Can anyone give me advice on how to get a child back after Social services put them in Foster Care

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My family member has lost their child.
Raging drug addiction after a very traumatic life.

It's a long road to recovery and they haven't stopped taking drugs cold turkey. Certainly the drug use has reduced significantly but not completely. I suspect they have hot rock bottom there was a case of 'what's the point?' in the beginning when child was first taken.

I don't think the parents are receiving any support (which is fair enough, they are adults and the child comes first) but they hit rock bottom and I was angry with them for a long time, withdrew contact (not completely) and blamed them for ruining their children's lives (2 children one is old enough to have moved out rather than go into care)

Now the dust has settled, I want to support the parents to at least try to get the child back (I don't know if it's even possible but for the child's sake we should do all we can do)
I feel really bad for being angry when they were clearly hurting and needed support.

Is there anything concrete to help them?
I'm thinking parenting classes and some sort of alcoholics anonymous but for drug addiction. Can't afford rehab but there must be other things to help.

Social services have been great with regards to the child but there has been no interest in helping the parents back on their feet,
what can I do to help?

• I am not trying to put a plaster over the situation, but we have had quite a few suicides in our family (hence the drug use as coping mechanism) and I am so, so worried that if they lose the child forever, possibly to be adopted or fostered long term they would do something stupid. or even overdose. This is only a blip in a normal life, brought on by bereavement. -

If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

i get what your saying regarding the need for the child to be safe. but addiction isnt in the end,down to the person choosig the drugs over the children. who would do that.what kind of person? they wouldnt. they dont.its never ever that simple

You can do a lot to support the children by being involved in their lives, even if they are in care, and that can make a huge difference. A family member that visits regularly, takes an interest in their lives, always remembers birthdays, is in touch to say 'good luck' when they have an exam or test - just knowing that there is someone outside the system who cares enough about them to consistently be there.

Even more so once they leave care, that relationship can be an anchor.

Tbh I think that would be a more constructive use of your care, time and energy. Of course encourage the parent(s) to make the changes they need to, for their own sakes. But separate that from whether the child(ren) do or don't ever return to their care, and focus on making the current set up as good as possible for everyone.

Or continuing to live in a house share or bedsit - there's nothing inherently wrong with that, many of us have! - but provide a welcoming family home to visit regularly, spend a few days, come for a family lunch or just a chat, bring their laundry, and generally be available in the way parents usually are when a young person leaves home.

Living together has its own challenges and strains!

OP you sound like you’re being really reflective and motivated in this situation, don’t beat yourself up now for how you responded at first because these events are like a bomb going off in a whole family and it’s complicated.

I am going to respond briefly as I am going on the school run for now. I’m a social worker in child protection services but in Ireland, not UK and my understanding is that in the UK timeframes for change and long term decisions are a lot tighter.

My initial thought on reading this was “get those kids out of care first”. Did the social workers ask anyone in the family to take over their care? They will be so much better off with family or friends that in state care, are you in a position to offer to care for them? Or someone else who knows them and cares about them?

Addiction is really hard and usually a response to trauma. Therapy, regular addiction counselling, maybe rehab to begin with etc however I would say that if parents have addiction that led to neglect they will always need support around their parenting and a network of people supporting them and their children from their family and community.

Another factor I’m wondering about is whether the children received good enough care when their parents were sober? Are they able to meet their needs when they aren’t using drugs or are there other vulnerabilities around their mental health, any domestic violence etc.

Khant anyone hellp me with me son taking back from foster care last 2 weeks I'm hawe court order and that taking me son from foster care solicitors close case with me I khant hawe appell for that how long I'm weit for taking me son back

Speak to your children's social worker, they will be able to tell you what needs to change for your children's care order to end.

@Micinka No one on here can tell you that. You need to work with your child's social worker as the previous poster said. There will be meetings with lots of professional as well as you where a plan will be made and you will be told what you need to do in order to resume care of your child. A solicitor can't really help you with this.

@Micinka You also might be better to start your own thread to discuss the issues you are having.

Hi my kids were taken of me a year ago and I was told that they will not be allowed to come home till they are 18 I need advice on wat to expect they said that they were in danger we have done everything that the ss wanted

Sorry to hear that. I think you’re best off starting a new thread as people will miss your post here and look at the op instead.

The fact they might overdose if their kids are taken to a foster home is exactly the reason why they sadly shouldn't be caring for the child at this time. They need to be clean of drugs fully, and doing regular tests to prove it.
You can support the parents by encouraging them into therapy, rehab, NA etc. Abstinence is hard and not a one way road, they will relapse.
But right now you should not be trying to stop the social from trying to make sure the kids are in a drug free environment.
I hope they can get well and keep contact with the kids, maybe even get them back at some point. Be supportive from afar to them.

Zombie thread.

@mixedrecycling I agree with your reply, well meaning as the post was. I don't think OP should start offering to house the older one. It's a big whole other level of involvement and could end in tears.

>I want to support the parents to at least try to get the child back (I don't know if it's even possible but for the child's sake we should do all we can do)
If you're acting 'for the child's sake' is returning them to parents who are still abusing substances actually in the child's best interests or are you only thinking of what the parents want?

Oh ffs!

Speaking as someone who is in recovery from addiction, ultimately the decision to start the road to recovery has to come from within yourself. You can offer all the help, support, rewards and signposting in the world but if the person isn't truly ready to tackle the addiction themselves it's pointless.

Forget getting the child back for now, they're safe. If you really want to help your family member offer to go with them to a first appointment at NA/AA/GP and local substance misuse recovery service. Then let the professionals take over. If the family member really wants it, they can go to the appointments themselves the next time.

I have just read your post and I have been though the same I don't k ow what to do I went to rehab with my new born I come back after a week they took my boy I brought my boy up without drugs and it's the best life I've had I've done drugs all my life now they have took my baby for not communicating I'm doing drugs to cope with the pain

@FunnyPlayer
This is meant kindly, you have little to no chance of getting your child back whilst you are on drugs
Get back to rehab, do it properly, ditch any dodgy boyfriends, get clean and work with the social workers