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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:09

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 26/02/2023 13:34

@MessyJ she's "stringing it out" when she found out last night and kicked him out this morning? Really???

Get a fucking grip and try being a nicer person to someone who has had a massive emotional shock.

I gave my opinion on to how she can handle the situation better in the future. You just swore at me and then gave me the Be Kind line. Which is just a misogynistic way to tell women to shut up for sticking their head above the parapet and daring to voice an opinion.

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/02/2023 14:11

Too late now but I'd have been tempted to use his phone to take a picture of my breasts and send it to the OW ...

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:12

Lamelie · 26/02/2023 13:59

Some posters like a good drama. You’ve behaved maturely and sensibly. I don’t know how waking someone up and kicking them out like an episode Eastenders would be better for your mental health like @MessyJ suggests.
Flowers You’re doing brilliantly.

Can you quote me where I said that? No you can’t. But you can find posts where I call
out the drama vultures waiting for the next instalment in a vulnerable woman’s life.

Pearsandclocks · 26/02/2023 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What an absolute delight you are! Ffs talk about try to kick someone when they’re down. I feel sorry for any friends you may have although i suspect that isn’t many.

Goingthere · 26/02/2023 14:12

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/02/2023 14:11

Too late now but I'd have been tempted to use his phone to take a picture of my breasts and send it to the OW ...

Why?

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:12

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/02/2023 14:11

Too late now but I'd have been tempted to use his phone to take a picture of my breasts and send it to the OW ...

WTAF? I’m done! Confused

bluegreygreen · 26/02/2023 14:14

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/02/2023 14:11

Too late now but I'd have been tempted to use his phone to take a picture of my breasts and send it to the OW ...

?????

louise5754 · 26/02/2023 14:14

@PopGoesTheProsecco

It's you he cheated on not his first affair partner? Why get her involved?

Pearsandclocks · 26/02/2023 14:14

JocelynBurnell · 26/02/2023 12:23

Just get rid of him as quickly and simply as possible.

Quit the drama. He should have been long gone.

And then he’d need to come back again for his things. As she’s at work it’s simpler for him to pack while she’s not there and have no reason to come bsck.

ehb102 · 26/02/2023 14:16

Well, @Tothemoonandbackx , I think you are styling this out! Or do I mean handling this stylishly? Good for you anyway.

caringcarer · 26/02/2023 14:16

Copy all messages to yourself then find wedding certificate as you need it for divorce. I'd be tempted to pack his stuff in black sacks and put into garden. Then when goes out get locksmith in to change locks. You will have to pretend to have lost your keys. I did this when I found out my lying cheating ex was seeing someone whilst I took kids on caravan holiday and he was supposed to be coming up at weekend to join us for a further week. However my best friend saw him at very expensive restaurant holding hands and looking into eyes of OW and she rang me. I was so grateful to her as I know she found it hard to do.

Sunriseinwonderland · 26/02/2023 14:22

Pearsandclocks · 26/02/2023 14:12

What an absolute delight you are! Ffs talk about try to kick someone when they’re down. I feel sorry for any friends you may have although i suspect that isn’t many.

I tend to agree with you tbh. There is no way I'd let him run around my house after breaking up on his own. You just don't know what he's capable of. Id want him out there and then and he can pick his stuff up from the doorstep at his leisure.
I think he's taken the piss quite long enough.
I gave my lodger her notice to leave unsupervised and she stole all my jewellery.

Sunriseinwonderland · 26/02/2023 14:23

That is street with the poster you were having a go at.

Oohoohwee · 26/02/2023 14:32

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 11:11

You've all been absolutely amazing in your responses, I can't tell you how much they all mean to me, thank you so much. I had to go into the bedroom to get my clothes out for work, I made myself a coffee, and walked in, as calmly as I could, he woke up, said good morning with a smile on his face, I casually asked him to check the time for me as I was running late.............the look of pure confusion was priceless!!!!!!!......I just looked at him and said, no need to explain anything, I've seen enough, when I get back from work, I want you and all your stuff out of here. I didn't even give him a chance to explain himself, just walked out and headed to work. The coward hasn't even had the balls to message or call me, so it really does show how little he cares.

Kween 👸👸👸

Hawkins003 · 26/02/2023 14:32

This is why you cannot always be sure who's faithful,

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 26/02/2023 14:34

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/02/2023 14:11

Too late now but I'd have been tempted to use his phone to take a picture of my breasts and send it to the OW ...

What?

Why?

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 26/02/2023 14:36

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:12

Can you quote me where I said that? No you can’t. But you can find posts where I call
out the drama vultures waiting for the next instalment in a vulnerable woman’s life.

This is you talking about mental health is it not @MessyJ

Set his cheating message as his screen saver
Growlybear83 · 26/02/2023 14:36

I think you've handled this SO well OP. I doubt that I could have been so calm and dignified if this had happened to me. I hope he's gone when you get home and I hope you're ok once this all sinks in completely.

FlissyPaps · 26/02/2023 14:37

Good for you OP!

You couldn’t have handled it any better in my opinion.

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:41

You seem to have

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 26/02/2023 14:43

You’re amazing! I’d love any future DDs of mine to handle a break up with this strength and class!

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:45

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 26/02/2023 14:36

This is you talking about mental health is it not @MessyJ

I’m asking you to quote where I suggested creating an Eastenders style drama! Unfortunately for you, you’ve highlighted the part where I call out the people that enjoy a good drama on a thread. 😂😂😂Nice try anyway.

Lamelie · 26/02/2023 14:54

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 14:12

Can you quote me where I said that? No you can’t. But you can find posts where I call
out the drama vultures waiting for the next instalment in a vulnerable woman’s life.

I hopped on happy to apologise but scrolling back, as others have seen, you did exactly that. Ah well, maybe this is enough drama for the Eastenders bunch as @Tothemoonandbackx is behaving with dignity.

TeaAndTattoos · 26/02/2023 15:13

So sorry OP when it happened to me I woke him up and kicked him out as soon as I saw the message I didn’t want to spend the next few days pretending to like him just so he could stage an argument and leave I did it for him. Pathetic bastard had to phone his dad up to come through on the bus and pick him up. Funny thing was there was new people moving in below us so they got to watch him walking down the stairs with all of his stuff. Nice touch on the phone screen I wish I had done the same thing.

stressedoutstudent · 26/02/2023 15:16

Some people on this thread are a bit errrm, unstable. I found my ex was cheating in a similar fashion, at 5am, i waiting until a reasonable time, told him to leave my property immediately, which he did. I packed his shit up for him to collect later. A screaming match at 5am wasnt what i wanted (i had kids too) so waited until i was calmer, and sent him on his way.

OP, you have done whats best for you, i think you have handled it perfectly well considering the circumstances.