To think if you work with people or children you should not be rude?

[StopInvolvingMe]

Why are some people rude in the work place? It’s annoying me!

I visit schools each week to work with children and often have to go in classes to get specific children. There’s a particular person who is always very abrupt and rude to me. She talks to me like I’m one of her yr 2’s. Talking more slowly, emphasising words as if I’m stupid. She never smiles and acts like I am an annoying inconvenience because I’m interrupting her! She also tries to manage when I should visit- I’m more than flexible by the way and totally get some times are not convenient (eg I avoid core subjects sessions) but it’s yr 2 who are doing painting mainly when I’m there.

I spoke to the Head and it turns out this person is not even in a teacher (I had assumed she was the teacher as she’s always quick to respond when I go into the class) she’s the TA for Gods sake! Head then laughed and said she thinks she’s actually in charge and runs the school and rolled her eyes 😂 and offered to have a word with her. (I realise this is not personal and she likes no one)

so if you don’t like people / children why would you work in this environment? I don’t get it.

You come across as deeply unpleasant on this thread, hopefully less so in real life. Are you really unaware of how you’re presenting yourself here, or are you just playing up to it now?

I’m far from deeply unpleasant

And yet that seems to be the feeling from the majority of posters here.

My time is already agreed though so it’s not relevant

Not really, it’s mainly the same posters being cantankerous

Well, in answer to my original question then, it seems you are genuinely unaware.

I am aware, but people are rarely what they seem

Would her behaviour not be rude if she were the decision maker? If it would be rude regardless, then it is not remotely relevant she is the TA, not the teacher.

Also, it is not actually the case that TAs are never decision makers. Where the TA has been left in charge of the class, she is responsible for that class and you are a visitor who has to defer to a certain extent to the person in charge of that class when you visit. It is not remotely unreasonable for her to indicate what works best for her and her class while she is in charge of that class, given that you yourself have specified that you can be flexible. The only problem is her manner when she directs you, not that she is telling you what works best for the class she is responsible for at the time. Has she ever prevented you from actually fulfilling your function, or do you just object to be told what to do by someone you look down on/do not think should be entitled to an opinion, even though she knows the class and what they are doing at the time better than you do?

She’s not the decision maker with regards to anything to do with me, visit times have already been agreed with SLT, hence avoiding core subjects such as literacy and numeracy.

Ive already explained that I’m flexible- I often come back later / swap groups around, that’s just the environment in which I work, none of this is an issue for me. The issue is how I’m spoken to, not what is said.

I don’t look down in anyone, never have done. I treat everyone exactly the same, but I don’t tolerate rudeness and especially if it’s unwarranted. It’s not unreasonable to expect to be shown the same amount of courtesy back.

She doesn’t prevent me from doing anything- she doesn’t have the authority to. She does however create an unpleasant atmosphere and makes things more difficult which is both unnecessary and futile.

TA here!
I'd have no issue with you taking kids out for interventions, you've already said these aren't taking place during core subjects. I'd let you take them out even if I hadn't been notified you were coming and certainly wouldn't speak to you like you were an inconvenience! 100% YANBU!
I've witnessed teachers being rude to S&L for 'interrupting', even though these interventions are to help the kids and, I find it really embarrassing when it happens!

Have to say though - which I know, isn't what the OP was about - it did sting a bit to read "just the TA" and I thoroughly appreciate those that have later defended the TA role.
It does suggest we're worthless in comparison to the teacher, and yet we've been left alone to teach the class you're 'interrupting' and to look after someone's precious children 🤷🏼‍♀️
If the word "just" hadn't been used, I suspect there wouldn't have been as much backlash, for future reference!
I'm sorry someone else is making your job difficult and wholeheartedly agree with you speaking to the HT.

If she's a TA doing a teachers role she's probably miserable being paid fuck all to teach a class of kids

So, are you seeing the same children at the same time each week, during the same lesson? Is it really always painting you are interrupting? That doesn’t sound like a great idea, tbh, now primary schools are expected to give equal weight to all areas of the curriculum.

If, on the other hand, you have been given very specific times each week for specific children, then you shouldn’t be changing that anyway, just saying it is time for that child’s session.

So, do you have very specific times, or is it not, in fact, unreasonable for the person in charge of the class at the time to suggest which of the children you are seeing from their class that day might most appropriately leave the class first? Or in other words, is it just their rudeness that is the problem and you have unnecessarily introduced a load of totally irrelevant information about them not being allowed to suggest anything to you, because it’s hard to tell, given your obvious disdain for the person concerned.

Don’t be daft! I’m not sneery at all, certainly don’t look down on people,

and then you totally contradict the first part of your sentence with the second.

this is more about people punching above their weight surely?

OP you aren’t covering yourself with glory here and your obtuseness here might be why the TA isn’t overly enamoured with you, or you’ve met someone who gives as good as she gets.

If I were the curriculum lead for art, I’d be pissed off with SLT…

@StopInvolvingMe kindly, are you nd, op?

A lot of teachers and TAs are getting fed up with "outside services" coming into schools and taking pupils out of lessons to "help" with something or other. It often has the reverse effect of the one intended, as the pupils then miss part of the lesson and are on catch-up afterwards, thereby actually increasing their stress and anxiety. It would be far more helpful and useful for these 'visits' to take place outside of school hours. Appreciate that might not fit with your working day though, but ultimately it should be all about the child(ren).

My kids had a nursery worker who was incredibly rude to me and other parents when we picked up dropped off. So much so that the manager once asked me if I’d make a complaint about her. But she was absolutely brilliant with my kids and they loved her.

I don’t think attitude to other adults is necessarily indicative of attitude to children, and they could be well suited to the main role even if they don’t like people. Also, there are very few jobs that don’t involve working with people. Not being a people person doesn’t mean you don’t need a job!

But it’s a huge shame she can’t be professional and friendly to you. It does make the workplace a much less enjoyable experience when people are like that.

(And for the record, I didn’t take your comment about her being a TA as looking down on her, I thought you were just trying to make the point that she doesn’t have responsibility for what’s happening in class when, the way a teacher might).

That’s a really unfortunate attitude to have, it’s a shame you clearly don’t value any kind of services outside visitors are offering to children at your school. In my experience, children benefit greatly from things like music for example. Would you suggest all these people are only allowed to work after 4pm Mon -Fri and weekends?

You’re completely unreasonable

Touched a nerve? I suspect you know full well that removing pupils from lessons is of no discernible benefit to them, and is purely a box-ticking exercise in many cases, but that doesn't suit your narrative. You think teachers can't see this too? You wonder why they're not welcoming you with open arms when they're going to have to try and catch these children up afterwards? Wake up and put the children first.