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AIBU?

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Original poster

Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

801 replies

SpringIsSpringing23 · 02/03/2023 07:33

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 02/03/2023 07:37

He should have been paying attention but it’s likely he probably had his phone on him for a reason. Most shops don’t allow staff to keep a hold of their phones.
Yes he should have at least told you the total and I understand it’s annoying but I don’t think I’d have spoken to a young guy in a firm manner. I’d probably pass him off as rude and just leave it.

Original poster
SpringIsSpringing23 · 02/03/2023 07:39

They've all got their phones on them these days. No supposed to, no, but they do.

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 02/03/2023 07:39

Yadbu poor lad.

PortiasBiscuit · 02/03/2023 07:40

He may have been stressed about something else, or he may just be a bad Tesco employee. You’ll never know, but calling him out on his behaviour may well make him think, take a look at himself and be better.
You may be the turning point in his whole life, in thirty years he’ll be on TV thanking the woman that called him out and made him pull his socks up.
Honestly try not overthink this, he was being a dick and you pointed it out. I cannot imagine Tesco actually allow them to use their phones on the till, you probably did him a favour.

edenhills · 02/03/2023 07:40

I imagine something else was happening in his life and he wasn't having a good day. You made things worse.

Veryverycalmnow · 02/03/2023 07:40

We never know what others are going through so best to give people the benefit of the doubt, but he also needs to be able to serve customers to do his job properly.
Was he crying because if you or already crying about something?

WinginItBadly · 02/03/2023 07:41

Poor customer service. Yanbu.

Bekindbekind · 02/03/2023 07:42

edenhills · 02/03/2023 07:40

I imagine something else was happening in his life and he wasn't having a good day. You made things worse.

Well, she didn’t know that until it was too late. I don’t see that the OP did anything wrong with the information that she had. Once she twigged that something else was going wrong, she apologised and tried to help.

Motheranddaughter · 02/03/2023 07:42

Oh dear,poor lad
I think you were totally out of order,and a bully

PortiasBiscuit · 02/03/2023 07:43

edenhills · 02/03/2023 07:40

I imagine something else was happening in his life and he wasn't having a good day. You made things worse.

Oh fuck off with this, it’s fine to expect decent customer service, you should not be made to feel guilty when you politely point out that you’re not getting it.

Lambchop1 · 02/03/2023 07:43

You are not unreasonable, you just called out rude behaviour. If he got upset he won’t do it again. If we can’t call our poor behaviour in case someone gets upset we will be all be living in hell.

coodawoodashooda · 02/03/2023 07:44

PortiasBiscuit · 02/03/2023 07:40

He may have been stressed about something else, or he may just be a bad Tesco employee. You’ll never know, but calling him out on his behaviour may well make him think, take a look at himself and be better.
You may be the turning point in his whole life, in thirty years he’ll be on TV thanking the woman that called him out and made him pull his socks up.
Honestly try not overthink this, he was being a dick and you pointed it out. I cannot imagine Tesco actually allow them to use their phones on the till, you probably did him a favour.

He got it wrong. Maybe you did too. Depends on all of the 'whys' you'll never know. Don't worry. His parents will likely be blessed he got a reminder about manners from someone other than them.

Bigpinktrain · 02/03/2023 07:45

Yes it was unreasonable- you don’t know what he is going through, could be a very awful reason why he is was texting, and even if there wasn’t a good reason, what have you achieved here? You made someone cry and you feel awful. It’s a really negative way to act.
If you were friendlier he would have taken more good out of that experience.

CandyflossKid · 02/03/2023 07:45

My son used to work in Tesco - they all have the Tesco app so if someone asks, for example, where a certain item is, they are able to tell the customer which aisle it is or whether they have any stock that hasn't yet been delivered to the shop floor.
It will have other Tesco employee info on too. Can't imagine that he'd be playing a game on his phone while on the checkout as it will be on cctv (although I could be wrong)

TrishM80 · 02/03/2023 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sizeofahippo · 02/03/2023 07:47

He doesn't have to make conversation but he definitely shouldn't have been looking at his phone when serving you or biting his nails or putting his hands in his mouth.
You were a bit aggressive about the asking for the amount, seems over the top to me.
If you have his name I would complain about the phone/nails though. Maybe staff are allowed to check phones when it's quiet and in their downtime

RaininSummer · 02/03/2023 07:47

You weren't wrong to mention the phone and fingers in mouth and obviously didn't know he was on the edge. I actually can't remember the last time I was told the total to pay. I wonder if that is because I always pay by card and it's on the screen.

holygerbil · 02/03/2023 07:47

My first ever checkout job as a only just 16 year old, in my first week a customer phoned in to complain that instead of talking to him at the till I'd been chatting with the packer (a boy who went to my school, was in the year above and spent the whole time flirting with anyone he could so it's wasn't exactly a two way conversation). As a result of the complaint I was moved into the back office to do price control/stock counting.

At the time I was SO upset. And I still think the customer was a tosser. But looking back it was a valuable lesson about customer service.

Plus the price control role payed more so 🤷‍♀️

holygerbil · 02/03/2023 07:47

holygerbil · 02/03/2023 07:47

My first ever checkout job as a only just 16 year old, in my first week a customer phoned in to complain that instead of talking to him at the till I'd been chatting with the packer (a boy who went to my school, was in the year above and spent the whole time flirting with anyone he could so it's wasn't exactly a two way conversation). As a result of the complaint I was moved into the back office to do price control/stock counting.

At the time I was SO upset. And I still think the customer was a tosser. But looking back it was a valuable lesson about customer service.

Plus the price control role payed more so 🤷‍♀️

*paid

MissMaple82 · 02/03/2023 07:48

Hes 18 ffs yes you were wrong! Poor lad

pennylanestrawberries · 02/03/2023 07:48

Would you still have said it if he’d behaved exactly the same but was 48 instead of 18?

TrashyPanda · 02/03/2023 07:49

His job is to serve customers and take payment. courteously.

he was rude. More concerned by his phone than the job he is being paid to do.

that’s totally on him. He’s front line staff and is giving a very bad impression of the company.

Littlefaeries · 02/03/2023 07:49

Someone had a go at me once at work for looking at my phone.
My dil had been rushed into hospital at 24 weeks pregnant in early labour and I’d been given permission to keep my phone with me that day.
Normally my phone was in my locker.

I was upset too. And as you can see 11 years later it still smarts.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 02/03/2023 07:50

YANBU to think he was rude but I would have just paid and left without making a point.

wideclosedspaces · 02/03/2023 07:50

edenhills · 02/03/2023 07:40

I imagine something else was happening in his life and he wasn't having a good day. You made things worse.

This. You never know what’s going on in someone else’s life and if you are already at rock bottom someone being arsey to you like this can really tip you over the edge.

Its why you should really try to refrain from throwing around petty arsiness like this.

There are pleasant ways to get messages like yours across, I’ve received them myself as a youth, but you sounded like you were on a mini scolding power trip. You’d judged and condemned him in your mind and you wanted him to know it.