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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours sex life

225 replies

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:01

AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?! They are not overly loud but the construction of the houses means there's little soundproofing. I'm embarrassed that I can hear them but I'm just in bed trying to sleep, I'm sure they'd be embarrassed if they knew I could clearly hear them, but what can I do?! I can't exactly tell than can I?

OP posts:
WithSympathies · 05/03/2023 00:25

PerfectYear321 · 04/03/2023 00:16

I would just knock on the wall

Why not go one step further? Knock THROUGH the wall. That'll show 'em.

DonnaBanana · 05/03/2023 00:27

One alternative approach would be to order flowers to their house with the name of the fella on it and a written note that says something like “Thinking of our special night, Katie x x x” or some other name. It’ll stop them having sex for a bit at least

MsJD · 05/03/2023 00:36

Ask to join in?

girlfriend44 · 05/03/2023 00:37

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 23:29

Enjoying sex doesn’t make you an exhibitionist 😂

Show quote history

Exactly.

girlfriend44 · 05/03/2023 00:38

MsJD · 05/03/2023 00:36

Ask to join in?

😂

PerfectYear321 · 05/03/2023 01:15

My neighbour did this night after night when she got a new boyfriend. It was her panting and screaming. I had teen boys and it was fucking embarrassing. So yes I said something. They didn't do it again.

TomeTome · 05/03/2023 01:21

Just turn some music on loudly every time.

XenoBitch · 05/03/2023 01:25

YABU

You said so yourself that they are not overly loud, and that the layout/soundproofing of your dwellings are to blame. If that is truly the case, then you would also hear a whole lot of other noise from them anyway.

PerfectYear321 · 05/03/2023 01:29

PerfectYear321 · 05/03/2023 01:15

My neighbour did this night after night when she got a new boyfriend. It was her panting and screaming. I had teen boys and it was fucking embarrassing. So yes I said something. They didn't do it again.

He was silent and she was acting like she was in a porno. Several times. It was really annoying knowing my kids were being exposed to this

Lavender14 · 05/03/2023 01:31

I wouldn't do anything. If they aren't being over the top loud, doesn't go on for hours and as you say the walls are very thin then I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, it comes with the territory of older terraced houses and they've a right to enjoy their home as well. If you think they're genuine enough and would be embarrassed if you spoke to them then I'd let it go. To me that's a normal part of life and they shouldn't need to feel like they need to be sneaky or quiet about it in their own home. When my neighbours do this I just get some earplugs or play background music.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 05/03/2023 01:37

TomeTome · 05/03/2023 01:21

Just turn some music on loudly every time.

It's the noisy sexters who should be turning on music.

TomeTome · 05/03/2023 01:42

Surely it demonstrates how the sound is travel without either of you having to admit to anything

Wingedharpy · 05/03/2023 01:51

You can't turn loud music on at 4am in a terraced house FFS.
What about the innocent neighbours on the other side of you that are quietly sleeping while shagging neighbours are screeching, moaning and loudly announcing their imminent orgasm - again - for the 5th time tonight?

LuckyThatMyBreastsAreSmallAndHumble · 05/03/2023 08:04

Bang on the wall?

LuckyThatMyBreastsAreSmallAndHumble · 05/03/2023 08:06

Murdoch1949
You either tell them, move your bedroom or ignore it. You don't seem willing to choose any option, so why ask for ideas?

You weren't blessed with empathy were you 🤣 And besides I didn't ask for ideas.

@Fudgemaker why have you posted then?

WisherWood · 05/03/2023 12:54

I come into my house, wifi connects automatically & I just MN or whatever.I never see a list of neighbours wifis.

Sometimes my wifi crashes. When I click on my wifi icon to see what's going on, a list of available wifi pops up. Likewise, if a friend is round and wants to logon to my wifi, they see a list and can search for mine.

helpplease01 · 05/03/2023 17:42

I wouldn't say anything.
It won't last long.

QueenieMac · 05/03/2023 17:47

I told my neighbour we could hear her having sex. She did not give a shit and carried on with even more gusto. We moved.

Mylifesadrama · 05/03/2023 17:56

Try playing Barry White everytime, I’m sure they’d get the hint then, and maybe half a laugh to boot!

Mummabear89 · 05/03/2023 17:59

Our neighbour who is absolutely lovely and buys our DC easter eggs and Christmas presents every single year once passed comment to my DH about his cough that he had for a few weeks and ever since then I've been more reserved and quiet when being intimate. Maybe you could say something similar.

pixie5121 · 05/03/2023 18:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparrow301 · 05/03/2023 18:22

Install soundproofing on the wall.

AnnieSnap · 05/03/2023 18:36

Oh FFS (no pun intended), your neighbours are just enjoying their relationship and each other. What do you want them to do, avoid having sex in their bedroom? You live in a house with a party wall. If you are so bothered by hearing a couple enjoying sex at a normal level, then move your bedroom around (as for “why should I”? It’s your problem, not theirs) or move to a detached house. It’s not like listening to blazing rows or distressed kids. Get over yourself!

Charmian1957 · 05/03/2023 18:40

I agree with other people's suggestions. The only other thought have some music ot TV on in your bedroom that would help against the noise & give you something else to listen too. Also it would alert your neighbours to noise travelling.

AnnieSnap · 05/03/2023 18:40

Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:10

My original concern was that they don't realise that could be heard and that they'd be embarrassed if they knew, the loudness isn't an issue or a reason to move bedrooms or furniture. I was in fact thinking of THEM!!

No you weren’t. You asked “AIBU not wanting to hear my neighbours having sex”? 🙄

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