What would you do if you were us?

[BigOldOak]

Sell or stay? Both turned 40 this month. DC 10 & 2.

YANBU Option 1- stay where we are. Been here 20+ years, nothing left to do to house, low maintenance, small garden, kids bedrooms aren’t massive, modern comforts and warm. Lovely safe community village, beach on doorstep, good neighbours, but are surrounded by them on all sides as an estate.
Small mortgage meaning no £ worries, DC could have private education, I don’t have to go back to work.

Option 2- move to large period house, lots of potential, barn (that could be converted and rented out), 2 acres, very secluded but can walk to the town. Needs a lot of maintenance cosmetic work as basic original eg old windows/kitchen/bathroom but nothing structural. Would have no/minimal money for renovations until I go back to work (which I’d planned to do when nursery free hours start), starting again with a big mortgage, tighter financial belt, no holidays/private school. DC could just about walk to the only school (huge with not a great reputation)

I love gardening and DIY, DH not so much. Big house and garden would be a dream forever home for us all but does it trump education and £ security? We have always been cautious but for some reason both feel like taking a leap!

Or are we having midlife crises?

I would sit tight for a few years then reassess. Now is not the time to get a big mortgage and add financial stress.

Stay. Be content with little life. Plus teenagers won't want to be in the sticks.

Sounds like a mid life crisis. I honestly cannot see any appeal in Option 2 versus Option 1.

Is there a compromise? Sounds very all or nothing. Can you achieve some of what you want without having to sacrifice so much?

Option 1 all day long. We have a small terrace on a village estate. It was relatively cheap. We are near beach and countryside. My DCs have been able to ride horses, sail, go on school trips and I've not lain in bed wondering how I'm going to pay for it all. It's an absolute no brainer for me. Get yourself an allotment or little plot of land and turn it into a beautiful flower garden, if you like. Go back to work when you want, to a job you want to do. Have a life not ruled by a mortgage. Seriously, my DCs are adult now and I've not regretted it for a moment.

Stay put! Get the best education you can for the dc.
by the time they're out on their own, you can think about retirement plans with everything paid off and have loads of options.
if you land yourself with the big fixer upper now, it'll be like starting from scratch and by the time it's done, the dc will be off and you'll be rattling around skint, and you have no way of knowing how fit/active you'll both be.
save now, cruise later!

we chose option 1 in a similar dilemma though the non-dream house doesn't sound as nice as yours and still needs a bit doing. but we decided on financial security and DC education over the fantasy big house and inherent stress.

Perhaps look for a different option 2 that is not so extreme?

Stay put

I’d stick to option 1

In the current financial climate you are risking financial pressures which could impact on your relationship.
Increased stress all round not good for the kids either.
Not to mention increased utility bills.
Not a good time for new mortgage.

Your dream house sounds like a bit of a nightmare if it will strip away your quality of life and financial security. What's attractive about that?

Option 1

Option 1

Option 1

Due to recession

I would stay

Option 1
Definitely mid-life crisis and boredom!

Start planning a summer holiday, paint a room,
Re do part of the garden, plan a summer vegetable garden.

Stay - and get an allotment to scratch the gardening itch.

Stay and get a job. Keep independence.
Is there a non private option in option 1.
Save for a couple years and then upsize if you find one.

I'd say stick with option 1 as I'd love the have the financial security you describe plus your life sounds really nice. What would your child want? Option 2 doesn't sound great for them.

I suppose it depends what you want in life, I've never understood wanting a huge perfect dream house, I'd prefer a house that works and a lovely dream life which it sounds like you currently have...

I'd stick with option 1. There's a lot to be said for lovely, safe community village (always someone to help you out/kids to have friends), lovely neighbours, beach on your doorstep and financial security. Sounds lovely!

Definitely Option 1
My DH piped up the other day that he thinks we should move somewhere bigger once the kids are teens. I think he's crazy. Our house is on the small side but we've worked hard on it and it's so perfect for us. We'd have to spend a lot more to get something bigger in this area, which we need to stay in for school and work. Why on earth would we want to take on a bigger mortgage in our 40s? I've got no appetite for the constant upgrading lots of people are keen on. I want to stay put, pay off the mortgage and have more spare cash.

I would go for option 1. Option 2 sounds lovely but has the potential to be a massive drain for your time, energy and resources.

Option 1.

Do not buy a period house if you are skint! Also don't buy massive garden if your husband doesn't garden, and you're skint so no gardener.

Option 1 now, and perhaps option 3 will come along in the future. You will know when. We sat tight and moved when it was right time and financially more comfortable