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Original poster

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 13:16

This reply has been deleted

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WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 13:16

.. rinse and repeat. Not ‘rice’

Intergalacticcatharsis · 26/02/2023 13:21

I think you have handled this perfectly OP.

Kick him out, no further discussion, then block him. You know the truth. There is no point in giving him the power to confuse you and drag you into discussions. Like this you take control. Well done you - lucky escape.

MrBallensWife · 26/02/2023 13:22

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 11:11

You've all been absolutely amazing in your responses, I can't tell you how much they all mean to me, thank you so much. I had to go into the bedroom to get my clothes out for work, I made myself a coffee, and walked in, as calmly as I could, he woke up, said good morning with a smile on his face, I casually asked him to check the time for me as I was running late.............the look of pure confusion was priceless!!!!!!!......I just looked at him and said, no need to explain anything, I've seen enough, when I get back from work, I want you and all your stuff out of here. I didn't even give him a chance to explain himself, just walked out and headed to work. The coward hasn't even had the balls to message or call me, so it really does show how little he cares.

OP,you are a bloody legend!

BananaCocktails · 26/02/2023 13:25

I hope you are okay

MrBallensWife · 26/02/2023 13:27

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 12:10

You'd wish things could be so black and white as some previous posters have said, but everyone doea handle their own situations differently. I'm certainly not trying to stretch it all out for as long as possible, or create drama for myself. Ive been cheated on and trying to handle it the best way I can.

I genuinely think you have handled it perfectly.
No confrontation,screaming arguing etc.If he's got any sense he will be gone as surely he knows he can't talk his way out of it?.
You've handled it with dignity and grace and I think you are amazing!

bookwormcrazy · 26/02/2023 13:32

You have handled this with so much class! I can only hope that the next time something like this happens to me, that I handle it just as you have done.
I am sure it will hit you within the next few days but don't back down and allow yourself some time to process properly and heal.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 26/02/2023 13:34

@MessyJ she's "stringing it out" when she found out last night and kicked him out this morning? Really???

Get a fucking grip and try being a nicer person to someone who has had a massive emotional shock.

moose62 · 26/02/2023 13:34

Well done OP.

People say block and move on, others say you are dragging it out.
Everything is great in principle and no matter how hurt you are sometimes people just need to hear 'why'...it might all be lies and bullshit but the human side of you might be longing for a 'sorry' or explanation.

You don't need to accept it but sometimes part of you wants to hear it.

shittyshitshit · 26/02/2023 13:34

I think she likes the excitement and the emotional outrage. Some people do.

Of being cheated on? Odd perspective. Confused

Crumpleton · 26/02/2023 13:38

GoodChat · 26/02/2023 12:09

Her approach is much more sensible than waking a sleeping man and having a row in the middle of the night.

Show quote history

Agree with this.
Also I dare say if OP hadn't of needed to go to work she'd have had his sorry backside out on the street by now.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 26/02/2023 13:38

Good advice from @Mamamia32

ferntwist · 26/02/2023 13:38

Brilliant brilliant OP. So good to see a strong swift reaction like this. You’re made of steel. Deserve so much better 💐💐💐

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/02/2023 13:50

You've handled this brilliantly.
Don't let him weasel his way back in.

Flatbellyfella · 26/02/2023 13:52

I hope you have/had his possessions in Tesco bags at the door. End of….

Aussiegirl88 · 26/02/2023 13:52

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ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 26/02/2023 13:52

Well done!

Eustaciavile · 26/02/2023 13:53

@Oysterbabe
you seriously did a search on the OP’s posting history?!! Seriously??!! 😵‍💫
To prove …what?!?!?

Good luck, OP.

WifeMotherWorker · 26/02/2023 13:56

OP you have handled this situation brilliantly, I’m afraid I wouldn’t have been able to manage this situation with the same level of dignity and self respect. Well done you. Your life will be so much better without this piece of shit. Good luck with everything x

dalmation4046 · 26/02/2023 13:57

You're amazing!!! This is definitely something I'd do if I found out my partner cheated. I hope he's took his stuff and left!

LadyLolaRuben · 26/02/2023 13:57

Been their myself OP. Found messages on a phone and I'll never forget the feeling. Well done for getting him out. I did same. All clothes out of bedroom window for him to collect and piss off. Took me 3 hours to clear 12.5 years out of my house. I was so angry at how he has wasted my time and lies he told to cover his tracks

Weallhaveavoice · 26/02/2023 13:58

Oysterbabe · 26/02/2023 09:18

@WillowBeeT I wondered whether she'd had issues with him before now so did an advanced search. She posted in July last year about how she was planning to dump him but that they'd been off and on a few times and he always managed to talk her round and get back with her. It obviously could be a different guy and she's got with a fresh new shitbag since then.

OP said they’d been together for 20years on this post…..I seem to remember

Lamelie · 26/02/2023 13:59

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 12:10

You'd wish things could be so black and white as some previous posters have said, but everyone doea handle their own situations differently. I'm certainly not trying to stretch it all out for as long as possible, or create drama for myself. Ive been cheated on and trying to handle it the best way I can.

Some posters like a good drama. You’ve behaved maturely and sensibly. I don’t know how waking someone up and kicking them out like an episode Eastenders would be better for your mental health like @MessyJ suggests.
Flowers You’re doing brilliantly.

stonebrambleboy · 26/02/2023 14:00

Toffeeappler · 26/02/2023 12:11

OP, there are some right arseholes on here today who seem to delight in kicking women when they’re down.
You are doing brilliantly. Stay strong and keep your head up x

I second that .

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 26/02/2023 14:06

Like walking him up in the middle of the night and throwing him out would be less drama. 🤣

Op slept and went to work and cooly handed him his matching orders with a coffee on her hand on her way. That's not unnecessary drama. That's excellent self control and class.