To have refused to get out of my car for the police in the middle of the night?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Was driving home from work at just after 2 a.m last night when I was pulled over by a pair of male coppers in a squad car after I swerved in the road to avoid a pothole.

I stopped, lowered my window a crack and then turned the engine off and made sure all the doors were locked. They both got out of the car and came over, asked about where I was going, where I’d been etc etc and then asked about the swerve- I explained about the pothole, and that I didn’t consider the move to have been dangerous as there were no other vehicles or anywhere near me (they had been some distance in front of me at the time and on the other side of the road but there was absolutely no chance of a collision) and no pedestrians anywhere around.
Then they asked if I would get out of the car and take a breathalyser test. I refused- I said I’d happily drive to the police station (maybe a mile- mile and a half away) and take a breathalyser there, but that I didn’t feel safe getting out of my car and being alone with two massive blokes in the middle of the night with no other people around, and them being in a uniform didn’t change that for me.

They asked a few more questions about my work, if they needed to would anyone be able to verify that I’d been working, gave me a lecture about driving safely and in the end let me go home with no further action taken - but I’ve just had a phonecall from another police officer basically telling me off for not just doing as I was told.

Was I BU?

Don’t be obtuse. Yes, absolutely I did namedrop! I wasn’t prepared to get out of my car on a country road in a perfectly lit car for two men who happened to be policemen. They had no justifiable reason to stop my car at all.

I’d do it again today.

Unfortunately the people who represent a danger to us can't reliably be visually identified so it's entirely logical for us to exercise caution whenever we feel vulnerable.

I'd rather be cautious and wrong than reckless and wrong.

"He rang the police station from inside the van" 😂
He had their number?

I’d have done exactly the same. If they want you out the car they call for at least one female officer to attend. They could obviously tell from your speech you weren’t drunk.

But surely you see that there are more drunk drivers on the street than there are psychopathic police officers working in pairs?

The last time I was on the non urgent police number I waited quite some time before anyone picked up

Thats why I outlined the option via their radios

Surely not with people suspected of drunk driving?

I have every sympathy with the OP's fears, but I also don't think the police can allow someone they suspect of being drunk to drive to a police station. They might kill themselves or another road user en route.

The police need to come up with a system that reassures women in this situation e.g. woman can speak to a female call hander, who stays on the line throughout.

Of course there are! And?

Wow so what we have is a police who essentially don't have the power to police its citizens. What a society we live in. I personally think you absolutely should have done as asked. How utterly disrepectful

What we have is a police force that has raped women and murdered women. Of course any sensible lone woman would fear them. What a society indeed.

This is another to add to the very long list of ways women will always be wrong. If she'd got out of the car and the worst had happened there would be people saying "Well she should have known better, doesn't she read the news?"

NAMALT, or in this case, NAPMALT?

We don't have to carry out the analysis you suggest.
One is enough.
Wayne Couzens, for example, know as “the rapist” amongst his colleagues, for years.
Don't see a lot of concern for the safety of women in those attitudes.

I don't understand your point.

There are lots of criminals about so I shouldn't worry about the criminals in uniform?

Personally, I would have got out the car,
I guess I’m just programmed to trust people in uniform… I’d also be more comfortable as there were two of them and I’d expect each to act as a check on the other.

That said, if you didn’t feel safe then you did the right thing by offering to go to the station with them to take the test there.

When the police start showing respect to women by not raping and murdering us, by not covering for rapists and murderers and by properly investigating allegations of sexual and violent misconduct, then maybe there will be something to respect.

I want to thank you, OP, for posting this thread. Tbh I probably would have got out without thinking. This is a timely reminder to me of what I should do which is what you did.

also, please complain about the follow up phonecall. A previous PP is correct. It’s the police service. They carry out their jobs with our consent. It’s an important distinction.

There were an estimated 200 fatal drink-drive collisions in 2020

2,000 police officers accused of sexual misconduct in past four years

It would appear that women are at more risk from police officers that drink drivers.
This is not a place that a civilised country should be in.

Wow. They have lost my trust even further with your story! Why on Earth did they ask to do a breathalyser and then not do it when you refused and allow you to go home? They shouldn’t have asked unless they had suspicion that you had actually been drinking. I’m so glad you did not get out of that car ! The police service is nuts!

Do you think every tradesperson is a cowboy? Every car mechanic is out to scam us?

Er - yeah, I kinda assume guilty until proven innocent on those. See also Estate Agents. I know loads of people who have at least been quoted by a cowboy, or gone to a mechanic with their own car and the mechanic just talked at the man they brought with them.

I think he rang 999 who put him through to the station but I can’t remember.

This was about 15 years ago now but I always think about it 😄

This is an interesting thread and has reminded me to explain the same to my daughter. Thank you

Oh and @Bunsandtophats in the U.K. it's supposed to be a system of "police by consent" not "the police can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it"

It's supposed to be educate, inform and protect not assault, rape and murder. And then share photos of bodies with your mates.

As a genuine question, would you have got out of the car, have done as the officers asked if one had been female?

Nope.

If I ever get pulled over by the police I'll be locked in too.

Exactly.

many many years ago when i was a young woman in the army, I'd been to the Monsters of Rock festival with my brother (1988 - Iron Maiden). I didn't drink because i was driving. Back then i was stationed in Germany but on a long course in UK, and so i had army plates on my car. So i dropped my brother off at his place and drove back to my folks. they live in Sheffield, and i had to drive along the A57 (Parkway, where the Def Leppard drummer lost his arm). It was a sort of partially 2 lane, partially 1and a half lane stretch of fast road. And it was about 2:30 am on a Saturday night/sunday morning. Taxis were bombing back into town to pick up people from the clubs with full beams, so the best thing if you were on a narrow stretch was to pull over as much as possible and let them past.

So the next bright lights were behind me. So i pulled over and on went the spinner. So i came to a stop, engine still running, windows up and locked the doors. And the cop did the "engine off, get out of the car" routine and i was asking to see his warrant card. So eventually i switched off the engine, and he was being all cocky and bullying and i was swerving around and was i driving my (military) husband's car and what would he say. So i opened the window more and told him about the taxis, that i was in the army and i wanted his collar number because i was going to escalate.

He discovered i had rank, and the switch was amazing. Polite, helpful, agreed about the taxis being dangerous, and that i was right to pull over rather than being tailgated, and then i scolded (literally scolded) him for having his lights too bright and he needs to think about his attitude towards a lone woman in the middle of the night with nobody around. Long and short of it, they followed me back into town to keep the taxis off me.

fuckers

Your unreasonable, I was pulled over recently at 3am and the two male officers asked me to get into the car for the same thing and I done it. I'm 6 stone and young and did not feel threatened. Absolutely absurd behaviour from anyone refusing officers requests when they are in an official car and in uniform. You are very lucky they let you go.

You have every right to phone the HQ with their shoulder numbers to confirm they are on duty or requests a female or superior etc but being suspected of drink driving and trying to drive to a police station is silly. The scare mongering about police is ridiculous (when has the threat to women been done in twos?)