Set his cheating message as his screen saver

[Tothemoonandbackx]

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

This is a great way to put it. She may know.

How's it gone x

You’ve had a great escape, no marriage or children. Dodged a bullet!

Oysterbabe · Today 07:09
In a thread from last year you describe him as a mentally abusive, gas lighting, lying, massive walking red flag and talk about trying to leave and him always worming his way back. Do not let this happen this time, it has to be the end. Get him out for good OP, you can do it.

Wow! So this is a steady thing and she knows what he’s like?!
And they still don’t live together a year later?
Its probably a different guy.

But if it is the same guy and she’s put up with him for a years, she made her own bed and all that. Did she think she would change him with the power of her love? I never understood why some women stay with abuse pricks. Immaturity? Low self esteem? @Oysterbabe How do you know what OP posted last year?

No. My money is on it being a different guy. Not the same one.

Hope you're okay op

I suspect @WillowBeeT · posted on the wrong thread.

As for him, I find it astounding that anyone would be so brazen as to leave a phone which his partner clearly had full access to to check message history etc, with notifications set to go on to his Home Screen. Perhaps he actually wanted to end the relationship but doesn’t have the guts to do it so has set it up this way.

It’s clear the OP hasn’t accidentally discovered his cheating, he clearly wanted her to know or he wouldn’t have left his phone in a public place, where he knew that an OW would likely text him given his string of previous messages.

OP is right to get rid, but tbh it’s clear he didn’t care whether she knew anyway, so there is nothing to be achieved by going off on one, I would just tell him it’s not working, wouldn’t give him a reason, he knows the reason, but by not saying anything he will have been disarmed because he’s expecting a confrontation. Because he’s set it up that way.

Hope you're okay ttmab x

@WillowBeeT I wondered whether she'd had issues with him before now so did an advanced search. She posted in July last year about how she was planning to dump him but that they'd been off and on a few times and he always managed to talk her round and get back with her. It obviously could be a different guy and she's got with a fresh new shitbag since then.

Welldone OP. Hope he's been thrown out by now.

Don't let him twist it back on you for looking at his phone!!!

This is what I would message. She might or might not know - but send it in case she doesn’t.
Get his key off him and get his stuff bagged up and send the scumbag on his way with hopefully nowhere to go.
And then look after yourself very well today.

Also ignore the posters who are bringing up your posting history, most of us don't care and are only concerned with what's going on currently Thinking of you

Oh do go start your own deluded, endlessly boring Poor Menz thread and stop derailing this one 🙄

It's 9.25am now. Think he's had enough of a Sunday morning lie in and you won't disturb your neighbours

I'd be up there with a bin liner noisily shoving his stuff into it and putting it by front door.

Take quilt off him and start stripping bed, saying "get up I've got laundry to do. Go home now... "

I wouldn't even talk to him. Just send him home, he'll figure it out. Cut him off dead as it'll annoy him more that he can't try to talk you out of it

Good luck OP - you are much better off without him. X

Well done op! Hopefully he’s by now.

Now do something nice for today & fresh bedding for tonight!

Just keep yourself safe, men can become violent when caught out.

Good luck.

There's a lot of these posts. Are they real? Do people really find out something so upsetting and immediately post to Mumsnet?

I really do hope his face was a picture when he woke up. No man is infinitely better than a rubbish man. Trust me I know.
No man is going to move into my house again, he'd better have his own.

I think they're real, at least I believe this one is. You find out something upsetting, it's the middle of the night, your friends aren't awake and even if they were you might not feel ready to talk to real life people about the situation. There's comfort in getting support and validation, even if it's just from online strangers.

Agree with the sending OW a reply message

"This is X's girlfriend of Y years. He's been begging to move in with me permanently as he loves me so much. He was sleeping next to me. I saw your message & now know he's a disgusting lying cheating turd, not even a real man. Thought you'd want to know who you've been shagging. I'll have to arrange STD tests when they open. You're welcome to him if you still want him. His stuff is in bin liners by my front door"

Another one hoping you're ok

You go OP! Well done! I know it must be utter rubbish but it sounds like you dodged a bullet before anything tied to him. So proud of women like you!

I hope you are OK this morning OP. So sorry this happened to you.

@GoodChat @MessyJ
My opinion thanks