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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours sex life

225 replies

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:01

AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?! They are not overly loud but the construction of the houses means there's little soundproofing. I'm embarrassed that I can hear them but I'm just in bed trying to sleep, I'm sure they'd be embarrassed if they knew I could clearly hear them, but what can I do?! I can't exactly tell than can I?

OP posts:
Angela59 · 04/03/2023 07:37

Reminds me of my married quarter days when my ex & I lived at RAF Brize Norton in the eighties
The prefab flats had one layer of plaster board,
the things you’d hear!

Sundayvibes · 04/03/2023 07:37

KarmaStar · 03/03/2023 23:13

Yes.Tell them.
then hopefully they can make some adjustments.
if you feel embarrassed you could put a card through the door saying
Hello I live next door at number xx and I am being kept awake during the night due to the bed squeaking/headboard banging/groans coming through the front/back bedroom walls.I am sure you weren't aware of this and possibly feel as embarrassed about this as I do.
please would you kindly consider taking some actions to reduce the noise as much as possible and I will buy myself some ear plugs too.
I really appreciate your understanding in this matter
.

Don’t be silly

Sundayvibes · 04/03/2023 07:44

I would be quite amused by this if honest.

lets be honest, how many of you in here would be shuffling closer to the wall for a better listen? 😂

Sundayvibes · 04/03/2023 07:44

On

Happysalley · 04/03/2023 07:47

I had this problem. Their bed was directly above mine and it sounded like the ceiling was going to come down while she mooed like a cow in labour. After being woken at 3am for the fourth night running (and kept awake for several hours) I lost it and recorded them on my phone and then banged on the ceiling with a big stick, Mr Heckles style. It worked! Next time I saw her in the garden I played her the recording so she could hear just how bloody loud it was. They moved their bedroom the next day.

Mainlinethehappy · 04/03/2023 07:48

Robyn847 · 04/03/2023 07:13

Match her, groan for groan, but longer and louder, just a fraction of a second after she groans.

That'll make them realise you can hear, AND put him off his stride.

👌This!

napody · 04/03/2023 07:53

piddocktrumperiness · 03/03/2023 23:34

Oh I would love to get ideas too. My upstairs neighbour and his lady friends are v v loud. One time I genuinely thought I heard seagulls, which confused me as it was dead of night- it was whoever he was sleeping with. Last summer, when it was scorching, the windows were open and as the estate has lots of apartment blocks, sound bounced off the walls and am pretty sure lots of people heard them. they can go on for ages- which, good for them but it is difficult to sleep to, and difficult when you have family over.

Seagulls 😂

outwiththeoldinwiththenewish · 04/03/2023 08:04

'I have a deaf cat who squawks very loudly (and close to the party bedroom wall) they surely MUST be able to hear her and put 2 and 2 together but obviously not!'

Could they be mistaking your cat's squawks for you having sex and think it's fair game? :)

Is it headboard/floorboard noise or moaning?

I'd try the coughing thing, or maybe calling out (to an imaginary person if need be) 'yes, please. I'll have tea', by the wall just as they finish so it's really clear how much can be heard.

Igenix4 · 04/03/2023 08:07

In the unlikely chance I'm your neighbour, I do apologise, however we're not embarrassed so don't worry

OhAMilkshake · 04/03/2023 08:12

I'm confused...so first you ask-
AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?!
And ask what you can do.

People give suggestions.

Then you change your story to -
I'm NOT complaining, I was concerned they would be embarrassed knowing I could hear them

So you're asking if you're being unreasonable for not wanting to hear them, but you're not complaining, you're just embarrassed for them?

I would probably say just crack on with your life if it doesn't bother you. Leave them to it! Simple!

Flyinggeesei234 · 04/03/2023 08:13

Toffeeappler · 03/03/2023 23:36

Change your wifi to “the walls are thinner than you think”

The wifi suggestion always comes up
on threads like this. I’m so curious, when would they see that? Surely they’re already logged into their wifi? @Toffeeappler please help me understand!

