are tons of sketchy threads whereas MN as a whole has decent values, even if we are a Nest and Best of Vipers 😅

ItsShiela · 11/03/2023 09:45

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:24

What's wrong with reddit? Unless you go looking for garbage it's full of awesome people. That's my experience anyway.

Show quote history

It's a place that is very prejudiced against womens rights and GC people. They stopped people from using the term 'women' in reddit groups about cervical cancer, menopause and various issues. They threw out everyone who says a person with a penis and testicles shouldn't be in female spaces. They ban GC or biological women only groups, and allow biological men with penis and testicles still to infiltrate (what were) womens only groups and state they know what periods and cervical problems are and can empathise as well as sympathise with us women because they are no different from us. Even though they have a prostate, and no ovaries or cervix.

It's a very misogynistic, incel-type anti-feminist place that is deeply hostile to feminists and women.

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:48

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:38

Well for one if this exchange happened on Reddit one of us would be upvoted and another downvoted.

It's not a popularity contestant.

People go and say "unpopular opinion but", and this could just be me but there are tons of sketchy threads whereas MN as a whole has decent values, even if we are a Nest and Best of Vipers 😅

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That's true but the flipside is that it keeps the trash out of view.

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:49

ItsShiela · 11/03/2023 09:45

It's a place that is very prejudiced against womens rights and GC people. They stopped people from using the term 'women' in reddit groups about cervical cancer, menopause and various issues. They threw out everyone who says a person with a penis and testicles shouldn't be in female spaces. They ban GC or biological women only groups, and allow biological men with penis and testicles still to infiltrate (what were) womens only groups and state they know what periods and cervical problems are and can empathise as well as sympathise with us women because they are no different from us. Even though they have a prostate, and no ovaries or cervix.

It's a very misogynistic, incel-type anti-feminist place that is deeply hostile to feminists and women.

Show quote history

Staring at my ceiling is far better for my mental health than Reddit. You couldn't pay me to hang out with those people online ir offline.

Come for cats and stay for empathy, that phrase makes me cringe so much 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:50

ItsShiela · 11/03/2023 09:45

It's a place that is very prejudiced against womens rights and GC people. They stopped people from using the term 'women' in reddit groups about cervical cancer, menopause and various issues. They threw out everyone who says a person with a penis and testicles shouldn't be in female spaces. They ban GC or biological women only groups, and allow biological men with penis and testicles still to infiltrate (what were) womens only groups and state they know what periods and cervical problems are and can empathise as well as sympathise with us women because they are no different from us. Even though they have a prostate, and no ovaries or cervix.

It's a very misogynistic, incel-type anti-feminist place that is deeply hostile to feminists and women.

Show quote history

I honestly haven't experienced this. I tend to hang around the creative writing subs and while I do consider myself GC-adjacent I am not particularly active nor vocal about it.

LucyLeave · 11/03/2023 09:52

There are thousands of different communities on Reddit.I assume some people don't know this.

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:55

LucyLeave · 11/03/2023 09:52

There are thousands of different communities on Reddit.I assume some people don't know this.

I suppose the come for cats and stay for empathy

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:56

What's with cats and empathy?

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:57

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 09:56

What's with cats and empathy?

Lipservice

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 10:00

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:57

Lipservice

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I thnk I'm out of my depth. I don't know what you mean about lip service?

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 10:03

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 10:00

I thnk I'm out of my depth. I don't know what you mean about lip service?

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It doesn't matter. Do what makes you happy. I shouldn't have mentioned the website. If it's been good to you, then great 👍

LucyLeave · 11/03/2023 10:05

I love the cats on Reddit. 🐈

I don't come on MN for empathy. Now that would be foolish.

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 10:07

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 10:03

It doesn't matter. Do what makes you happy. I shouldn't have mentioned the website. If it's been good to you, then great 👍

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All good, I appreciate it.

ronniesmum08 · 11/03/2023 10:08

LucyLeave · 11/03/2023 10:05

I love the cats on Reddit. 🐈

I don't come on MN for empathy. Now that would be foolish.

There is empathy to be found on MN same as there's gold dust in the sewers.

Tiny specks of it and buried in shit.

plantaneswilldo · 11/03/2023 10:12

There has always been a strong anti-redit sentiment here. Home to the incel subreddit that spawned hate and murder.

plantaneswilldo · 11/03/2023 10:13

cassiatwenty · 11/03/2023 09:38

Well for one if this exchange happened on Reddit one of us would be upvoted and another downvoted.

It's not a popularity contestant.

People go and say "unpopular opinion but", and this could just be me but there are tons of sketchy threads whereas MN as a whole has decent values, even if we are a Nest and Best of Vipers 😅

Show quote history

The nest knows best. I'm about due to shed my skin for the new season 🐍