Upset a staff member in tesco.. feel bad now but was I wrong?

[SpringIsSpringing23]

Last night I popped into tesco. At the checkout, the young lad (can't have been more than 18) was looking at his phone, didn't speak to me, kept chewing his nails and sticking his fingers in his mouth.

When it came to pay he didn't tell me how much. I was getting irritated at this point and just stood there until he looked up and I said you've not told me how much (obviously I could see on the screen). I said "you're too busy playing on your phone, and it's not hygienic to be chewing your nails when you're going to be handling food". I didn't have a go but said it in a firm manner.

He went bright red, muttered sorry and didn't give any eye contact the rest of the transaction. I then realised he had tears running down his face. I said I'm sorry, is everything OK? He ignored me so as I left I explained to the security guard (nobody else around) what happened and he said he'd go talk to him.

I feel absolutely awful that I've upset somebody... but was I wrong to have said something to him?

If you have a problem with an employee you speak to their manager. People shouldn't be expected to deal with random people scolding them when they're doing their job. Imagine how you would feel OP. FFS.

I can definitely see your point but maybe he had a hidden disability or something else going on. I think you could have asked him how much without the tone maybe. To be honest most check out workers are the same lately and always talking to till behind so I use the self service.

He is a young lad, I would imagine something traumatic to him was happening - girlfriend or boyfriend fuming him or such like and at that age it feels like the world is ending.

I absolutely would go back and see him with chocolates I think it will make his day.

I don't think you were BU. If you're working then you need to be professional. And checking your phone and chewing your fingers doesn't cut it.

If there was something so wrong to warrant the crying then he shouldn't have been at work.

I used to work in M&S and the customer service expectations were really strict. It annoys me now that they've been dumbed down. Speaking to a customer and acknowledging them is not too much too ask.

The amount to pay is usually on the screen. Why didn’t you see it ?
If you had a go at him for the sake of it because you felt you weren’t getting“service” then yabu.
A more light hearted approach would have been more appropriate.He obviously has some sort of issue on the go.
It might have been his first day on the job and he was stressed.
We all have first days.

He needed telling. Dirty little beast.

Like I said you don't know what someone has going on in their life, you made him cry, probably the straw that broke the camels back! Perhaps he's had twats in speaking to him like a piece of shit all day.

We are allowed our phones to check stock message managers

I can't get over these responses an 18 year old is still cooking hasn't learnt how to develop skills of communication

We as a society have failed if this is true.

She said she could see it she was just being a twat.

I don't think you did anything wrong.

You weren't verbally abusive, you pointed out that you were unhappy with the way he served you. I think it's better to do that than complain to a manager. He'd have surely got in more trouble if you'd done that.

How is an 'only 18' year old ever meant to learn if everyone pussy foots around them because of their age? I have kids the same age and I would have no problem with someone interacting with them like this if their behaviour had been as op described.

They all have their phones so they can look up which aisle food are in when customers ask.

I imagine you were a lot harsher than you thought OP and quite possibly he has something going on and that was the final straw.

I agree - the comments OP made (if as reported) were reasonable and justified.

It's not really up to you to call him up on his conduct at work. If you received bad customer service ask to speak to a manager or supervisor and let them deal with it. It's what they're paid to do.

@SpringIsSpringing23

That’s a lovely gesture op 💐

The comments were ill-mannered.

There are too many people with bad manners who think they are 'justified'.

I was taught not to make personal remarks about other people, this is basic manners.

He's probably never been pulled up on anything before, honestly it's not like you were aggressive or getting personal, no wonder young people have poor resilience nowadays everyone is too scared to hurt their feels ffs.

I don't think you were wrong to say something, but you should have been kinder with what you said. You knew the amount, so why demand that he tell you? Would you have spoken the same way to an older person who didn't tell you the cost, or was there some power play involved?

All the checkout staff in our local stores Tesco have their phones, they use them to get a price check via the app if something doesn't scan. There's no one available to go running round the store checking a price for them if they hit the call button.

As adults we can often come across harsher than we imagine to young people.

You were petty, it wasn't your job to teach him manners and you didn't lose out on anything. You got your shopping. There was no need to ask how much you had to pay, it's there right in front of you. I can't remember the last time the amount was announced to me.

@SpringIsSpringing23

I had a checkout person that was rolling his eyes and tutting at the elderly couple in front of me one time because they were slow and then couldn't remember their PIN number.

He was very very stroppy and was making the lady more nervous because of his attitude.

When it was my turn I looked him in the eye and politely asked him why he had such an attitude with the previous people

He stumbled and didn't know what to say.
I explained that one day that will be hun or indeed could be his grandparents and that a bit of patience and life skills will teach him a lot.

He was clearly embarrassed but I was t rude.

If they are 18 they are in the adult world and need to learn manners. There's too many adults that are sheltered

I would have asked if everything was ok as he was distracted on his phone and see what response I'd have got.

My daughter used to work at Tesco and a similar thing happened to her. She called me that night to say she had been shouted at, she explained to me that it wasn't her phone (she wouldn't be allowed it at work anyway) but rather a device to keep track of incoming/outgoing parcels that they have to keep checking albeit she said it does look like a phone. I asked her why she didn't just explain that and she said there was no point as the woman was clearly in a foul mood anyway.

Hmm I dunno. On one level I would find that hugely irritating and there are a lot of useless shop staff these days, but I probably wouldn’t have said anything.

on the other hand I have a 16 year old who has a part time job for minimum wage and gets talked to by some people like utter shit which is an unacceptable way to talk to a young boy earning less than a fiver an hour to make them a sandwich

I think it's a lot better to give minor criticism to someone's face than escalating straight to a supervisor. Give them chance to rectify it.

Yanbu x