The stupid takeaway.

[Gworlie]

My OH has been away for a week and came back today. He turned up this evening with a Chinese takeaway for himself. Didn't even say he was getting one or asked if I wanted one. I've worked all week and done all childcare, which is fine, but when I said "well that's a bit shitty, I'm knackered and hungry too" his response was "well cook something then". I'm raging but he's acting like I'm being crazy.

Slightly going off the point but he has just left his suitcase near the washing machine ? So he’s expecting you to empty it and sort out the clothes before washing them. He sees you as a servant.

Just wondering @Gworlie how you are getting on after the weekend.

So he’s been away for a week, instead of racing home to see you, turns down a lift and go buys food for himself (not the family )and then punishes you for being hurt.
Sounds like a takeaway is the least of your worries. He’s had a taste of the single life for a week, no childcare or domestic chores and to top it off, feeds himself like a single man would, then lashes out at your reaction.
You need to have a serious talk with him. Is he resentful at the end of the holiday and a return to normal or that he couldn’t have as much fun as he’d like? If you know what I mean.
My husband travels for work, we always discuss if he will eat at airport or on plane or if I’ll be cooking for both of us. He always prefers to come straight home rather than take a detour for food , we’ve been together nearly 35 years and there’s no way he’d get a takeaway without asking me first what I want.

Did you read the rest of the posts and see that it isn't just about a takeaway?

There's obviously something bugging him, and I agree with PPs that playing pass agg games like making a nice meal and not offering him any, will only make things much worse.One of you has to be the adult, sit down face to face and ask what's going on. I think that person should be you.

This reminds me of my husband who went to McDonald's bought a McFlurry home and didn't think to ask me or the kids if we wanted anything! 🙄

Was your husband away for the week leading up to the time he went and bought himself a McFlurry for him and nothing for anyone else?

@LookItsMeAgain I wasn't trying g to be funny I was just using it as an example of how selfish men can be. I 100% think the OP's husband is an arse, just like I thought my husband was then he did that to the kids.

OP you've repeatedly said he's not usually a dick etc but honestly - he sounds like a complete dick of the highest degree with a penchant for gaslighting

He's been away on a jolly, comes back acting like an inconsiderate knob after saying he'd be home for dinner, deposits his luggage next to the washing machine! Disrespectful dick - the placing of the suitcase next to the machines is what gets me most. Just rude and disrespectful

Similar scenario 16 yrs ago. I never washed a dish or item of clothing, or cooked, or switched on a hoover again until the day he left. We both worked full time. I had always been the main earner. I managed everything. And then I stopped.

I also used to tell myself he wasn't a dick. He was, is now and always will be.

What's an OH?
Even my ex wouldn't do anything like that. He'd phone to see what I'd want. Are you going to stay with such a selfish jerk.

Hope you're okay @Gworlie

OH = Other Half

How are things a year on @Gworlie