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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

871 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/03/2023 17:05

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 02/03/2023 19:25

@Milamight - causes real damage? What, to the reputation of the police? Grin I rather think the actions of the corrupt and criminal male police officers are the ones that have done the damage and it's THEIR issue to sort out - not ours. Don't you dare blame women for not trusting the police. We know we can't.
Like they say, it may not be all men/officers but we don't know WHICH men/officers.

Survey99 · 02/03/2023 19:26

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 02/03/2023 18:48

@Survey99 did she? Are you about that. She didn't refuse to give a breath test. She offered to go to the police station. There's no formal legal requirement to get out of her vehicle, in the U.K. at least. If they wanted to breathalyse her, she can stay in her stopped, engine off, vehicle.

She obviously can't drive further if she is suspected of being intoxicated. And yes if the police officers still considered they needed a breath test and she refused to do it at roadside she would be breaking the law.

What is a DR70 conviction?
A DR70 offence relates to failing to provide a preliminary specimen for a breath test without a reasonable excuse. This usually relates to a request to blow into a handheld device at the roadside. It is illegal to refuse to give a breath test when asked to do so by the police.

They can give 4 points and up to £1000 fine.

Leftbutcameback · 02/03/2023 19:26

You did the right thing, they should have taken you up on your offer to drive to the station. That would have been sensible on their part. As they didn’t no reason to “tell you off” 🤔

ItsCalledAConversation · 02/03/2023 19:30

Absolutely no way, I’d be terrified. Good suggestion to drive to the station. I have absolutely zero trust in the police. For good reason - they harbour and enable dangerous rapists within their ranks. YADNBU.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 02/03/2023 19:30

It's supposed to be educate, inform and protect not assault, rape and murder. And then share photos of bodies with your mates.
^This, and Hillsborough.

ShandaLear · 02/03/2023 19:31

Oh hell no. You did the right thing - the brave thing even. I’d have put my hazard lights on and driven to a well lit public area with CCTV before opening a window. I am sorry this happened to you. It must have been very scary.

ItsCalledAConversation · 02/03/2023 19:31

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 02/03/2023 19:25

@Milamight - causes real damage? What, to the reputation of the police? Grin I rather think the actions of the corrupt and criminal male police officers are the ones that have done the damage and it's THEIR issue to sort out - not ours. Don't you dare blame women for not trusting the police. We know we can't.
Like they say, it may not be all men/officers but we don't know WHICH men/officers.

The ones that sat by and watched/didn’t speak/ and enabled the culture are also culpable. So that means all of them. Pigs.

Whiskeypowers · 02/03/2023 19:32

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 02/03/2023 19:30

It's supposed to be educate, inform and protect not assault, rape and murder. And then share photos of bodies with your mates.
^This, and Hillsborough.

Absolutely yes

VladmirsPoutine · 02/03/2023 19:32

ItsCalledAConversation · 02/03/2023 19:30

Absolutely no way, I’d be terrified. Good suggestion to drive to the station. I have absolutely zero trust in the police. For good reason - they harbour and enable dangerous rapists within their ranks. YADNBU.

It wasn't a good suggestion to drive to the station if they suspect her of being intoxicated. That aside, I think the OP was extremely lucky that this situation panned out the way it did.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 02/03/2023 19:32

Yoyo2021 · 02/03/2023 19:13

Wow. They have lost my trust even further with your story! Why on Earth did they ask to do a breathalyser and then not do it when you refused and allow you to go home? They shouldn’t have asked unless they had suspicion that you had actually been drinking. I’m so glad you did not get out of that car ! The police service is nuts!

They witnessed OP driving erratically, hence the suspicion. A breath sample is the easiest way to establish whether or not someone is driving while over the limit. Plenty of people can be well over the official limit and show no signs whatsoever of being drunk, so the breathalyser removes all doubt and also the need for human beings to make value judgements, which, even given their experience, may not be 100% reliable.

The officers at the scene were clearly satisfied by OP's answers, behaviours, and rationality that there was no need to press further for a sample and sent her on her way. Seems that in this case everyone involved acted with common sense, the situation was resolved perfectly reasonably, and there's no harm done, so I'm unsure what there actually is about this particular scenario that gives reason for people to be spitting feathers.

