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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

871 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/03/2023 17:05

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
ReliantRobyn · 02/03/2023 17:06

Yes.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 02/03/2023 17:06

You were right. I’m afraid the police have lost the trust of lone women.

Thatnameistaken · 02/03/2023 17:07

I would have done the same in a similar situation OP

LuciferRising · 02/03/2023 17:07

I would not have gotten out.

frustratedtenant · 02/03/2023 17:08

No, assuming you were polite.

Ladybug14 · 02/03/2023 17:08

You were absolutely right.

Bizzyone · 02/03/2023 17:08

I would have done same as you and am surprised police officer pushed it with you given recent events!

WakeMeUpInspring · 02/03/2023 17:08

I think I would do the same.

Saucery · 02/03/2023 17:08

YANBU. They must have believed you or they wouldn’t have let you leave.

cortisolqueen · 02/03/2023 17:08

I would have done the same. Unfortunately police actions recently have caused women to be rightly wary in these circumstances.

Who was the other police officer and why were they getting involved?

babynoname22 · 02/03/2023 17:09

You were right. Legally you don't have to get out just pull over

PuttingDownRoots · 02/03/2023 17:09

Other option is to offer to ring the police station with their badge numbers to verify the stop...

But if they suspect you of drink driving I can see why they wouldn't want you driving off!

Timeforabiscuit · 02/03/2023 17:09

Yanbu

Motnight · 02/03/2023 17:09

Well done, Op. The police have a very long way to go before they deserve women to trust them again.

Crumpleton · 02/03/2023 17:10

You were correct.
This is something a police officer advised me to do years ago if this case ever happened to me.

verdantverdure · 02/03/2023 17:10

YANBU

Iheartmysmart · 02/03/2023 17:10

I would have done exactly the same as you. The police need to clean up their act pretty sharpish if they want to regain the trust of women.

FKATondelayo · 02/03/2023 17:10

YANBU

Mumoftwoinprimary · 02/03/2023 17:11

Not according to our (now got rid of) Police Commissioner. In fact - in his opinion - had you got out the car and been raped and murdered - it would have been your own fault!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-58762029

Wtfwhy · 02/03/2023 17:11

Good for you. Could they not have done breathalyser through window? No need to get out OR go to police station. Or did you not want to wind down anymore Op? I can understand that too.

meatyryvita · 02/03/2023 17:12

Was it 1 in 100 police officers face criminal charges in the headlines recently? You did just the right thing - evidently some of them can't be trusted.

pawz · 02/03/2023 17:12

Eh I think you were slightly BU tbh, but that's only because I wouldn't have had an issue in that situation personally so my view is a bit skewed. But I can see from your point why you'd be uncomfortable in that situation.

However they must have totally understood why you felt that way and that's why they didn't push on the breath test and let you get on with it after a few more questions (they can arrest for failure to comply with a breath test request!), so they clearly didn't mind that much. Bit rude of the other cop to call you up and tell you off though!

DPotter · 02/03/2023 17:12

Many, many years ago my DF (not one for exaggeration or hyperbole) told me if stopped in a car by the police, to stay in the car and say you'll drive to the nearest police station.

You did the right thing

Fizzadora · 02/03/2023 17:12

PuttingDownRoots · 02/03/2023 17:09

Other option is to offer to ring the police station with their badge numbers to verify the stop...

But if they suspect you of drink driving I can see why they wouldn't want you driving off!

A genuine badge number doesn't mean you are safe though does it.
If I were you @AngeloMysterioso I would be contacting the chief constable to find out why you were taken to task on the phone for protecting yourself.

FKATondelayo · 02/03/2023 17:13

I've never been breathalised but surely it's possible to do a test while remaining in your car? Why would you need to get out?