To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

My ds birthday is august.

So he didn't tend to get toys between then and Xmas but if around March time there was something he really wanted I didn't hold off if I had the funds.

If she'll definitely play with it then get it and too hot with accessories for the doll for her birthday.

Given that your DD's birthday is in June, why would you wait until Christmas? Why not buy it for her birthday? (By when she'll probably desperately want something else).

If you want to buy it now, I'd do as PP suggest and find a 'reason'/reward.

Do you wait until Christmas or birthday to treat yourself to a new bag, perfume, beauty treatment etc?
Life is short but her the doll

I'm with you OP. I also would agonise over this kind of purchase. I do think as a one off it's fine. It's different if you bought something every time you went to the shops etc. Maybe explain it's a special treat etc. We can also afford things. I suppose I grew up in a home where my parents couldn't afford much at all and it all seems so extravagant now.

Like others my DDs birthday is in early January so couldn't/wouldn't be restrictive like that. It feels really miserly to never buy any gifts in between. My DD7 can have things as she wants/needs. We're on holiday and yesterday, she wanted a book from second hand shop so great she had that, today we will go to HP shop and she'll be able to choose something she wants. She never pesters for stuff and is suitably grateful when she gets things. She is privileged in the sense we are financially in a position to treat her but she is far from spoilt.

My DD's birthday is in December. There's no way I'm only letting her get new toys in one month of the year. Especially while she's young and her tastes and needs change.

If you're worried about setting a precedent then the "earning it" option sounds good at her age.

Buying her a doll as a one off isn’t “spoiling”

Ridiculous middle class virtue signalling.

no more than your comment about chores is "ridiculous working class virtue signalling".🙄

My children and now my GC get Easter presents. If it makes you feel better, get it for Easter. Children aren't spoilt by presents. Peer groups are important. I'd rather have a big gift that's really wanted, than bits of stuff from days out tbh.

Buying her one doll does not open the door for her to get everything she wants. You say no to some things and yes to others. I have an adult child and an almost adult child. We bought them things all the time. They are not spoiled, understand the value of money and are savers.

You explain a job to a 6 year old, they have a teacher so they understand that role, they will have lunch assistants, you can explain that job, people on supermarket tills, bin trucks, bus drivers etc. Explain you get paid some money every month but you cannot always have what you want all the time and then tell her some things you would love but don't get, like a holiday every month. That is a good way to start, she then sees you don't get everything either.

Buy her the doll, it's a once off & I bet you she'll remember it fondly.
There are some on sale too at argos & smyths, you may pick up a bargain.

Exactly 💯

See, I never rewarded my dd with toys for any of those kind of things- I just expected her to be kind, well behaved and work hard at school by default- she only ever got a verbal well done for achieving well at sport or school.

I work in a school now and have seen how damaging it is for children whose parents offer a treat for getting high scores on school tests- I've seen children distressed and in tears regularly when they have failed to get 10/10 on a spelling test because 'I won't get my treat now'.

She did however get toys regularly as I always saw them as something she needed to keep her busy and active and many were developmentally necessary appropriate like needing a bigger bike, a scooter, garden games, adding regularly to expand a collection like lego, or role play things etc.

Mine get £10 a month pocket money and can save it or spend it. They also had their birthdays just after Christmas and both got a bit of money.

Ds2 spends his money on shite cos he's 5 (dinosaur excavation eggs mostly).

Ds1 is 7 and understands the value of money a bit better now and will save up. He's just spent £40 on a Lego set and is saving his remaining £30 towards another set he wants ,

I will sometimes buy them a £5/10 toy/teddy/gift shop shite if we are out for the day and it's a treat.

We are also members of the toy library! Which is great for getting new toys each month to play with!

Oh goodness me, buy the doll!
Tell her you are going for some errands and go to the toy shop and let her choose. What a pleasure to see her face. As a PP said, one of the joys of parenting.
During long weeks of revision for O Levels ( yes, well old!), I was promised a transistor radio of my own if I did well. Then randomly one evening my dad came home with a radio for me because they saw how hard I was working and knew I would appreciate it. I can still recall that moment all these decades later.

OP, if you can afford the doll buy it for your DD.
You will make her so happy. Having the doll now is very important to her.
I know you are worried about her being spoilt but I really don't think you need to worry. Let her have the doll and enjoy it while her friends all have them.

It's March in 3 days. Some people call that the first day of spring (wrongly, because it's the Vernal Equinox on 20th March) but it's a good enough "reason" to buy her the doll if you need a reason @Rainallnight.

Personally I bought my DD something I knew she wanted just "because" and now at 27 she's well rounded, thoughtful, generous and knows the value of money.

It'll mean more that you bought it "because" rather than wait for an arbitrary fixed date! 🙄

She's 6!! Surely you can give your child one gift without manufacturing a reason or making her save for it ----and she won't instantly become a spoiled brat?

I’d probably get it as a special treat.

We buy maybe 3 things a year outside or birthday and Christmas. Not big presents but something they desperately want and yes it’s often to help with the social aspect.

The kids also have pocket money saved that they choose to dip into a couple of times a year. Generally that’s to add to a toy they already have and I don’t see that as something “needed”.

Buy her the doll

childhood flies by so quickly-don't overthink it!

Buy it and enjoy seeing her face light up with pleasure 😊

@legalseagull

It's only February, did a scooter not occur to you for the birthday/Christmas she's just had?

Anyway, I'd be buying one now IF she's outgrown her current one, but not if it's just a different colour she wants or something.

All she’ll remember is you didn’t buy her a doll she desperately wanted. Go get her the doll and give it to her because you love her not for some made up reason.

Jeez, she's a little girl whose friends are crazy about Rainbow High dolls and she wants to be able to join in. Buy her the doll! It's £20 you can afford.

It's not like you're buying her a frigging castle.

If you want to teach about the value of money, do something like give her pocket money to save up for things she wants.

This seems so odd to me that there's such a reluctance to buy a small gift because it's not birthday or christmas! There's buying the odd thing, and then there's outright spoiling! This approach of only birthday and christmas is mad!