AIBU to ask for alternatives to toxic old MN

[FannyBawz]

I’ve been here 15 years and just find it all so nasty and toxic a lot of the time. The witty responses have gradually been replaced by snidey bitchiness much of the time, honestly it’s so depressing. People get jumped on all the time for asking for support.

Thats before we get to the way that womens rights are treated plus the whole sex forum fiasco.

and sorry I am fed up with having dildos waved at me every time I sign on.

Nobody seems to give a shit really at MNHQ and they have a like it or lump it mentality to valid concerns.

I know I don’t have to stay here and So does anybody have any recommendations for other forums? I see a new one called FemVox has been set up and it looks promising.

what else is out there?

There was a thread like that a few months ago. A man came in asking if women thought that being on MN would make him a better man. I'm pretty sure he regretted that right quick.

Or just a troll. It's so hard to tell sometimes.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4651252-to-think-that-men-should-be-encouraged-to-be-on-mumsnet

I stand corrected it seems to be about 50/50.

Those remarks about The Attagirls site are totally untrue and unfounded.

I don't know where the poster got the information about the live chat, as it doesn't exist. Which just goes to prove they are lying and are just being vindictive.

There has never been and never will be any racist comments as the mods and the members wouldn't stand for it.

Are there different political views - yes.
Are there members who voted differently in Brexit - yes.
Are there differences of opinions - most definitely.

Is there rudeness, name calling, toxicity or racism? Most definitely not.
If it's those things that float your boat, then Attagirls isn't the place for you.

No it isn't. What about all those who come here looking for support because they can't conceive? Or those needing legal or HR advice, are in an abusive relationship and need help to leave, or just come on here for the gardening tips and recipes.
There are loads of people posting on MN who aren't mums.

It's not "for mums" MNHQ have consistently stated that women without children are welcome.

I was going to call you a shill all tongue-in-cheek but then I actually went and looked.

Anyway what I've got left to say is that MN isn't just for mums, it's for women and men, some of whom happen to be parents.

Some of whom happen to be arseholes.

@Cherryblossom1985 it might have morphed into that now, but it definitely wasn't like that when it was first set up!

If you see someone abusing another poster, do you report it? This is not a pre-moderated site, so MNHQ will only see posts if they're reported to them.

And personal abuse is against Talk Guidelines, so any posts like that will be deleted - and the poster may be banned too.

It’s sometimes hard to identify personal abuse.

It’s sometimes wrapped up in ‘caring’ questions. ‘Do you suffer from anxiety?’ ‘Are you autistic?’ (yes, I’ve actually seen that.) ‘are you getting any help to deal with your issues?’

Or it’s an opinion ‘robustly expressed.’

Or it’s repeating what you said back to you but removing the surrounding context.

Or a whole host of other things that mysteriously don’t tick the personal attack box.

and I’ll add to that - if the thread is bad enough MNHQ don’t delete the POSTERS, they delete the THREAD.

Poof, didn’t happen …

@BIWI, I ask this respectfully. Could you please give some examples of the racist comments you've seen on Attagirls?
Mumschat and Attagirls are two completely different sites. I believe Mumschat was managed by an American lady and has closed down.
Attagirls is managed by a U.K. resident.

I can honestly say I have never seen any racist comments on the Attagirls, which is why I've asked for examples.

Well I can't now, as it was a long time ago - and I'm no longer a member!

I was (briefly) a member of both sites. I was there, I saw it and I called it out.

Sorry - you'll just have to believe me.

With lack of evidence, we'll have to agree to disagree BIWI on your allegations of racism.
I would be quite happy for anyone to scroll through the posts on the Attagirls and point out any of these posts you speak of.

From memory, and it was a while ago, there has only been one deleted poster and it wasn't for racism, it was for their unsympathetic views on someone with an illness.

<shrugs>

I know what I saw, and reported.

But very happy to believe it's better now.

Mumschat was full of anti Meghan Markle racist shit.

No idea about Attagirls.

She's not massively popular here either.

I'm not her biggest fan but the hate does get a bit crazy.

As with any forum you get your trolls, attention seekers and chronically offended.

Like @BIWI I've seen some nasty crap on Attagirls. It was a long time ago now but it left an impression on me.

Not that MN is all that much better.

Do people really think MN is in the pocket of the royal family and deletes threads to keep them happy? Really?

@SeulementUneFois

Nom merveilleau, j'aurais aime y avoir pense !

I think some people do, yes. There are a lot of theories floating around on MN and I don't tend to give then much credit.

I'm on a variety for fora, that's the way I like it. If MN was my only social media outlet I'd probably become indoctrinated and bitter about it.

It's not usually the men on MN that annoy me, it's [some of] the women.

The men here are pretty predicable but some of the women have two faces with a forked tongue in each. I've wearied of it. Yeah I know nobody is forcing me to be here but I can't be alone with this sentiment.

I ignore the MM threads because I know they will be full of "I'm not racist but" posts.
@blimeydarl I agree. I hate seeing women tear each other down.

I'll give femvox a try it seems to be gaining some traction.

Stay, go. Whatever. Every other week there's a new-old thread whining that they "are afraid to post" and "MN is toxic".

I enjoy the argy-bargy. If you can't take the heat ...

I remember this as well. He came in expected to be applauded for his good-guy attitude.

I haven't forgotten the way MNHQ treated us over the last month. I left a bad taste in my mouth.

I read on tattle a lot but can't get a code. I find netmums a bit too twee for my likings. Reddit seems to be my main haunt these days.