To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

i recall you from your FWB thread and so know each of your children have a different father. Do their fathers have the same very strict present buying approach as your? What about extended family?

I agree

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy you had a horrific childhood and it would seem perhaps you don’t have much of a benchmark for what is important and not in parenting young children. No judgement as awful time you had but surely it strikes you that your approach is very much the minority and in fact quite alarming to some of us.

You would watch your 9 year old completely miss out on a fad at school if they didn’t have enough money?

No how their fathers choose to parent them when it's their time is none of my business. They know they have different rules at mummy's and daddy's

Not going to lie… it’s a relief to hear this!

I believe time is more important then stuff

Just wanted to point out that while I did buy my children many many things I also gave them time.

You can give kids both time and spontaneous gifts to show love. They are not mutually exclusive.

I don't know why your making out I'm such a bad parent just because I choose to parent different to you

I don't think buying stuff is how you show love. If this was true it would be like saying rich parents love their kids more then poor parents because they buy them more stuff

It’s a relief to know that your 3 and 9 year old’s fathers will drop them the occasional treat without them having to “earn” it .

sorry if you interpret that as me thinking you’re a bad parent 🤷‍♀️

I don't think buying stuff is how you show love.

You should look at love languages, that might be your perception but for others it's different, for some people gifts are a form of showing and receiving love, that doesn't mean it has to be materialistic, but people give and receive gifts with genuine feelings of love, not trying to buy people off.

No of course not. But for example the OP could afford the doll. But she was initially not buying it for some worthy reasons. When a loving thing to do would to buy it without a ‘reason’. Of course no parent should do this all the time. But done occasionally, it can be a rewarding and happy thing to do for both parties.

It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be a random Freddo chocolate bar that was not expected. I just disagree that every gift a kid get has to be a Xmas or birthday gift or ‘earned’.

Exactly

Both my children constantly spoke with air up bottles and how they’d taken off at school and what they were doing to beg tastes of different flavours.

they never once asked me or even hinted, it was just them talking about it and how tasty or gross this flavour was and who had what colour.

I bought them each a bottle and variety pack of flavours. I left it in their rooms each with a little post it note saying “cos your mum loves you…”

they both came running out of their rooms shouting “mummy mum mum mum… thank yoooouuuuuu. Wow wow wow!!””

t’was bloody lovely 😊

You don't need to apologise iv just read your last post and now can understand why you feel the need to buy your kid gifts all the time. Where raising our children very differently and that's why they are treated very differently and that's OK

My last post about buying them air up bottles?! 😐

No the post about your kid being in boarding school

“All the time”?

As I say, you had a diabolical childhood and understandably don’t seem to have any kind of benchmark for parenting and so you’ve imposed a “earn it” culture with your very young children.

as I also say, relief to know those both kids fathers are with the rest of us on this! 🥲

The post about my son being accepted in to boarding school to join in September at 13? I’ll post so others can read

www.mumsnet.com/talk/boarding-school/4749542-boarding-school-and-adhd

for anyone interested this is the post @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy thinks demonstrates why I feel I have to occasionally buy treats for my children out of Christmas and birthday 😂

Why your at it why don't you explain why you said your not surprised I was SA as a child and ended up in care

Because it perhaps hasn’t given you the healthiest benchmark for parenting? Imposing a no gift outside of birthday and Christmas on two very young children is… unusual

As an aside… if anyone does have any thoughts on my thread that @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy kindly brought attention to… I could be very grateful! 🙏

Against the trend would probably give it for Easter

Give us a link.

I just looked them up and they are only £20. Get her to choose soemthing she can sell on that's she grown out of and get her one of these.

Why take the time to Google the price of the doll, but not to click see all and read the OPs posts when it’s 15 pages in?