To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

I was stopped once by police and just did breathalyser via window. I did not get out of car and they never asked me to. I had not been drinking so all clear

This is a sad indictment of relations between the police and the populace, women in particular. I am actually quite shocked by how many say they would do the same as the OP. I don't think it would even occur to me NOT to get out of the car . But I am not a nervous person at all and am in Ireland, I don't think we have had the kind of cases - or at least they have not been publicised - as you have had in the UK.

YANBU.

In fact, the new officer phoning you after they sent you on your way with no further action feels like harassment and I'd be raising a complaint. The police know they only have their officers to blame for women not feeling safe around them when alone or accompanied. To ring you to have a go is unnecessary and clearly they didn't have that big of a concern regards you potentially being drunk or they would have called for back up and removed you from the vehicle. The fact you offered to accompany them to the station should be enough.

The police are just bullies. And he needs reporting.

’Especially when there are two officers, very obviously on duty, in a marked vehicle.’

Because the police never stop people without a valid reason, harass or intimidate people when they’re in uniform.

Other option is to offer to ring the police station with their badge numbers to verify the stop...

Wayne Couzens had legitimate police ID. Women are, with good reason, more worried about the actual police than people faking being police.

I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't have got out either and I would complain about the arsehole who called to reprimand you, he's a tone deaf POS. Women would love to feel they could trust the police but it's not our fault we can't.

very wise. I'd have done the same, or said I would get out for a female police officer and would wait while they called one.

I actually rather admire what you did. I’d have just done whatever they asked I’m sure. You instead looked after your personal safety in an age where the police have a reputation for being rapists and murderers. Good for you!

If they want the public to comply with them they need to start making some serious changes to their toxic, misogynistic culture

You did the right thing. I salute you OP

I agree

In fact, the new officer phoning you after they sent you on your way with no further action feels like harassment and I'd be raising a complaint
Agreed. The police should not expect lone women to get out of the car. If they do then they need to be re-educated and change their expectations.

Hear hear.

No way would I get out of the car and no way would I tell my daughters to.

I would also probably photograph them on my phone and send it to my husband.

I have been reared to have nothing but respect for the police and in my own life interactions with them they have always been super professional and kind.

But the recent cases and how long they got away with their crimes, has made me far more suspicious of them as a group.

No way would I want my girls opening a door to them when they were driving on their own late at night.

Awful but true.

They have proven themselves to be supporters of men over and above women. I wouldn't have got out either.

YANBU.

You were totally reasonable. Just say the 2 words 'Sarah Everard' if they phone you about it again.

’I don't think we have had the kind of cases - or at least they have not been publicised - as you have had in the UK.’

To be fair, the police in the U.K. have spent most of their time stopping and harassing drivers of colour so it’s something that white women haven’t had to worry about until recently.

Maybe not, but he'd have still most likely gone on to abduct some other woman anyway

Sharing photos is not on a par with abducting/attacking someone.

There is no 'ringing the police station' it's 101 and hope

I was stopped by a police officer conducting random breath tests four years ago. Rural area, around midnight on a Saturday in the run-up to Christmas. It was a freezing night and I wound down the window, he passed me the breathalyser and I blew into it then passed it back and was given the instant okay to drive on. I wasn't asked to get out of the car. Why couldn't this police officer have done the same?

Wrong to refuse breathalyser but right to stay in your car. I don't see why you couldn't do it from in your car.

OP is not the person in the position of authority here.

Two police officers on patrol as 2am see a car swerving into the middle of the road, for no apparent reason, what do you think they are going to suspect might be the case?

It's perfectly reasonable for them to stop the driver, explain why they have been stopped, then if they are still suspicious to request a sample.

The fact OP was adequately able to allay their initial suspicions, and her behaviour appears to have satisfied them that she was not intoxicated, meant that they consequently felt a sample was unnecessary and they've bid OP on her way.

What OP 'knew' is inconsequential, the police are absolutely correct and justified in stopping a driver they have witnessed swerving in the road at 2am in the morning, and again, had they been convinced OP had been drinking you can rest assured she wouldn't have been driving anywhere, they'd have taken her to the station in their own vehicle, under arrest if necessary, in order to establish her sobriety.

I'm not sure of your point. Are you saying women shouldn't take safety precautions and and effectively sacrifice themselves so criminals don't attack someone else instead of them?

@AngeloMysterioso totally agree with what you done, i would do the same 👍

I would have done the same in light of everything that’s come out. (In the past I would have done as I was told but that was naive.