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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 26/02/2023 09:50

I love that you are not even thinking of putting up with this op. Get rid of the bastard.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 26/02/2023 09:51

Hadtocomment · 26/02/2023 09:33

There's a lot of these posts. Are they real? Do people really find out something so upsetting and immediately post to Mumsnet?

What else are you going to do at 1.30 in the morning? You are unlikely to be able to sleep straight away. Friends and family will probably be asleep, but there is always someone awake on mumsnet.

Everyonesinvited · 26/02/2023 09:52

What a piece of work.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 26/02/2023 09:53

Wow what a tosser

Katsucurrysauce · 26/02/2023 09:55

Well if he is the abusive shitbag from your other posts then you’re well rid of him.

Hadtocomment · 26/02/2023 09:57

"What else are you going to do at 1.30 in the morning? You are unlikely to be able to sleep straight away. Friends and family will probably be asleep, but there is always someone awake on mumsnet."

Fair enough although we don't know what country the OP is in do we? If it's real, I admire the OPs cool. Although if it were me and I was that cool about it, I think I'd just confront the person or end the relationship. I wouldn't be playing games, however entertaining-sounding an idea.

Cosmos123 · 26/02/2023 09:59

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 07:07

Honestly, thank you all so much for your replies. Luckily for me, it's my place and not his, we were talking about him moving in only a couple of weeks ago, but that certainly isn't going to happen now. We don't have kids so there is no tie to us ever having having to see each it her again. I took multiple screens shots on my phone, as there were a few more messages, but basically about the same thing. I set it to both hisblock screen and home screen, and the other shots are in his gallery, and mine now, so there's no denying anything. I went and slept downstairs as I couldn't stand being next to him. I didn't want a row at that time in the morning, neighbours seeing or hearing me chuck him out, so he's still happily asleep non the wiser. I think I'm going tobeait to see the confused look on his face when his alarm goes off soon, watch him squirm, then off he can fuck. To think I wasted years on that piece of shit.

Hope he has gone.
You are lucky u found out now.

changedforonenightonly · 26/02/2023 10:12

Hope your ok op that's truly shitty.

You deserve so much better.

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 10:18

Hadtocomment · 26/02/2023 09:33

There's a lot of these posts. Are they real? Do people really find out something so upsetting and immediately post to Mumsnet?

No they don’t. But it keeps us entertained on a Sunday morning.

donttellmehesalive · 26/02/2023 10:18

Good luck op. I experienced similar. It hurt like nothing else but I pretended it didn't and did the right thing. Hope you have rl support.

MadeForThis · 26/02/2023 10:19

At least you know before he moved in. Waster.

lljkk · 26/02/2023 10:20

Weanh. We need closure OP. Hope you update soon.

CuriousMama · 26/02/2023 10:22

I like your style OP. Really sorry it's happened to you though. That heart dropping to your feet feeling is awful 😞

Anniegetyourgun · 26/02/2023 10:27

I find it a lot more likely that someone would post a rant on a forum they belong to at 1.30am immediately after discovering their partner was cheating, than that they would rush to post an update whilst in the middle of gathering up his stuff and turfing him out the next morning. When the dramatic bit is over and OP has taken enough deep breaths she will probably be back to talk about it, but she doesn't have to.

As for the Poor Menz poster, now is not the time even if it were true.

ShakespearesBlister · 26/02/2023 10:28

Looks like the alarm didn't go off...

LuluLehman · 26/02/2023 10:29

Hadtocomment · 26/02/2023 09:33

There's a lot of these posts. Are they real? Do people really find out something so upsetting and immediately post to Mumsnet?

I would if I was in a similar situation. It’s quite a healthy thing to do because it allows OP to vent. They also get the support of everyone on here - which must feel empowering.

There do seem to be a lot of posts like this, but there is a whole lot of cheating going on out there.

Anniegetyourgun · 26/02/2023 10:37

p.s. My post above was not intended as a rebuke to @lljkkencouraging OP to update - it cross-posted with that one. It's fair enough to be interested/concerned, and I too am hoping OP can come back soon and that all went as smoothly as such an unpleasant scenario can. However it's not fair to suggest, as others have, the whole thing was made up because she posted at the wrong time, or didn't, or something. This is (presumably) someone's life.

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 10:38

ShakespearesBlister · 26/02/2023 10:28

Looks like the alarm didn't go off...

😂😂😂

oofmehip · 26/02/2023 10:50

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 26/02/2023 08:53

Some awful advice on here OP. Don’t air your dirty laundry in public! No Facebook posts, no contacting the Ow. just get rid of him after you’ve confronted him and stay classy. Look after yourself, have no contact and focus on you and your goals.

I don't have my glasses on and read this as 'focus on you and your goats'.

Either way, goats or goals OP, the only way is up!

purpledalmation · 26/02/2023 10:56

Nothing to say, except so sorry you have been let down like this. Kick him out, invite friends over, have a party, get drunk (if it's your thing) and try to convince yourself you're better off without him. It'll take a while but eventually you will believe it.

StartupRepair · 26/02/2023 10:59

Good luck. I admire your clarity.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 26/02/2023 11:07

Ugh. What a dick of a bloke. You're well rid OP. Thank god you have your own place and no ties to him. Onwards and upwards. Stay classy - kick him out and hold your head high.

Original poster
Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 11:11

You've all been absolutely amazing in your responses, I can't tell you how much they all mean to me, thank you so much. I had to go into the bedroom to get my clothes out for work, I made myself a coffee, and walked in, as calmly as I could, he woke up, said good morning with a smile on his face, I casually asked him to check the time for me as I was running late.............the look of pure confusion was priceless!!!!!!!......I just looked at him and said, no need to explain anything, I've seen enough, when I get back from work, I want you and all your stuff out of here. I didn't even give him a chance to explain himself, just walked out and headed to work. The coward hasn't even had the balls to message or call me, so it really does show how little he cares.

OP posts:
Knitterofcrap · 26/02/2023 11:13

You left him in your house?

Loq · 26/02/2023 11:14

Holy moly