Page 6 | To ask for tips from mothers?

Billydaffodil · 27/02/2023 21:33

Also check for 'CMPA' if baby screams a lot. ("Cows Milk Protein Allergy" - after all they aren't baby cows!).

Don't worry if you don't feel a rush of love when they're born. I just felt "Blimey, it's a baby!" And fell in love with all of mine slowly over the following weeks.

Nina9870 · 27/02/2023 21:52

If you’re lucky enough to have a supportive family who want to look after the baby- it’s hard at first, but let them.
my mum and MIL are like my daughters second mums, they stay over all the time and I don’t need to give it a second thought and worry if they’re ok. Makes nights out
/ little breaks sooooo much easier!

maybein2022 · 27/02/2023 21:54

Don’t listen to the opinions of people you wouldn’t go to for advice.

Calphurnia88 · 27/02/2023 21:56

3 months old is generally the best your baby will sleep for the entire first year. Most people don’t know that!

This. Me and DP were quietly smug about DS's sleep at 3mo - it was a good job because it all went downhill at 4mo and has only just got better at 11mo.

Fully aware it can go downhill again!

Amy8 · 27/02/2023 21:56

AlmostaMamma · 27/02/2023 15:52

I’m pregnant with our first and super excited. Also slightly terrified. All the feels. 😊

To all the mums on here, I’d love to know - what’s the one piece of solid gold advice you wish someone had given you when you were expecting your first baby? It might be something about giving birth, a seemingly inane life tip, or a life changing realisation you’ve had since becoming a mum, but please share.

The every second worrying will change but never stop

Your body is amazing

Don't buy Uber expensive baby clothes in white - waste of money

maybein2022 · 27/02/2023 21:56

Oh and it’s ok not to enjoy every minute (or even every day!) Take lots and lots of photos. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like you must be friends with everyone else you meet with babies. Some people will not be for you, and that’s ok. Have a changing mat upstairs and downstairs!

ShinyHappyTits · 27/02/2023 21:57

Pp are right, you don’t need 90% of the gadgets that are shilled on you BUT! The one thing I wish I’d got is a nursing chair. You will grow to truly hate your sofa after months of breastfeeding.

You might not bond with bub at first and it’s totally fine. It comes. Enjoy your baby 💐

maddy68 · 27/02/2023 21:58

I wish someone had told me that you don't have to do everything 'right'. Theories change over time and go in a circle. Do what you feel right. Not what a book or a midwife tells you . Instinct is everything. This is your baby and you know best

emptythelitterbox · 27/02/2023 22:00

Grandma here.

Don't feel you must breast feed.

I tried with first and stopped after a month. Then bottle fed going forward and also with my 2nd.

DD ebf her 3 and it worked great for her

They're all healthy and happy.

If dad isn't pulling his weight now with the care of the household, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc. get him sorted on expectations now as in he needs to do these things now.

I can't count all the women I've known who came home from hospital to a dirty house, empty cupboards, and was expected to cook a meal.
Don't do that to yourself.

Best advice enjoy and cuddle!

chronictonic · 27/02/2023 22:02

SingingSands · 27/02/2023 21:16

"Get in the photos"

Even if you're tired, or haven't washed your hair or don't like how you look. It doesn't matter - one day you'll be glad to have them to look back on.

Congratulations 🎉

THIS. I only have 1 photo of me and my DD from birth til about 10 months.. and I'm on an operating table high as kite and my DH is the one holding her!

chronictonic · 27/02/2023 22:10

Thepossibility · 27/02/2023 20:19

Raspberry leaf tea in pregnancy.
I was recommended this with my first and it gave me quicker labour for sure. My middle son should have been a c-section but I still managed to push him out.
Ice condoms for after birth.
Just continuously putting them on the boob whenever they fussed.
It made a happy bub and a happy mum with plenty of milk.

I also drank raspberry tea in pregnancy.. and spent 2 months constantly putting my baby on the boob anytime she fussed.

Never progressed past 7cm dilation and she nearly ended up back in hospital due to losing weight..

I think raspberry tea can help.. but I think it's more down to luck! Like a LOT of things conception, pregnancy & baby.

Which is my tip OP - a lot of it is all down to luck. Relinquish control, you can't control outcomes or make things happen.
Prepare yourself, yes, but be prepared for your preparations to be ineffective!

ViktoriaPlzen · 27/02/2023 22:12

Ignore people who tell you to “cherish every moment”. Nobody cherishes cleaning up shit, or being vomited on.

