AIBU to ask for alternatives to toxic old MN

[FannyBawz]

I’ve been here 15 years and just find it all so nasty and toxic a lot of the time. The witty responses have gradually been replaced by snidey bitchiness much of the time, honestly it’s so depressing. People get jumped on all the time for asking for support.

Thats before we get to the way that womens rights are treated plus the whole sex forum fiasco.

and sorry I am fed up with having dildos waved at me every time I sign on.

Nobody seems to give a shit really at MNHQ and they have a like it or lump it mentality to valid concerns.

I know I don’t have to stay here and So does anybody have any recommendations for other forums? I see a new one called FemVox has been set up and it looks promising.

what else is out there?

Thanks OP femvox looks neat.

As far as your question goes, there are lots of options out there. Reddit would be my number 1 rec cause theres something for everyone there or if you're looking for something geared towards mums then babycentre or nutmums is worth a look too.

I know the haters call them nethuns but to each their own.

You're not alone. When I think too much about what went on with the sex topic - even if the vibrator stuff didn't really bother me - I get pretty het up.

Felt kinda like I was used for research purposes.

I didn't mind the sex topic but I do agree that MN is probably one of the less pleasant places to come for genuine help.
Well and as far as voyeuristic value goes it can't be beaten.

Sorry but what happened with the sex topic exactly?

I DID mind the sex topic being shoved in my face and that the complaints were politely nodded at for so long.

Agree about the voyeurism. I don't think I'm entirely proud of it but it is what it is.

Oh where to begin.....

MNHQ decided that the sex forum would be right at home in active topics and served up all kinds of delights from anal sex talk to requests for dirty DMs.

What shocked me was that so many women thought it was just fine.

Here's their explanation. Take it or leave it I suppose.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4753533-the-sex-topic-an-update-on-moderation

It got brought into active and gasps resounded as pearls were clutched. A mumsnet-lite was formed for the flouncers.
Then life went on.

That's a very shallow representation of what actually happened.

Am I a pearl clutcher because I don't want to be sold dildos and read about rimming on a daily basis or ever for that matter? Do I want to be referred to as a vulva-owner or have it suggested that I need to get back into the bedroom after having a baby.

I haven't joined femvox or "mumsnet lite" as you so blithely refer to it but I am all for supporting women and more spaces for them.

What do you stand for, exactly?

... and then we all discovered that over on the sex board, there was a long-running sex chat thread, where people (a significant number of them men) were looking for hook-ups.

You can call me a pearl-clutcher if you like, but men and women touting for sex on a parenting site is definitely NITS.

(That thread is deleted now, thankfully)

Definitely NITS. I used to wonder why men were chased off MN but now I think that they don't really belong here. Which is probably another AIBU in itself.

The thing I dont understand is that the powers that be (mumsnet towers) are very quick to stop abuse of celebs or royals (which IMO are "out there gaining money from celebrity status so must expect some people not to like them) but let abuse to mumsnet posters continue regardless. Is it because there is a lesser risk of members sueing them?

Is there any risk of members suing them? Has that ever happened? It's probably buried in the terms and conditions somewhere that they are not responsible blah blah. The usual boilerplate.

The Attagirls web site!

Ah yes. Home to the racists who started Mum.Chat

Not true.

I quickly had a look there and the idea of live chat kind of makes my skin crawl. No thanks!

What live chat? 🙄

I'm still not over the sex topic being in active either. It was a huge mistake on MNHQs part to ever have tried it.

What little trust I had in them was blown away like a fart in a storm.

There is a general tone of spite. I feel that a lot of people who reply are very well off and dont understand problems that many have, making undue criticism or ridiculous suggestions that wouldn't be achievable for the average Jo.

I do think there is a large group of women on here that will automatically slay the woman over a man regardless, which often doesn't seem very nice or fair.

It's not as supportive or fun a place as it was at all.

I would rather less men on here too. Its for mums.

I don't remember a time when "supportive and fun" was the main tone as I came along - in great shame - from a Daily Mail article. It's always been the nest of vipers I heard about to me.

Try the place mentioned in the OP. I'm lurking at the moment but it looks promising.

Having said that, there is no place online that can keep men out. I don't know if that would even be legal? What they can do is discourage them, though. And that sex chat thread did anything but that.

It's irritating isn't it? I have so many threads open and bookmarked and itching to reply!

Oh my kingdom for a tattle code!
I think its hard to find alternatives to MN because if you like the size and pace then you'll be disappointed anywhere else.

Good question. Is it legal? Could be bad for business if the usual squeaky wheels make trouble.

Ha fellow DM walk of shamer checking in 😆

Yes, spite! That's exactly what it is. Some (NASALT) sections are much worse for it than others.
What do people get out of it? Its pathetic.

Five minutes after you start a thread like that all the cool girls will be out in force.

At the risk of being called a shill I'll go out on a limb and say that femvox has some really great women there. It's not going to be for everybody but if you like a lighter mood then by all means see if it's your cup of tea.

Like several PP, I too would do unseemly things for a tattle code.