To buy DD a present between birthday and Christmas.

[Rainallnight]

DD is desperate for a Rainbow High doll. She’s 6. I think it’s a bit tied up with friendship issues because it’s become a thing on her friendship group and she feels left out when they play with them.

Her birthday isn’t until June.

We usually don’t buy ‘big’ presents outside of birthdays or Christmas.

We can afford it, I just worry about spoiling. What do other people do about toys outside of birthdays or Christmases.

YABU - Buy her the bloody doll.
YANBU - hold out till Christmas

@legalseagull

im sorry you found my post patronising

*It's only February, did a scooter not occur to you for the birthday/Christmas she's just had?

Anyway, I'd be buying one now IF she's outgrown her current one, but not if it's just a different colour she wants or something*

So you don't buy her a present for her birthday and a separate Christmas present?

of course I know they grow out of things, it's right there in my post!!, which is why if things were tight, I would prioritise something like a scooter when planning my gift budget or know I'd have extra money by the time she grew out if it, to replace it.

@LaPassegiata I agree with everything you have say.

There are going to be some people on here that end up with very resentful adult children. Making 3 year olds do chores to " earn" things. Utterly ridiculous.

*have said

Or their is going to be some very entitled adult children who think they can have whatever they want

This is weird, I get my kids new toys regularly

I still remember the day that I got two Barbies in one day, just because. I must have been about 7. I can remember thinking it was just the best day.

I still remember that one of them was the Bedtime Barbie, even though it was almost 30 years ago.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy

Well FYI, I raised three very well behaved DC now adults. None suffered with entitlement then or now.

Seriously some posts on here about little children earning basic stuff, it's actually embarrassing to read. If money is a problem that's a bit different but some of the posts are just draconian. Some poor parenting for sure.

So anyone who parents different to you has poor parenting skills

If people genuinely think everything has to be a transaction, maybe we should start keeping track of all the times we've got things wrong for our children and giving them compensation, like the times we've been late or a nappy has leaked or we forgot something we promised to do. I think we'd probably all find ourselves skint pretty quickly.

Or, you know, we could accept that not everything has to be transactional and do nice things for our children because we love them.

I’m sorry this has started a bun fight.

To address some of the points raised…

I think I described our current situation as more black and white than it is. It’s not that DC get nothing between Christmas and birthdays. They always get books, craft stuff, play dough as needed. And as mentioned, we do treat them to stuff on days out and so on. And they get PLENTY of lunches, cafés out, soft play, cinema etc.

But I guess we haven’t done spontaneous toy-type presents, on a whim.

I get all the feedback on the thread about spontaneous joy and I’ve taken it on board.

I don’t accept the sharper feedback on my parenting. My kids are very loved and very happy. One of them has additional needs and I’ve gone to fairly enormous lengths to make she’s happy and has what she needs.

We do need to start pocket money, for sure.

I’ll never link toys and treats with chores.

Thanks for the all the input. Rainbow High doll (and yes to the PP who said they look murderous 😂) arrives tomorrow.

Op I don't think people have commented on your parenting skills other posters have hijacked the thread.

How sweet please tell us her reaction 😍.
Let us know if she suddenly turns demanding and spoilt..

Personally whilst I agree we usually set our own expectations of dc I think it's a good idea to never be too extreme a d always keep things fresh with some flexibility here and there

I think its my parenting skills everyone is commenting on as I give my children pocket money every week to buy their own toys with instead of just buying them toys so this apparently means my children will hate me when they grow up 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't rush out and buy something the moment my child asked for it. Also depends how much it costs and if I thought they would actually use it. Also on behavior. If it's just £25 or something like that then surprise her. A reward for something well done, or just because! If it's a 'big' gift or you think it's a passing fad, wait til later.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy I am sorry for the criticism you are getting. It sounds like you are doing a great job with how you are doing things. There is nothing wrong with expecting children to save up just as the odd smaller gift here or there is not going to raise a spoilt brat. I often find it is much more a sense of entitlement never being told no that creates spoild children and certainly see this as a reason to not give in to tantrums.

You are literally the only parent on a15 page thread that makes their very young children “earn” anything outside of birthday and Christmas

does that not tell you something @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy ?

I’m excited for you OP. Will be so lovely to surprise her with it!! She will be over the moon I’m sure

If it’s affordable to you then just buy it. We buy “presents” quite frequently in line with what we can afford. I try to cut back around birthday/xmas so we don’t get overloaded or double up on other people buying things we already have but otherwise I often buy my daughter things I think she will like.

Thankyou

Make a list of little jobs and then buy it

According to experts children learn their spending habits by 7 so don't you think it's important to teach them this through pocket money before 7. I have taught my kids to save for toys they want and your twisting it to make it seem like I make them buy everything themselves. I also strongly believe in treating children equally so if im giving my eldest money for doing jobs I will do the same for my youngest. They love putting money in their piggy banks and then going into town and picking out their own things rather then having to ask for stuff all the time.

Our 3.5 year old has up to £20 per month pocket money. Since we implemented this we no longer get the ‘can I have’ aa she knows her chance to buy her one new things is around pay day.

I'm glad you've written this I give mine £5 a week and was never sure if this was an OK amount

According to experts children learn their spending habits by 7 so don't you think it's important to teach them this through pocket money before 7.

I has a very happy and quite indulged childhood. At 7 I had absolutely no grasp of money.

I am now a professional single parent, very financially comfortable and militarily organised with regard to my budgeting.

It's OK that you was behind other kids in your development I wouldn't worry about it you caught up. My 3 1\2 year old has an excellent grasp on money but she's very bright

Oh good heavens.

you think a child of 7 to not have had any cause to budget or think of money or really care is… behind

You had a very very tough childhood . It would seem that you’re trying to replicate that in some way for your own children 😞