Are you bothered if people do not like you?

[monno]

Some people (me) have this weird way that feels like they want everyone to like them.

If I get a sense that someone doesn't like me, it feels as though I should try harder to relate to them, rather than just letting it be.

I'll waste time thinking about it. Feeling bad that a person may think bad of me.

This could be due to a perception that I'm too loud, too quiet, too nice, too anything

How do you feel if someone doesn't like you (or you get a sense that they don't)?

Does it bother you?

If not, how do you not let it bother you?

I really couldn't care less if people not close to me liked me or not.
I don't go out of my way to encourage people to not like me, but I don't tread on eggshell to avoid

No. Weirdly people like you more when you stop caring

Their problem, not mine! Anyone who takes a dislike to me without a good reason isn't someone whose good opinion I would care about anyway.

It used to bother me a lot. I wanted to be liked.

Once I hit my menopausal years I realised I no longer cared what anyone thinks of me.

It's very liberating.

It doesn't because it is absolutely impossible to be liked by everyone and like everyone.

Think about it. Do you like EVERYONE you meet?

Very much so, and I wish it didn't bother me. Also wish I didn't then try harder to win their good opinion, as it's usually pointless and fruitless and ends up making me feel worse.

No, really don’t care. I was bullied at school and no one liked me and that bothered me a lot as a teenager, but trying to fit in and be liked made me even unhappier because it didn’t work. I then realised it was futile and it was more important to me to be myself. Plus, I don’t like everyone I meet, so it figures some people won’t like me. That’s just life!

No. I don't like everyone and I don't expect everyone to like me.

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, think the older I’ve got the more I don’t care. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you which is out of your control. I, for example, really dislike flakey, wall flower type people. People who bleat and dither whilst some people probably live people
like that.

people often don’t like me because I call a spade a spade and I’m brutally honest whereas lots of people love that about me 🤷🏼‍♀️

To be honest, most people you meet probably don't have that strong an opinion on you either way. Do you have a definitive negative or positive view on most people you come across or just have a (relatively few) you really like, a few you don't care for or clash with, and the rest are 'right enough'? I'm not sure why you think you should be the exception to this?

Personally I don't care if I'm not liked by some. If I've treated people well and I'm not their cup of tea then that's fine. I've no interest in persuading them otherwise. If loads of people seemed to take exception to things I had said or my behaviour then I might reflect on why this may be.

Not really and definitely not on mumsnet ;)

I don't care about most people liking me, only family! I'd prefer people not to like me actually, people are shit and once they think you're friends it doesn't take them long to start taking liberties.

Yes when i was younger but now I'm 41 i understand that i don't like everyone ergo everyone can’t like me. But i do think I'm lovely and generally likeable!

I really really don't care

and I care less each passing decade

I know I am a decent person with a clean conscience

Noone elses opinion matters

Couldn't give a shit. I dislike quite a lot of people - seems unfair to be upset when people do the same! I'm polite and I expect politeness in return, but I don't care beyond that.

Nah, them liking or disliking me has nothing to do with me. That’s their feelings and they can manage them. I’d be bothered if I didn’t like me. I am who I am - I can’t fake it just so some randomer will like me,

Took me about 45 years to realise this!

It's hard. I cared desperately for everyone to like me.

I have had to work very hard to move away from that. Of course, I care sometimes.

But am I being the person I want to be, doing the best I can, taking others into consideration? If yes, then there's nothing else I can do, and try not to worry about people liking me.

Also, if people don't like you, and give you that impression, it's more about them than you (if I don't like people, I'm neutral; I don't let it affect me and I don't treat them differently).

I care a lot which is pathetic really. I am nearly in my 40's as well so that makes it even more pathetic.

Nope. I don't like everyone I meet so I don't expect everyone to like me either.

I do still treat them politely and would expect the same back.

It's not pathetic. 💐

It's understandable but futile. You wanting people to like you won't make it happen.

Know and value yourself - and spend time with people who do the same about you. Don't worry about the others. And accept that it will still feel painful at times, but acknowledge it & move on.

Depends on the reason, and whether I think their good opinion is worth having. If someone disliked me for a good reason, that would upset me. If they disliked me because they could tell I disliked them or didn’t respect them for whatever reason, fine. Integrity sometimes requires that you are friends with everyone.

It is harder as a teenager, especially if you don't fit in - which I didn't.

As an adult, I don't care. As far as work goes, as that's the place where you're forced to be with people whether you like them or not, I'm pleasant to everyone, regardless of my opinion of them - why make work less pleasant for no reason? Even my manager in my old job, who didn't like me, couldn't find anything to criticise me for and just had to give me all the shitty jobs until I left.

I’m really sensitive to feeling rejected/disliked - I’m autistic and awkward, and I can sense that that makes people feel uncomfortable. I’m constantly monitoring my own speech and mannerisms - am I talking too loud, am I talking about myself too much, did I interrupt someone, am I pulling the right facial expressions, am I giving enough eye contact? I find it so hard but at the same time really like people and want to be liked too. I have no real friends, and new people I meet often seem keen to get away from me. I wish I could not care.

I used to be bothered but now, not so much. I’ve got a small group of friends plus DH, mum and MIL and that suits me.

Broadly, I don't care. Sometimes I care if there's someone I like a lot and would like to be friends with but they don't seem to be particularly bothered. But I don't take that personally and accept it's just one of those things.

I probably would care I guess if I was widely disliked. But I work on the assumption I have good friends, lots of perfectly pleasant acquaintances etc so if there are some people who don't like me, so be it.

I am currently having to work quite hard in one situation only becuase if people there don't like me then it will make my life harder. And the truth is that I don't particularly like them and the feeling is mutual but it needs to be dealt with. It's exhausting so I'm glad that's not every day life.