Benjispruce4 · 04/03/2023 08:24

A few loud sneezes and coughs . I wouldn’t put a note through.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 04/03/2023 08:25

OhAMilkshake · 04/03/2023 08:12

I'm confused...so first you ask-
AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?!
And ask what you can do.

People give suggestions.

Then you change your story to -
I'm NOT complaining, I was concerned they would be embarrassed knowing I could hear them

So you're asking if you're being unreasonable for not wanting to hear them, but you're not complaining, you're just embarrassed for them?

I would probably say just crack on with your life if it doesn't bother you. Leave them to it! Simple!

Yeah come on OP, at least have the courage of your original convictions!

If the whole of MN was 'rhetorical,' where would we be?

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/03/2023 08:26

Just here for the seagulls…. 😆

ChubbyMorticia · 04/03/2023 08:27

Personally, I’d get a white noise machine. Ed have one, and it’s fantastic. Our living room is right under our bedroom, and the white noise cancels out the tv blaring.

Only other suggestion I have is a playlist.

I Want Your Sex
Sexual Healing
The Bad Touch
I’m So Excited
I’ll Make Love To You
Let’s Put The X In Sex
You Shook Me All Night Long

etc

ChubbyMorticia · 04/03/2023 08:28

We have one. Not Ed. I don’t even know an Ed😂

Benjispruce4 · 04/03/2023 08:28

@ChubbyMorticia Dont forget ‘Your sex is on fire’ 🔥

JMSA · 04/03/2023 08:29

KarmaStar · 03/03/2023 23:13

Yes.Tell them.
then hopefully they can make some adjustments.
if you feel embarrassed you could put a card through the door saying
Hello I live next door at number xx and I am being kept awake during the night due to the bed squeaking/headboard banging/groans coming through the front/back bedroom walls.I am sure you weren't aware of this and possibly feel as embarrassed about this as I do.
please would you kindly consider taking some actions to reduce the noise as much as possible and I will buy myself some ear plugs too.
I really appreciate your understanding in this matter
.

My toes are curling at the thought of sending this - sorry!

ChubbyMorticia · 04/03/2023 08:30

Benjispruce4 · 04/03/2023 08:28

@ChubbyMorticia Dont forget ‘Your sex is on fire’ 🔥

Sounds like a medical issue, but okay 😂

WisherWood · 04/03/2023 08:41

I used to be able to hear my neighbours. In a way, I was quite grateful that I'd got the heads up that you could hear that much through the walls, as it made me a bit more careful when I got together with my DP.

I never said anything to them as they were pretty careful and it's obvious the walls are thin as you can hear people sneeze next door. I just put my wardrobe and chest of drawers against the party wall - nice load of clothing deadened the noise quite a bit.

Then the neighbours moved and everyone who's lived their since is either celibate or has the most vanilla sex going.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 04/03/2023 08:46

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:43

If you're talking about an orgy then no need for embarrassment fair enough however they may not be exhibitionists or attention seekers and they themselves might be mortified if they realised.

Show quote history

It’s nothing to do with being an exhibitionist or an attention seeker.

Having sex is normal and healthy and nothing to be embarrassed about if you’re overheard.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/03/2023 08:56

Can you move your furniture round so that your wardrobes are against that wall?

IncompleteSenten · 04/03/2023 09:04

Every time they start, play Barry White's can't get enough of your love babe.

They'll figure it out eventually.

WinterMusings · 04/03/2023 09:18

Companyofwolves · 03/03/2023 23:38

That’s inspired 🤣

Show quote history

I never understand these comments?!

Hiw/why do you see your neighbours wifi details?

I come into my house, wifi connects automatically & I just MN or whatever.I never see a list of neighbours wifis.

why are you?

@Fudgemaker why not try putting a TV/radio on loud on the adjoining wall everytime they start up?

ChocAuVin · 04/03/2023 09:21

Toffeeappler · 03/03/2023 23:36

Change your wifi to “the walls are thinner than you think”

Grin