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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is awfully petty

297 replies

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
twoshedsjackson · 22/02/2023 20:03

J hope you have provided a replacement, as well as an apology.

IndigoC · 22/02/2023 20:03

In our household generic gifts like this from family members are considered communal property. I’d have no problem with it. My husband ate all of the chocolate my mum sent me from Christmas and I wasn’t bothered.

It really depends on the prevailing household views.

Pinkhorse1 · 22/02/2023 20:04

Its only 2 damn chocolates, you ate them and apologised, no big deal!

I can't believe some of the replies are on here, some really sad miserable ppl 😂

Hiddenvoice · 22/02/2023 20:05

I would probably ask my dh first if I could open his birthday sweets. He wouldn’t mind but out of politeness since it’s his present.

ThatshallotBaby · 22/02/2023 20:06

stripedsox · 22/02/2023 19:55

Can't believe this is so ott response to op. No it wasn't right to open his present BUT the name calling, there are some real twats on here tonight.
Some Mners are becoming more stupid, paranoid and pathetic by the day.

Completely agree. I think Callums g somebody a twat, is far more reprehensible than eating two chocolates and then apologising.

ThatshallotBaby · 22/02/2023 20:06

Calling

Muu · 22/02/2023 20:07

I wouldn’t be upset about this but then in my house a box of chocolate is something to be shared.

unless you snuffled up the ones you know are his favourite I don’t think you did anything wrong.

venus7 · 22/02/2023 20:07

Bivarb · 22/02/2023 18:44

People here are awfully dramatic. It wouldn't bother me if my other half had a couple of chocolates especially if they made the effort to give me a nice birthday. I would offer him some. I enjoy sharing nice food with my husband and child even if the food is part of a birthday present.

That's the point; 'I would offer him some'. Rather different from helping yourself.

flowerexpress · 22/02/2023 20:08

teomama · 22/02/2023 19:21

I’ve been called a dick, twat, very disrespectful, mannerless, greedy for eating two chocolates and apologising for it.
Surely not the best thing to do, but using this language is not really great either. I regret posting it - you really made me feel like shit. Thanks to everyone who conveyed their thoughts politely.

I think it's all a bit bonkers op. I once eat an entire bar of fancy chocolate my dp's mum bought him for his birthday while he was away and he didn't bat an eyelid. I probably had pms 🤷 I didn't realise it was such a terrible thing to do until I read this post! Feel like I should go out and replace it now. I really can't imagine how fancy this box of chocolates must have been for this to be so awful and you only had a few out of the whole box. I can't imagine getting upset about that or my other half getting upset about it. Chocolate must be a lot more important than I realised! I don't think you sound greedy or selfish at all if it's any consolation but then I'm a worse offender! :o x

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 20:08

IndigoC · 22/02/2023 20:03

In our household generic gifts like this from family members are considered communal property. I’d have no problem with it. My husband ate all of the chocolate my mum sent me from Christmas and I wasn’t bothered.

It really depends on the prevailing household views.

I've received lots of gifts from my customers around Christmas, Easter etc. Any edible items, I've always treated like a commodity.

OP posts:
WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/02/2023 20:09

BUT WHAT WERE THE CHOCOLATES Grin

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/02/2023 20:09

God my grammar is appalling today Blush

flowerexpress · 22/02/2023 20:10

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/02/2023 20:09

BUT WHAT WERE THE CHOCOLATES Grin

Agreed... I'm intrigued to know what type of chocolates they were!

StormzyinaTCup · 22/02/2023 20:10

I'm very laid back with most things but opening a gift meant for someone else and opening someone else's mail are an overstep and disrespectful as far as I'm concerned. Reminds me a bit of the time when my DCs were, I think, 4 & 2 and the older one went into the kitchen helped themselves to some of the chocolate out of the younger one's advent calendar - not on.

Most reasonable and loving partners I'm sure would say yes if asked, helping yourself to something not initially meant for you without asking, whatever your age, not so great imo.

I wonder where the OP stands on Easter Eggs🐰😋!!

WhisperGold · 22/02/2023 20:11

No mention of an apology in your OP though. Quite the opposite. Perhaps that's why you got flamed.

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 20:11

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/02/2023 20:09

BUT WHAT WERE THE CHOCOLATES Grin

Sorry to disappoint, just a generic box of truffles.

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 22/02/2023 20:12

OP I think part of the reason people have gone batshit is your title - To Think Husband is Being Pretty Awful - he's not being awful, and to call him that is totally unreasonable. Considering your title, I'm betting your apology wasn't exactly sincere.

I was expecting 'he went out last night, was uncontactable and came home drunk 6 hours later than he said he would' sorta post...not that you nicked his chocolates and he's pissed off!

Daffodilsandtuplips · 22/02/2023 20:14

I think you were a bit cheeky.
I did that to my brother in law, it was an Easter egg my mum had bought him, he’d never had an Easter egg before then.
In my defence I was eight. (Big age gap between my sister and me )

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 22/02/2023 20:15

It wouldn't bother me, my DH will regularly eat things that were bought for me. Sometimes he eats the whole box/pack.....I don't mind at all. What's mine is his and vice versa. I certainly couldn't get worked up over a few chocolates. I would apologise (as you did) if it upset my DH or he would if he upset me, it's not a big deal though.

jays · 22/02/2023 20:16

teomama · 22/02/2023 19:53

Hey, @wtfisgoingonhere21 sure, a reminder is OK, the name calling and anguish here is another level.

Yup, it’s a bit much! Just eat the rest of the box, to hell with it! Might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb 😂

Veryxonfused · 22/02/2023 20:16

IMO it’s totally okay to eat some once they’re opened, but you never open them. It’s the law

However if my OH did this I’d probably tell him he’s a cheeky bastard and leave it at that. No need to be nasty

Wheresthebeach · 22/02/2023 20:16

Wheresthebeach · 22/02/2023 20:12

OP I think part of the reason people have gone batshit is your title - To Think Husband is Being Pretty Awful - he's not being awful, and to call him that is totally unreasonable. Considering your title, I'm betting your apology wasn't exactly sincere.

I was expecting 'he went out last night, was uncontactable and came home drunk 6 hours later than he said he would' sorta post...not that you nicked his chocolates and he's pissed off!

Gah...misread title...apologies! Wish there was a * delete or edit button.

Supergirl1958 · 22/02/2023 20:17

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

If they were a box of chocolates bought as a joint present yes it’s petty, but they are HIS chocolates and it was rude of you sorry OP I voted YABU

Branleuse · 22/02/2023 20:23

I dont think its petty. I think its pretty standard manners to not open soneone elses gift, and at the very least you should have asked.
I think its a shame youve tried to turn it round into a flaw of his

StClare101 · 22/02/2023 20:24

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:22

We normally help ourselves to whatever is in the kitchen without asking specifically

Well yes that’s pretty normal behaviour for food bought on the grocery run! Imagine if you had to ask?!

A present is an entirely different matter. You were rude.

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