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Original poster

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 26/02/2023 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I think a 10 hour delay isn't excessive....

Lets be kinder!

BreviloquentBastard · 26/02/2023 12:14

This reply has been deleted

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Oh do shut up, she's done absolutely fine and handled this with grace and dignity.

Honestly, no matter what someone does there's always some nit picking little twit has to crawl out of the woodwork and proclaim how they would have done it better. Go get a hobby.

bluetilt · 26/02/2023 12:20

You are an abosoluty hero and I love the way you handled everything. I’m following this with interest because I was on early stages talking with a man but he constantly had engagements with “friends” when I was free to meet - Sunday mornings, Thursdays evenings etc, so I suspect he was attached to, now he is gone super quiet, I wonder if he was caught trying to stray?
It is a jungle out there.

comingintomyown · 26/02/2023 12:21

Yep agree absolutely brilliantly handled , sorry this has happened to you OP but at least you don’t have ties that make it so much harder

JocelynBurnell · 26/02/2023 12:23

Just get rid of him as quickly and simply as possible.

Quit the drama. He should have been long gone.

EddyF · 26/02/2023 12:23

Well done OP; I hope things work out which they will soon.

Reading some pitiful ‘advice’ on here like “expose it on FB/Social Media”. It’s just so CHAVY and uncouth, and I don’t think anyone giving that advice would do it for themselves. Also the messages to the other woman all sound stupid; anyone writing “Karma, you are welcome to him, he told me he loved me” all sound unhinged and pathetic. The receiver of those texts would laugh their head off. There’s some sort of fantasy that women are women’s friends and will stick together. Rarely the case.

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 12:24

BreviloquentBastard · 26/02/2023 12:14

Oh do shut up, she's done absolutely fine and handled this with grace and dignity.

Honestly, no matter what someone does there's always some nit picking little twit has to crawl out of the woodwork and proclaim how they would have done it better. Go get a hobby.

Show quote history

Is everything alright? You seem unusually rattled by a comment a stranger made to another stranger online.

Hope your day gets better 😀

BollocksToThem · 26/02/2023 12:29

Let’s hope your day does too @MessyJ , you can make a point without the bitchy comments you know…

Cantthinkofabettername · 26/02/2023 12:30

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 12:24

Is everything alright? You seem unusually rattled by a comment a stranger made to another stranger online.

Hope your day gets better 😀

Show quote history

@MessyJ what a strange couple of replies …

The OP isn’t stringing anything out. She’s told him to get his stuff out whilst she is at work.

The reply to you by @BreviloquentBastard was totally to the point!

BreviloquentBastard · 26/02/2023 12:34

MessyJ · 26/02/2023 12:24

Is everything alright? You seem unusually rattled by a comment a stranger made to another stranger online.

Hope your day gets better 😀

Show quote history

I'm wonderful thank you, having a lovely Sunday. Perhaps you should have had this energy when replying to the OP instead of needlessly criticising her perfectly reasonable actions.

soggydigestives · 26/02/2023 12:37

Love your style op , onwards and upwards!

Bunnyishotandcross · 26/02/2023 12:39

Not cheating but deceit - I told my dh to be gone when I got home from work. He was. Never clapped eyes on him since. Been nearly 11 years!
He took birthday gifts as it was 4 days to go.. So if one of you lucky ladies got a new phone and some perfume back in 2012 early July they were mine!

LuluLehman · 26/02/2023 12:41

Bunnyishotandcross · 26/02/2023 12:39

Not cheating but deceit - I told my dh to be gone when I got home from work. He was. Never clapped eyes on him since. Been nearly 11 years!
He took birthday gifts as it was 4 days to go.. So if one of you lucky ladies got a new phone and some perfume back in 2012 early July they were mine!

Hahaha! A small price to pay for getting the bastard out of your life forever. Well done.

2bazookas · 26/02/2023 12:43

do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

Maybe wait until you forwarded his messages from his phone to his whatsapp social groups, his family, his work colleagues...

AdoraBell · 26/02/2023 12:57

So sorry this has happened to you. Haven’t RTFT so apologies if this has been suggested but I would take a picture of the now scream saver so you have the evidence on your on own phone.

cinci · 26/02/2023 12:57

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 26/02/2023 11:43

I'd never have a go at her unless it was clear she knew he (used to) have a partner,

She has no loyalty to you. Even if she knew this isn’t on her at all and she isn’t to blame.

Of course she'd share some of the blame if she knew, much less of course. Op has decided to let it go and not pursue it which suits her and is fair enough.

whatausername · 26/02/2023 12:58

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 12:10

You'd wish things could be so black and white as some previous posters have said, but everyone doea handle their own situations differently. I'm certainly not trying to stretch it all out for as long as possible, or create drama for myself. Ive been cheated on and trying to handle it the best way I can.

You're handling it bloody wonderfully!

Mamamia32 · 26/02/2023 12:59

Just a few words of advice

Don't contact the other woman in anger if she knows he was in a relationship. It's up to you if you want to let her know he was cheating in case she doesn't know, but even then you're not obliged to message her at all if you don't want to. You're allowed to be selfish and just prioritise yourself.

Don't tell the whole world in a fury as you may regret this later on and wish that less people knew. Choose a close friend or two and your mum or dad if you're close, have a good cry to them and let them support you. You will probably feel a whole range of different emotions in a short space of time. Just be kind to yourself, remember to eat, have bubble baths, and sugary tea.

Get his stuff out of your space as quickly as possible. Get the pictures off your phone, make a new Facebook if you want. Fresh start.

If you want to hear him say sorry and acknowledge how wrong it was then it's ok to have a break up conversation where he can apologise to you and you can tell him to go to hell. If you want that rather than blocking him straight away then that's ok. Just shut it down if he tries to excuse himself or blame you.

Don't ask questions wanting to know all the details about where they met, how it started etc.. The details just rub salt into the wound, and once you know them you can never unknow them. It's enough to know he has cheated.

Book a sexual health check up and include this mentally in the same category as self care, prioritising yourself and looking after yourself.

Take care x

poorpaws · 26/02/2023 13:01

Well done OP 👏. I wish I'd done similar many years ago, you are absolutely amazing and I'm hoping you will get over this quickly and find the love of your life very soon.

Pipsquiggle · 26/02/2023 13:02

Well done OP. You have handled this well.

Hope he has gone when you get back from work

AdoraBell · 26/02/2023 13:03

Sorry, just seen your update, we’ll done 👍

squidgybits · 26/02/2023 13:05

Toffeeappler · 26/02/2023 01:45

Can you make it his social media profile oic as well??

This

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 26/02/2023 13:05

Sending lots of love. You’ve dealt with this with grace and dignity. You deserve so much better

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 26/02/2023 13:07

@Tothemoonandbackx You've handled it really well. I'm so proud of you. Gin

LizzieVereker · 26/02/2023 13:10

Liebig · 26/02/2023 02:36

Wallpaper. Not screensaver. Did people just forget the last twenty years of computing?

Yes, this is the most important detail here 🙄