Tinkerbyebye · 02/03/2023 19:34

I would do the same, and if I got a phone call I would take the name of that officer the write to the chief constable explaining what happened, and that with all the press etc at the moment it’s inappropriate for someone to them call and tell you off

GlomOfNit · 02/03/2023 19:35

I've already decided that this is how I'll proceed if I'm stopped by police in circumstances where there's nobody else around. Sorry, but they've lost our trust. Assuming I wasn't being violent or actively unsafe, I'm not getting out of the car for a random check, they can tail me to the nearest police station and do it there. OP, I'm furious that you got a follow-up call 'telling you off'.

As for potholes, jesus! There are SO MANY round here, I know lots of people whose tyres have been eaten by them. You'd think the police would notice and realise quickly why you swerved...

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 02/03/2023 19:35

@Mainlinethehappy ah how nice it must be to live in your fluffy world where the police are all honest, fair, upstanding and never profile anyone due to skin colour, dress sense or home postcode. Now that's a moon to aim for. As unrealistic as you.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 02/03/2023 19:35

No chance would I have gotten out of the car on my own at that time of night. I think it's unreasonable that they feel cross about it given that you offered to do the test at the police station.

MyStarBoy · 02/03/2023 19:37

You did the right thing.

Eddielizzard · 02/03/2023 19:38

Outrageous that they called you to tell you off. Read the room, police. You've fucked up public trust. Deal with it. Don't tell us off.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 02/03/2023 19:39

@Mainlinethehappy maybe you need to check the recent stats on number of police complaints and how many investigations are happening in the Met and eventually will be across all forces. That might cool your jets somewhat.

OMG12 · 02/03/2023 19:39

asked my DH who’s a special he said if the police officers thought you were drunk in what world would they have let you drive to a police station? Imagine if they’d said yes, you drove round the corner and ploughed into a group of people? I think them not allowing you to drive to a police station is just common sense in the circumstances you describe.

He said he would have radioed to see if a female officer could attend.

He would have assessed the situation as he spoke with you though to see how far to push it. Which it sounds like these officers did so I think they dealt with the whole thing appropriately.

not sure about the call the next day.

TBH 2 policemen in uniform, squad car, I’d have made sure their body cams were on, asked them to radio control then just complied. If you felt at risk you should have asked to speak with their Sargent/inspector. The risk from these two would have been almost non- existent.

SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 19:39

For goodness sake. They stopped her because they suspected drunk driving. Having done so and spoken to her they will have known full well that she wasn't drunk. They didn't let a drunk drive off.

Although OP hasn't been back and I do wonder about the "telling off" phonecall.

MrsRandom123 · 02/03/2023 19:40

My reaction would have been the same as yours

ancientgran · 02/03/2023 19:40

Nocutenamesleft · 02/03/2023 18:04

Absolutely in the right

ehen I was 11 my mum parked on double yellow lines (wrong I know!) she left me in the car to go get some food for 5-7 mins really. During that time 2 plain clothed officers came over and tried to get me to get out of the car. I wouldn’t open my door and they started hammering with their batons and trying to break the car window. I was obviously terrified that I was going to get kidnapped! My father was an actual police officer and had told me to never open the door if I was alone

they actually got into real trouble at the time because they didn’t show me identification or even tell me their names. Just tried to force me out of the car. Remember they weren’t in uniform so I just thought it was random men. They told me they were police but they just went a bit nuts!

since then I would get out in the middle of the night on my own.

Plain clothes officers don't go round with batons. Your mother was very irresponsible leaving a child in a car parked on double yellows.

Axahooxa · 02/03/2023 19:42

YANBU

Beaverbridge · 02/03/2023 19:43

You deffo did the right thing.

ancientgran · 02/03/2023 19:43

Nocutenamesleft · 02/03/2023 18:19

Really? That’s put my mind at rest massively. Thank you

but if they suspect you drink driving and you refuse a breath test at the side of the road. Would you then need to drive to the police station under the influence? What’s the thinking on that?

Show quote history

They'd take you to the police station, they couldn't let you drive if they think you are over the limit.

Cwtchpuffling · 02/03/2023 19:43

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 02/03/2023 17:06

You were right. I’m afraid the police have lost the trust of lone women.

This 100%