To think if you work with people or children you should not be rude?

[StopInvolvingMe]

Why are some people rude in the work place? It’s annoying me!

I visit schools each week to work with children and often have to go in classes to get specific children. There’s a particular person who is always very abrupt and rude to me. She talks to me like I’m one of her yr 2’s. Talking more slowly, emphasising words as if I’m stupid. She never smiles and acts like I am an annoying inconvenience because I’m interrupting her! She also tries to manage when I should visit- I’m more than flexible by the way and totally get some times are not convenient (eg I avoid core subjects sessions) but it’s yr 2 who are doing painting mainly when I’m there.

I spoke to the Head and it turns out this person is not even in a teacher (I had assumed she was the teacher as she’s always quick to respond when I go into the class) she’s the TA for Gods sake! Head then laughed and said she thinks she’s actually in charge and runs the school and rolled her eyes 😂 and offered to have a word with her. (I realise this is not personal and she likes no one)

so if you don’t like people / children why would you work in this environment? I don’t get it.

I'm still betting on CAMHs.

Physios very rarely get into schools. OT usually send OT assistants, might be Ed psych, but most Ed psych I've known are a self depreciating bunch and rarely get back to the same person unless its a transition period.

Regardless of where you work and who with, there is never an excuse for rudeness. I think manners have seriously deteriorated in the last 5/10 years.

It clearly matters enough to you that you’ve started a whole thread about it. If you post what she actually said to you, the responses will be far more worthwhile.

Be interesting to know what the OPs job/qualifications actually are.

Self awareness was definitely not on the list of requirements.

You seem very status concious OP. You have no problem with the unprofessional behaviour of the head rudely disparaging a member of their staff to you, but are very irritated by the rudeness of the lower ranking colleague.
Being rude is unacceptable wherever you are in the hierarchy. Its not something only people with Big Jobs are allowed to do. I'd personally be a lot more perturbed by a boss who laughed at their staff behind their back with another junior than of a colleague who was openly rude.

If the TA is paid a pittance but having a whole class dumped on her while they do painting of all things (plenty of fantastic tools to misbehave with if whoever is supervising you gets distracted for a second), then I’m not surprised she’s coming across as a bit grumpy. If the teacher is in the classroom with her, but leaving the TA to talk to you, then that is seriously weird behaviour on the part of the teacher.

I've seen abused and emotionally damaged children and adults flourish and start important steps self healing with a play therapist. And I know TA's who are dedicated caring and give some children a consistent beautiful modelling behaviour. You sound like a twat!

Camhs haven’t set foot in my school for years 😂

My role is to work directly for parents with their child

Perhaps some sort of paid ‘advocate’….

But lunchtime supervisors don't question your self evident superiority by checking why a pupil is being taken out of your class.....

OP, seriously. You are giving a very 'better than TAs and Play therapists' vibe.

You don't seem to have much respect for people in those roles. Yet your words indicate a respectful approach to the head and teachers.

Yes, the TA you refer to may be rude (who are we to say, we weren't there). Just as your comments are rude about TAs. And just as the head was unprofessional to come across as critical of a staff member.

I understand completely what you mean! I know at least 2 TA’s who give the impression that they are the teacher!
This does not mean that you have anything against TA’s, but the teacher is the one who has spent a lot of time and money training to do the role and has overall responsibility for the class. I think some TA’s are actually really disrespectful and rude.

Lots of TA's have teaching qualifications.

I know and most of them are totally awesome and schools couldn’t survive without them! But, it’s the ones who don’t have any formal training and just have power issues that I have a problem with.

That’s fine you’re entitled to your opinion. Not sure why you think the head was rude or disparaging- I clearly wasn’t the first person to have spoken to her about this member of staff hence the reaction I got, it is what it is. She handled it very well and offered to speak to the member of staff on my behalf.

Usually they've work with the parent and school but not child I think?

The fact she avoided the CAMHS question does nothing to discredit my guess

There's been a push in some areas for Cahms to see the children in school because they can "see" multiple children quickly.

Why are you treating this like something it’s not? No one is questioning how good or valuable the TA is - it’s about rudeness not work performance

I don’t work for CAHMS. This statement is far reaching and vacuous. As far as I’m aware CAHMS is a free service to parents- not sure they pay for it

I’d say the HT is the rude person in this scenario, speaking about her employee in derogatory terms.

She wasn’t rude or derogatory

TAs are often the ones that know some of the more challenging kids the best. If you want the inside knowledge on the class the TA is often the one you ask first.

Disrespect a TA at your peril!

You brought up their teaching qualifications! Not me! This is why I hate Mumsnet!

I don’t think I did? I might have said I’m not answerable to the TA - is that what you mean?

You wrote

Head then laughed and said she thinks she’s actually in charge and runs the school and rolled her eyes 😂

That’s rude and derogatory

I’m very self aware

I think that would have been rude if said in a communal area where others can hear, but not behind closed doors