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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours sex life

225 replies

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:01

AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?! They are not overly loud but the construction of the houses means there's little soundproofing. I'm embarrassed that I can hear them but I'm just in bed trying to sleep, I'm sure they'd be embarrassed if they knew I could clearly hear them, but what can I do?! I can't exactly tell than can I?

OP posts:
Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

GladandHappy · 03/03/2023 23:57

Put a bookcase on the wall adjacent to them..works well

Turnipworkharder · 03/03/2023 23:58

Probably my old neighbours that moved last year....christ the sex was soooo loud and the bed banging ...honestly used to drive me mad.
I feel for you OP.

LadyJ2023 · 03/03/2023 23:59

Emmmm it's part of life, you chose a flat/house with thin walls..they can clearly probably hear you doing stuff in your own place and there entitled to do there thing in theres

theministerscat · 03/03/2023 23:59

When I was in this situation, I put a delicately-worded anonymous note through their door letting them know all their neighbours could hear their bedroom noises. I never heard them again! But I think he and his lady friend split up soon after, I always wondered if it was related to the note! But at least I never had to listen to Tantric John again.

Original poster
Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:01

Murdoch1949 · 03/03/2023 23:47

You either tell them, move your bedroom or ignore it. You don't seem willing to choose any option, so why ask for ideas?

You weren't blessed with empathy were you 🤣 And besides I didn't ask for ideas...

OP posts:
PottedSprout · 04/03/2023 00:01

Earplugs are also a good shout!

It does sound like they're just having a standard pump though? Not like they're swinging from the lights or anything.

I'm getting paranoid I'm your neighbour now...

Fromwetome · 04/03/2023 00:02

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:01

AIBU not wanting to hear the neighbours having sex several times a week?! They are not overly loud but the construction of the houses means there's little soundproofing. I'm embarrassed that I can hear them but I'm just in bed trying to sleep, I'm sure they'd be embarrassed if they knew I could clearly hear them, but what can I do?! I can't exactly tell than can I?

That's exactly what you asked for?? What can I do!? Is what you asked...people have replied.

What did you actually want? Just to have a moan (no pun intended) and a moment of "poor me"?

Original poster
Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:03

Puppers · 03/03/2023 23:52

Unless they are being ridiculously and deliberately loud, this is just one of the joys of living in a terrace/flat/semi. Noise travels. You don't have to move your bed, but nor do they have to curtail a normal sex life.

If you think the noise they make is extreme then maybe consider addressing it with them. But if it's just a normal level of sound that unfortunately is heard in your house because you share walls then it's probably best to just do what you can in your home to reduce the impact (earplugs, explore soundproofing options, move bedrooms).

A reasonable and rational response... thank you!

OP posts:
meatballsoup · 04/03/2023 00:06

Some mumsnetters are so wierd about sex & some of the 'hilarious' suggestions are just stupid. So what, you can hear your adult neighbours having sex. Buy some ear buds or move your bedroom around so you're not so close to them.

Original poster
Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:10

My original concern was that they don't realise that could be heard and that they'd be embarrassed if they knew, the loudness isn't an issue or a reason to move bedrooms or furniture. I was in fact thinking of THEM!!

OP posts:
XanaduKira · 04/03/2023 00:14

I doubt they're bothered - they'll hear you as easily as you hear them, so they'll know the walls are ridiculously thin & obviously are continuing regardless.

PerfectYear321 · 04/03/2023 00:16

I would just knock on the wall

Lysianthus · 04/03/2023 00:17

theministerscat · 03/03/2023 23:59

When I was in this situation, I put a delicately-worded anonymous note through their door letting them know all their neighbours could hear their bedroom noises. I never heard them again! But I think he and his lady friend split up soon after, I always wondered if it was related to the note! But at least I never had to listen to Tantric John again.

Brilliant!

MsCactus · 04/03/2023 00:30

Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:10

My original concern was that they don't realise that could be heard and that they'd be embarrassed if they knew, the loudness isn't an issue or a reason to move bedrooms or furniture. I was in fact thinking of THEM!!

I think most people realise they'll be heard if the walls are thin, so if you're only concern is for them then I wouldn't bother saying anything

ortonym · 04/03/2023 00:31

Soapnotshowergel · 03/03/2023 23:33

Round of applause when they finish?

Yes. And light up a fag.

Propagandalf · 04/03/2023 00:39

Set up a passive sound system with 2 x 450W speakers up against the party line, which triggers when the sex noise volume reaches 70dB (this might need to be tweaked, trial and error). When the trigger level is reached, the 450W speakers will blast out heavy metal music through the wall. That will learn them :-)

EmmiJay · 04/03/2023 00:40

@SoSoapnotshowergel omg are you my old next-door neighbour?! That's EXACTLY what they did when I was having rumpy pumpy with my ex during the afternoon! Mortifying. So yes OP do this☺️

Kay286 · 04/03/2023 00:45

Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 00:03

A reasonable and rational response... thank you!

Show quote history

This ! I l mean come on ! Normal levels of sex at normals volumes then deal with it ! If someone put a note through my letterbox saying keep it down … in the throes of passion I give no shits ! If they at 12 hours a day like hammering the wall (unlikely ) then otherwise it’s Normal life .. thin walls .. deal with it wae
plug whatever but people
have sex !!

MrsDoylesDoily · 04/03/2023 00:48

Granolaandyoghurt · 03/03/2023 23:45

Why on earth should I?!!

Show quote history

Why on earth is it not obvious?

girlfriend44 · 04/03/2023 00:52

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 03/03/2023 23:37

Sex is sex. What’s to be embarrassed about? It’s not healthy to be embarrassed over such a natural act.

Yeah it’s not great for you to hear it, but they have no need to be quiet out of fear of embarrassment.

Exactly. Where do you suggest they have sex op? It's their home.
Move to a house with thicker walls or go detached if you don't want to hear neighbours.

Original poster
Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 01:00

@girlfriend44
Like I said previously I don't know that they are aware/ok with being overheard, THAT was my original concern, I'm embarrassed for them if they don't realise!

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 04/03/2023 01:02

A mega phone and go faster faster etc ?

Original poster
Granolaandyoghurt · 04/03/2023 01:04

Hawkins003 · 04/03/2023 01:02

A mega phone and go faster faster etc ?

😂

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 04/03/2023 01:09

Soapnotshowergel · 03/03/2023 23:33

Round of applause when they finish?

When I was in this situation last I resorted to raucous laughter.