Don’t bother with baby classes while they’re really tiny. All that happens is baby sleeps through it and you’re sitting on the floor singing Wind The Bobbin Up feeling like a right tit. Wait until they’re sitting and can grab toys, you’ll get much more out of it.

Put together a kit of infacol, Metanium cream (the one yellow in the yellow tube), baby Vicks, calpol and nurofen. This is the stuff you will need when your baby is unsettled at 2am and all the shops are closed.

Once you think you’ve cracked it, something else will go to shit. About 4 months in, you’ll have found your feet and routine. Baby will then start teething and fuck it all up.

LittleMG · 27/02/2023 22:24

When you’re in hospital having the baby make sure you are heard. Make sure if you have a gut feeling they the staff on it somehow. I really wish I had been more assertive at my sons birth. Congratulations and good luck!

Original poster

AlmostaMamma · 27/02/2023 23:20

MissingGrandstand · 27/02/2023 21:22

Buy puppy pads from pets at home (cheaper than home bargains) and use these for changes and under cot sheets so you aren't constantly cleaning.

PND doesn't just hit immediately after birth. I was fine for 9 months post birth then couldn't understand why I suddenly felt like a total failure. Hint: it was PND.

Postnatal bleeding in the first week is not like a period. Raise any concerns with your health visitor (who should be asking about your welfare as well as your baby), but be prepared to hear "oh the old golf ball comparison is irrelevant, we say not to worry about anything smaller than a baseball nowadays."

As @Thelnebriati said, sorry to lower the tone 😂

"oh the old golf ball comparison is irrelevant, we say not to worry about anything smaller than a baseball nowadays."

I’m sorry to be so dim, but could you explain this, please?!

OP posts:

Original poster

AlmostaMamma · 27/02/2023 23:20

Thepossibility · 27/02/2023 20:19

Raspberry leaf tea in pregnancy.
I was recommended this with my first and it gave me quicker labour for sure. My middle son should have been a c-section but I still managed to push him out.
Ice condoms for after birth.
Just continuously putting them on the boob whenever they fussed.
It made a happy bub and a happy mum with plenty of milk.

Sorry, but what’s an ice condom and what do I do with it?!

OP posts:

Original poster

AlmostaMamma · 27/02/2023 23:21

These are all fantastic tips. Thank you SO MUCH, everyone!

OP posts:

JenniferL27 · 27/02/2023 23:38

I bought a peri bottle just in case and it was amazing! One of the best things I've ever bought.

mrsmacmc · 27/02/2023 23:38

OP thank you for starting this thread, FTM to be here too and it's been amazing to stop the 🌀 in my 🧠

Wishing you a happy pregnancy ❤️

JenniferL27 · 27/02/2023 23:41

SingingSands · 27/02/2023 21:16

"Get in the photos"

Even if you're tired, or haven't washed your hair or don't like how you look. It doesn't matter - one day you'll be glad to have them to look back on.

Congratulations 🎉

This! I wish I had more from the early days.

Veryverycalmnow · 27/02/2023 23:52

Things will change quite quickly so when you're in the middle of a difficult sleep/ food/ poo etc phase you need to keep in mind, it is not usually for long.

Mybumlooksbig · 28/02/2023 00:12

Get out the house once a day with baby/toddler/child even if it's just a walk to the corner shop, you'll all feel better for it

NotMyFinestMoment · 28/02/2023 00:15

Take the opportunity to sleep whenever the chance is there; i.e. say if baby is napping, rather than worry about cleaning, etc.

Someone further up has said it already but don't be the default parent. Make the father step up and do his share of the night feeds, or the late evening or early morning ones so you can get to bed and sleep a couple of hours earlier or later (if you can get him to do an early feed).

If you give baby a dummy, make sure you have several in stock, lol. (and nappies and baby wipes!)

If you can afford it, get a cleaner in once or twice a week.

Namechanger355 · 28/02/2023 00:19

AlmostaMamma · 27/02/2023 23:20

"oh the old golf ball comparison is irrelevant, we say not to worry about anything smaller than a baseball nowadays."

I’m sorry to be so dim, but could you explain this, please?!

Show quote history

I assume pp is talking about clots

as she says postnatal bleeding is not like a period…

SleepingStandingUp · 28/02/2023 00:20

Tm don't tell anyone the name until they're staring into the eyes of your child. It's harder to laugh at Humphrey when Humphrey is there.

Make him do a fair share from day 1.

Rosio · 28/02/2023 00:40

Take videos as well as photos!! when I look back I love the videos most of all. Them snoring/trying to crawl/laughing/smiling etc video it all. Even family moments, video them, when your DP is holding the baby or baby is asleep on him. Make sure he gets on board and does the same for you