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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The stupid takeaway.

464 replies

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:30

My OH has been away for a week and came back today. He turned up this evening with a Chinese takeaway for himself. Didn't even say he was getting one or asked if I wanted one. I've worked all week and done all childcare, which is fine, but when I said "well that's a bit shitty, I'm knackered and hungry too" his response was "well cook something then". I'm raging but he's acting like I'm being crazy.

OP posts:
Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:38

Thank fuck. I'm not going mental then. I'm absolutely livid. He was like "I've been on a train for 6 hours I can't deal this". I truly hope it does @youshouldnthaveasked

OP posts:
RobinRobinMouse · 24/02/2023 20:38

Either eat his, or put washing up liquid all over it. Either way, what a guy, you really need to get rid of him if this type of behaviour is normal.

Inastatus · 24/02/2023 20:40

Very selfish and not very thoughtful. YANBU.

OoooohMatron · 24/02/2023 20:41

That's seriously awful behaviour. Sure you could just order yourself a takeaway but it won't change the fact he's a selfish bastard. Is this a one off or is he often like this?

VladmirsPoutine · 24/02/2023 20:41

This is so selfish and inconsiderate it wouldn't be even worth trying to explain to someone who would do this why it hurts.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 24/02/2023 20:41

Time for a new patio. No jury of women would convict you.

Ketchupwee · 24/02/2023 20:42

Yep, he's a selfish twat. I would be fuming! If I were you I'd order my own, and probably be petty by finding ways of being equally selfish for the rest of the weekend

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:43

Nah he's not normally such a twat. And although the selfishness of it was more than enough, its more the him acting like I'm being completely unreasonable by being annoyed and then telling me to cook something if I'm hungry.

OP posts:
BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 24/02/2023 20:44

I’d be very annoyed.

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:44

@Ketchupwee I am thinking about not cooking dinner over the weekend or doing any of his week's worth of washing.

OP posts:
JuneOsborne · 24/02/2023 20:44

Hi love. Gonna grab a Chinese takeaway on my way in. What do you fancy?

It's all it would have taken for you to have felt included and thought about. It's almost like he's gone out of his way to be nasty. There is zero way I'd put up with that.

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:45

@JuneOsborne yes!!!! It almost felt intentional!!!

OP posts:
Blort · 24/02/2023 20:46

Wheres he been for a week, away with work?

Hatscats · 24/02/2023 20:46

Selfish prick - I’d be fuming

Ketchupwee · 24/02/2023 20:47

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:44

@Ketchupwee I am thinking about not cooking dinner over the weekend or doing any of his week's worth of washing.

Exactly what I would do 😬

Turnipworkharder · 24/02/2023 20:47

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:44

@Ketchupwee I am thinking about not cooking dinner over the weekend or doing any of his week's worth of washing.

Why are you doing his washing anyway.
He's been away working and having peace.
When he looks for clean clothes tell him to do his own washing

ThinWomansBrain · 24/02/2023 20:48

wrong title - should have been Stupid, selfish twat of a husband - or similar.
not the takeaways fault.

Mindthegapagain778 · 24/02/2023 20:48

This is so awful! The only thing that could possibly excuse this is if he came home much later than you eat usually and assumed you had already eaten. But even then, why not text you from the takeaway shop to see if you wanted anything? It hardly costs any effort to do that!

Is he usually this selfish op? I think I would have grabbed my purse and car keys and gone to get my own takeaway and then carried on driving … .

<I know it’s immature but I’m trying to think of an appropriate payback … revenge is a dish best served cold op! 😉>

LaPerduta · 24/02/2023 20:48

So you haven't seen him for a week and that's his way of saying he's missed you? Very unimpressive.

toodlesofoodles · 24/02/2023 20:49

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:38

Thank fuck. I'm not going mental then. I'm absolutely livid. He was like "I've been on a train for 6 hours I can't deal this". I truly hope it does @youshouldnthaveasked

Should have asked you what you wanted from the Chinese then after you've spent 100+ hours looking after the kids on your own

LookItsMeAgain · 24/02/2023 20:49

Don't do any of his laundry. Don't include him in any meals you make. In fact I'd make a point of eating out so that when you get home, you don't have to cook even for yourself and you can return the 'compliment' to him saying that if he's hungry he can cook and clean up after himself.

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:50

@Blort he went away with his friends for 4 days and then to family for 3 days (family were halfway between his friends and family).

@Turnipworkharder he works more hours than me normally so I do most of the housework, but I'm absolutely raging tonight haha. And he's just left his suitcase leaning against the washing machine. Ah the rage.

OP posts:
Cocobutt · 24/02/2023 20:50

Honestly, this would have me rethinking whether I actually want to stay in this relationship or not

It’s not about the takeaway but about the selfishness of it.

It would have taken less than a minute to text or ring asking if you want anything.
You could have made him a lovely meal which would have been a total waste.

Gworlie · 24/02/2023 20:51

@Mindthegapagain778 let me know what you come up with haha.

OP posts:
elm26 · 24/02/2023 20:52

I'm not even joking, I'd lose my shit over this.

He's been away on jollies whilst you take care of your DC, the house, work and he doesn't even call you and ask if you'd like anything to eat from the takeaway?

If I were you, I'd take myself out ALL weekend, book a hotel tomorrow night, arrange dinner out with a family member or friends and leave him to it with the DC.

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