Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

This.
And I worked my way through some crippling grief. If he's not up to it he shouldn't have been on the tills.
It's a management failing rather than his own.
You were fine, he was not doing his job correctly, if he has stuff going on he shouldn't be customer facing.

GTF with the "Karen" crap

MissMaple82 · Today 07:55

Ffs you actually think that happens from management!!

??? What do you mean by that?

Once again, 18 year old haven't even developed the skills to communicate thst they are struggling!

18 year olds aren't toddlers.

Oh for goodness sake! If he had something going on, he should have asked for a break, or to go home.
Lmao, you can tell the people who’ve never had to work a shitty soul destroying job before. It’s great you’ve never had a manager who refuses these thing. If you’ve never been in a position where leaving and not getting paid would affect you.

Honestly I feel dreadful for upsetting him and I'm wondering whether to go back in same time next week with some chocolate and either speak to him or pass to security guard (don't want to involve anybody else).

Hes 18 ffs yes you were wrong! Poor lad

If he's old enough to do a paid job he's old enough to do it properly.

Yes me too. I don't expect shop workers to act like I'm bloody royalty. It is a crap job and I am shopping with a company that I know screws over their suppliers and their staff. Plus I know that large numbers of the working age population have got serious issues outside work going on.

I would complain if I went somewhere expensive/luxury and didn't get a good service. I would never make personal remarks to someone like the OP did.

You never know what someone has going on in their life, he could have been waiting for a call for someone that was on the end of life. He may have been on the spectrum and it was his first day on the job. He may have broken up with his girlfriend and not wanting to be there but nobody else to cover. Yes it wasn't ideal but there is obviously something going on if he was crying.

What kind of management has that store got allowing people who are working to be pissing about on their phones ?

Then you have been badly brought up too.

The correct course is to behave politely, and politely complain.

People who make personal remarks to others have no manners.

It was after I spoke to him that he started crying. Like he cried because he was embarrassed I'd spoken to him

Sounds like big-standard shit customer service to me. He couldn't take being told off so he cried.

Or

He was having a bad day and that's not representative of him.

Either way, you weren't U for mentioning his behaviour in the way you did. If he had a genuine reason to be upset then he shouldn't have been at work.

You were not unreasonable. If he was in such a state with an issue, being stressed etc, that he wasn't able to do his job, he shouldn't have been working.

He was probably just crying because he'd been told his behaviour was unacceptable.
Another example of the snowflake generation imo.

I work for Tesco and we ARE allowed our phones on the shop floor as we have an app that tells us stock quantities/locations.
You were slightly harsh with him, you don't know what he's going through but at the same time he shouldn't be on his phone unless it's for work reasons.

RichardHeed · Today 07:59

Lmao, you can tell the people who’ve never had to work a shitty soul destroying job before.

You've got no idea what shitty jobs I've had.

Perhaps he has no option! Just because you have managed it doesn't mean others can.

YANBU

And it better to hear from you direct - someone else will be going to his manger ( which will avoid any upset ) but could get the lad in real trouble

I think the issue here is that you probably said things and adopted a tone that you wouldn't have done with an older person.

Although your points were valid you spoke to him like a child and you also broke the staff-customer normal etiquette.

It's also true that we never know what other people are going through.

Why did you need to express your irritation like this? Had you had a bad day?

Others constantly frustrate and disappoint us but telling them this directly, especially when they are strangers, isn't terribly helpful.

Why then rat him out to the security guard? Because although you say your kindness motivated you to do this you've potentially caused him more trouble.

Try and go through life peacefully and causing less confrontation and drama.

Poor lad. Hope he's ok. Sounds like might have had some bad news or something.

Would you have spoken to an older person like that?

I don’t think anything he did deserved a public dressing down. The fact you could see the amount to pay but still brought it up with him is petty on your part. Agree with others he probably had something else going on. Perhaps you might think twice in future and save complaints for instances where you have actually been inconvenienced.

I work in a medical professional treating patients. I've been at work while waiting to hear about a parent who was dying. When being broken up with. I still had to remain professional. Because people were paying for my service and they would quite rightly not be happy if I was distracted and on my phone. That's called professional life.

@SpringIsSpringing23 yanbu, I'd be a little annoyed if someone was handling my shopping with fingers that had just been in their mouth.
I'd also expect some sort of customer service.

Some posters have said, you made things worse for the lad, but the reality is, there was no way of knowing what was going on, other than a staff member not carrying out their duties as expected.

I wouldn't give it a second thought, you apologised and made sure he was ok, that's far more than a lot of people would do.

Totally not the point of this thread but- I do think, the generations to come, are a lot softer so to say, it's. They've been spoon fed and had their hands held far more than generations gone.

Tesco staff on the tills are trained to be friendly with customers and ask them how their day had been. Perhaps he was new and covering the till due to short staffing and hadn't received the training.

Hopefully you have learned your lesson that making personal remarks can upset people. I was taught that in early primary school but it is never too late to learn it.

The correct course was for you to be polite and complain if you felt it justified.

Just regarding this...when I worked at sainsburys pre pandemic (and went back briefly in 2021 after maternity leave) they allowed phones on the shop floor....because they wanted staff to use a stock check app via their phones for customers on the shop floor. I worked tills/customer service but had it because if I was running checkouts I would always get customers ask me if we had x/y/z. So maybe tesco do that too hence why he had his phone on him.....