To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

The phone call is very likely to have happened when the two officers reported the incident and that no further action was taken. Probably the senior officer they reported to would have done it. And in my humble opinion it was warranted to make sure the OP understood that she put herself at risk of being arrested and could have ended up with a prison sentence, had they decided to pursue it.

And while she's being unhelpful another member of the public could be in serious harm and needs a response. But sorry they can't go because they're dealing with someone's prejudice against male Policemen.

@OMG12

And in what logical basis does the extremely small number of cases give you to mistrust every police officer you meet?

Because the bad apples do not have a big sign on their head saying "I'm not to trusted" - until that happens I will not trust any of them

You were not unreasonable at all.
Official advice from the Met in the wake of Sarah Everard's rape and murder by a serving officer was for lone women worried about being approached by police to "flag down a bus". I assume this is still official advice.
It sounds like the officers behaved reasonably in this case.
You should be complaining to your MP about the follow up phone call though. That is utterly outrageous.

Thank you xxxx

I'm sure this is true for some/most (?), however it is definitely not true for all, as we have seen with appalling consequences.

After Sarah Everard the Met did issue a directive that lone male plain clothed officers should not stop lone women and that if it was necessary they must video call a uniformed officer.

That's obviously not what happened here, but I imagine is what PP has heard.

But it really is annoying that the police always seem to get it in the neck especially because our family sacrifices so much.

Lack of public trust is because of officers covering up crimes or suspected crimes for their colleagues. It isn’t just one bad apple, it’s the multitude who covered for them. So while it definitely isn’t all police officers, it is enough to many lone women wary. And the sacrifice your family makes (through choice) isn’t a good enough reason for a stranger to risk their own safety.

Every time the topic of police comes up on mumsnet I'm always astonished at the amount of women who so boldly declare the police are not only no longer to be trusted but to be openly treated with suspicion and hostility.

I once spent Christmas Day, trying to save the life of a pregnant 18 year old who’d been hit by a drunk driver. She died - in pain and terror. I can still hear her screaming, 20 years later.

Police attacks on women are terrible, but so are the consequences of drink driving.

Are you seriously saying the police should ignore a driver who appears to be driving erratically at 2 in the morning? What level of suspicion do you think they should need? A bottle of Jack Daniels taped to the dashboard?

Yanbu. I was manhandled by 4 male policemen into the back of their van where they laughed as they threw me in the back. I'd had a car accident, no one else involved, only me. I couldn't stand up straight, and my face had dropped to one side, and I couldn't comprehend them wanting to do a breathalyser. So they grabbed me, dragged me across the road as I couldn't walk, and threw me in their van as though I was a drunken person just come out a nightclub. On the journey to the police station, I was trying to say "help" in the back, and when they opened the doors, I couldn't move. I was rushed to hospital and had suffered a stroke! The (male) fuckers still hung around the hospital wanting to do a blood test to prove I hadn't been drinking, probably because they didn't want to admit they had fucked up! I refused as I have a needle phobia. I have to be put out under gas to take needles. So the arsehole policeman who was one that threw me in the back of the van then reported me as "failing to provide" and it cost me £6k in Solicitors fees to prove I actually did have a phobia of needles. I'm still paying that debt now.

So no I don't blame you for not doing as the male police officers wanted as a lone woman at 2am!

I've a lot of sympathy for the police, it must be a difficult and often frightening job.

You don't regain public trust by berating and belittling people's fears.

Absolutely agree with this. YWNBU Op!

And it’s not lawful for a non-uniformed officer to require a preliminary breath test, so this wouldn’t arise.

Going by the comments its hatred mistrust.

I'm interested in the hatred bit.

All think of this. I hope to god one day you don't need help from a Policeman and if you do then you get help quickly.

If you don't get help quickly they may just be caught up with the 2am query drunk driver arguing back at them.

Thank you xxxx

@Rosscameasdoody And some of us are just trying to get home after a long day and work unsociable hours. 'Some' as in not all. 'Most' also as in not all. Lots of people are stopped for drink driving during daylight hours. I wouldn't say 'most' people on the road at 2am are up to no good. Most are legitimately driving for other reasons other than being intoxicated. The police just automatically think the worse and conveniently forget that there are other shift workers apart from them.

Spot on. I recommend a bit of googling because this is exactly what’s happening in some US states. There are any number of videos online showing some horrible abuse directed at police officers who have stopped drivers for perfectly legitimate reasons, including one woman who refused to exit her vehicle when asked to do so, after running a red light and nearly hitting a pedestrian - that particular individual accused the officer of ‘targeting’ her because of her race. Groups of people are walking out of supermarkets with full trolleys and staff are powerless to stop them because there’s no back up from the police, and in some cases entire police forces have been defunded. Do we really want that here ? Because this is how it starts.

I got mugged once, and knocked unconscious. Soon after I came round in hospital the police came to speak to me - the first thing he said was 'so, I hear you've been attacked by a black man".

Yes I do hope I never need the police to help me, particularly if I was raped.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-64815863

So if you're family member was killed by a drunk driver which the police had seen swerve and proceeded to ignore because "they might just be a shit worker" would you be okay with that? Or would that be different?

Yabu, if you had been drinking they couldn't let you drive over a mile to the police station, you might have hit someone. I've met dozens of police through work and all are lovely fair people, the occasional bad apple doesn't mean you should be ignoring the law. Swerving could indicate drunk driving

But it’s not the ‘rules of the police’ it’s the rule of law !!

From what most of you are saying you want drink drivers to be allowed to refuse to take a test or be arrested? You do realise that some drink drivers are female?? Police need to be able to do their job. I want drink and drug drivers off the streets. Op wasn't drunk but if she was?