To be thrilled to have an only child?

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Ok so probably just getting this off my chest after reading yet another post saying "I feel sorry for only children." Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but I don't get the strange obsession on here that only children are to be pitied in some way.
We have one child by choice, and it is the right decision for us as a family. That's not a decision that's right for every family, and obviously there are huge potential benefits from sibling relationships.
However there are also massive benefits of being an only, and both my husband and I are also onlys so we know this from experience.
We are able to save an amount each month for DC, have far more financial freedom (we both work part time for instance,) have a lovely stress free life. We also moved to a house on a new build estate very near the school so every weekend it's a non stop procession of kids knocking on asking to play with our DC. In fact we are all ready for a break from all the friends at points!
I've never been asked in real life if I'm having another, nor has any pity for my DC ever been expressed. So it just seems to be an issue on here.
So AIBU to just not get the "pity." And ps if you are one child not by choice due to any reason then PLEASE don't feel guilty as in my opinion there is nothing at all to feel guilty for xx

I’m thrilled with my only child. She’s amazing, and she’s enough, I didn’t need a do-over.

Strange to think of a second child as a do-over...

Most people have another child because they love being a parent and want a bigger family.

My second child is a complete separate other person to my first, there is no doing over.

Fantastic for you. I love being a parent to the child I have and my family didn’t need to be any bigger to be full of love and happiness.

You do know a second child wouldn’t be an identical twin, right?

No, really?!

I didn’t think so, but after reading some comments here made by one child only parents, I do agree. 😂

Yeah really. Nothing like a do-over. Completely different persons.

Ok, great. I didn’t need a different person in my family, it was complete with my one child. Yours wasn’t - good for you having the family you wanted too.

Silly statement, none of my children are do-overs! All wonderful, individual, different beings in their own right. Just like your amazing daughter. Unique.

I think mine are both do-overs.
That's why we got a cat.

WTF???? You really thought that statement was appropriate?

I’m thinking of getting a second cat.

God I hope you don't speak to her like that, she'll grow up to be insufferable.

I hear ya.
I fear my cat might also be a do-over.

So many of these only child threads, and they are very rarely edifying.

We have one, by choice. We don’t make a big thing of it, and I wouldn’t think to brag to anyone on here or irl about how brilliant our life with DD is, but it does get to me that some people seem determined not to allow one-child families to have anything nice. As in, you can list 20 different reasons why you stuck at one and insist until the cows come home that your only is perfectly happy/well-adjusted/good at sharing, and there’ll still be a contingent of posters who insist that you must be cruel/selfish, and that all only children must inevitably be dysfunctional, lonely and selfish.

Mothers who are already financially stretched, burnt out and temperamentally unsuited to parenting multiple DC should suck it up and pop out another one in order to provide a sibling. And whatever the reasons cited for being content with your one - better finances, less stress, more time and resources to invest in the child, parental temperament, or mental and physical wellbeing - they are dismissed as unimportant or superficial (‘selfish’, again). And it still seems weirdly acceptable to air these views, in a way that it wouldn’t be for any other family size or make-up.

I just wish people would accept that there are pros and cons to any situation in life, and agree to live and let live.

I have an only, and after an ectopic and two miscarriages I'm starting to accept he will stay an only.

I worry and I'm grieving. I wish people wouldn't be so judgemental.

People don't have an issue with one child families. It's only when they start sounding smug and all the reasons they give is really for the parent's benefit rather than the child that it gets annoying.

Like when they say that they can have loads of great holidays to random destinations but for the child, there isn't anyone else their age they can talk to or if they do make friends they will never see them again or that the entire itinerary of the trip is stuff that the parents rather than the child wants to do, then the child may rather stay at home seeing friends than being dragged around all these places.

Yes. I know more than one person who, for whatever reason, wanted another go at the experience of pregnancy, or childbirth, or breastfeeding, or the newborn days, or whatever after it had not gone well the first time - and that was a factor in their decision to have a second/third/more child.

Telling a child they’re enough? My child knows she’s loved, she’s enough and that I think she’s wonderful. If your children don’t know that you feel that way about them, I feel sorry for them.

Love these threads. It's so interesting to see different points of view.
I have an only, through 50/50 choice/circumstances . She's 5. She's really sociable, seems happy and after a year of asking me on and off for a sibling, she says she doesn't want one and wants a playroom in the house for her and her friends instead! 🤣
It depends on many factors though. My father is an only but my grandma was the type who didn't play and never allowed other children in the house. I have one brother but my parents used to avoid all child friendly activities and take us on very boring walking holidays...no sleepovers or friends for tea allowed etc.
With my DD I'm always happy to try and make friends with other parents and arrange playdates. I'm pretty sure DD isn't lonely at all. Obviously this might change, but I love just having 1.
It's interesting to see people who say 2 is easier than 1 as they play together so the parents get peace and quiet.
Playing with DD has never been an issue. I've lots of energy and like a big kid myself so am happy to play and dance with her. The part I didn't want to go through again was pregnancy, post partum psychosis and loosing myself for 3 years.
Each to their own.

I am still laughing at the do-over comment. Batshit!

Yeah, must be because I’m one of 4.

People don't have an issue with one child families. It's only when they start sounding smug and all the reasons they give are really for the parent's benefit rather than the child that it gets annoying

So let me get this right - we have to suck up all the ‘lonely only’ comments and listen to people waxing lyrical about how they’re ‘so glad we gave DS/DD the gift of a sibling’, but we’re not allowed to state what we consider to be the positives of only having one?

We need to get over the whole ‘anything that’s done for the benefit of the parent is cruel’ mindset. We could have had another child, but we didn’t want one. As well as all the ‘superficial’ reasons like time and resources etc (which are pretty bloody sensible considerations IMO), having a second child would have likely wrecked my body (I have large fibroids so any further pregnancy would have been risky), didn’t want to roll the dice again because we are older parents who know several similar families where the 2nd child has profound special needs, and are both temperamentally unsuited to the chaos, noise and reduced focus of multiple DC. Are all of those reasons ‘selfish’ because they benefit mainly us as parents?

That makes it even worse!!!! Were your siblings do-overs?

So let me get this right - we have to suck up all the ‘lonely only’ comments and listen to people waxing lyrical about how they’re ‘so glad we gave DS/DD the gift of a sibling’, but we’re not allowed to state what we consider to be the positives of only having one?

Yes, infertility is the only permitted reason to have one child.