School Mum CF

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

Bit of a long one, will do TL,DR at bottom

Back story - don't want to drip feed
When my DS was in reception his best friends parents split up, dad was cheating and left mum with no cash and struggling to pay bills

So I sort of took her under my wing and helped where I could, I didn't have a lot but was happy to help. This including passing on my DS clothes when he outgrew them as he is taller than her DS - I had sold them before then as he grows so fast they barely get worn and it helps go towards the next size up

That was 4 and half years ago and a lot has changed. She is no longer struggling, weekly hair and nail appointments, her DS always seems to have the latest toy and the Prime drinks etc and is always bragging to my DS. They are ok with each other but I wouldn't say friends, and definitely not best friends anymore

So on to the CFness -
She still asks me for the clothes 🫤 I just stopped offering them but she started asking and I felt awkward saying "no, you can afford to buy them now" as looks can be deceiving etc and she must still be struggling a bit and just putting up appearances

The longer it's gone on the more I've tried to get away from it, by delaying getting back to her, saying I've not got anything at the moment etc but she keeps on and on at me

The real CF part
Our kids have been off this week, rather than last week like most, and there was a party today. Her DS wasn't invited so didn't see them there, but I did see another classmate wearing one of my DSs jumpers! Definitely his because my clever DG made it for him and she'd done the pattern herself

So I asked the child's DM "I love Xs jumper, where did you get it?" Only to be told "oh, well I shouldn't really be telling you this, don't want you getting in first 😂 but I bought it from CF. I've barely needed to buy anything else for years, I just buy the bags of clothes from her when she's got them" I was just stunned and didn't speak, so she carried on and said "I've just got 2 big asda bags full before we broke up, and DS loves that jumper, he's barely taken it off all week"

So now I know why CF has been hounding me for clothes, but I don't know how long it's been going on, the mum just said years and I didn't want to bring her into it so didn't ask how long or how much £ or anything

Now I need to work out what to do, I'm not looking forward to seeing CF at the school gates tomorrow. Any advice welcome, I'm currently circling through emotions/feelings and going from thinking I'll have a quiet word, to saying nothing, to kicking off and asking for the money

TL, DR - just found out CF school mum has been asking for bags of my DS clothes and then selling them on to another school mum behind my back for years and telling her not to tell anyone

No, she didn’t lie either.

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks are you the CF!?

Nope 😅 I definitely think she’s been cheeky but I don’t get all the outrage and PA.

Just move on and don’t give her anymore clothes 🤷‍♀️

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks - If you are so ok with funding someone else’s little side hustle with no return, please send me any clothes you no longer wear which are still in good condition. I really really need them. I mean if you are really nice you would just send me the money, less effort all round really. Just call me an entrepreneur.

Yeah except if I thought anything was worth selling I’d just sell it myself 😅

In OP’s situation I’d think CF was cheeky but I’d think fair enough as I hadn’t told her not to sell them 🤷‍♀️

She's telling the OP she needs the clothes. If the OP was just handing them over, it'd be different.

She did lie : she said she'd gone through the bags and that her ds loved everything and even when she got caught out in her lie, tried to cover it up

@darjeelingrose I was under the impression there was never a formal “yes I still need the clothes” but rather the arrangement kept happening because OP didn’t ask if she did and CF never said she didn’t.

@prettybird I wasn’t talking about the latest encounter, where OP was passive aggressive and pretended she didn’t know, but rather in general. I don’t think OP had said at any point that CF still says she needs them, rather that it’s just an arrangement they’ve continued with clarification.

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks - we get it, your team CF and have no qualms in ripping off casual acquaintances. By the way ripping off means taking financial advantage of, not whatever limited definition you went for above.

You should have just been honest. You lost all sympathy with the game playing. Bad as each other.

Nope, she’s not taking financial advantage of either.

CF names price, buyer accepts. They are not forced to accept, they are choosing to.