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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband is awfully petty

297 replies

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:17

Can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but my husband got upset because I opened a box of chocolates that his sister gave him for his birthday and ate a few of them. I laughed it out at first, but he insisted it was rude to open his present. I think that’s incredibly petty and actually feel offended to be told off like a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
WalterWitty · 22/02/2023 18:25

Augustus Gloop grew up and got married…YABU op

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 18:26

I wouldn’t even mention it if it was the other way around.

OP posts:
CaponeOnTax · 22/02/2023 18:26

It was a gift for him though?

Dacadactyl · 22/02/2023 18:26

I wouldn't do it without asking, bit I can't imagine getting worked up over it like he has.

sunshineandshowers40 · 22/02/2023 18:26

YABU. They weren't yours to open.

How long has your DH had them, if it has been a while I can understand why you were tempted.

GlassBunion · 22/02/2023 18:27

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:22

We normally help ourselves to whatever is in the kitchen without asking specifically

So you would happily open your spouse's birthday present then?
Twatish.

shopmyfeelings · 22/02/2023 18:27

I'd be really pissed off. Even if it was a box of chocolates I absolutely hated, he would still ask before opening them.

Apologise and admit it was rude.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 22/02/2023 18:27

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:26

I wouldn’t even mention it if it was the other way around.

Which is your choice for your presents.

He is entitled to have a different feeling/opinion to you

jackstini · 22/02/2023 18:27

Rude and entitled tbh

Normal food in kitchen - fair game and all shared
Specific present - you should always ask first

I only eat dark chocolate - so get pisses off if someone opens and eats my gifted ones when there is plenty of other chocolate available!

Was there any other chocolate?!

Oysterbabe · 22/02/2023 18:27

Yabu and you need to apologise.

Ketchupwee · 22/02/2023 18:27

Sorry, but you were the one being unreasonable there - it was a present, so not yours to eat at all unless he offers you one

FictionalCharacter · 22/02/2023 18:27

Yabu. I wouldn’t open something that was given to my dh and he wouldn’t open something that was given to me.

BellaJuno · 22/02/2023 18:28

We normally share birthday chocolates in my house but neither of us would open them first if they weren’t ours, we’d wait til the recipient did so, then share.

Emmamoo89 · 22/02/2023 18:30

Yabu. I would be pissed off if my partner did that.

JimHensonWasAGenius · 22/02/2023 18:30

Well you were told off like a child because you acted like one.

Even then after a certain age, most children learn the manners to ask before taking.

And taking something that was a gift is especially rude!

You said in your update that you wouldn't have minded but it's not about you is it?

Your thinking and the taking of the chocolates is very selfish.

You need to get him a replacement box and apologise.

Original poster
teomama · 22/02/2023 18:31

I did apologise. I organised his birthday, made a booking, ordered a cake and bought him something he’d wanted for a long time. To be told off over a few candies really seemed petty to me after a good day.

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 22/02/2023 18:32

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:22

We normally help ourselves to whatever is in the kitchen without asking specifically

And? It was his gift. You still could have asked. It would have cost you nothing. It also doesn’t matter what you would have done and how you would have felt because HE is not you and is telling you how HE feels and you’re calling him petty for having his own boundaries.

Your actions were rude. Apologise to him and replace the chocolates.

Changemaname1 · 22/02/2023 18:33

No actually I think you are in the wrong

I ate a box of my sons chocolates the other day and felt guilty enough about that but he got so much choc / sweets etc after his birthday and party they’ll last ages so really I was doing him a favour 😁

but no as an adult who maybe receives a couple of boxes of nice chocolate a year as a gift I’d be pissed off to find they’d been opened without asking

phoenixrosehere · 22/02/2023 18:34

teomama · 22/02/2023 18:31

I did apologise. I organised his birthday, made a booking, ordered a cake and bought him something he’d wanted for a long time. To be told off over a few candies really seemed petty to me after a good day.

Good that you did apologise.

That still doesn’t take away from your actions. It still wasn’t your gift and you could have asked.

Cherrysoup · 22/02/2023 18:35

Bloody rude of you, imo. I’d be really cross if my dh opened my present and helped himself. It’s mine, not his. Poor etiquette.

Thisisnotahotel · 22/02/2023 18:35

Sorry but that would piss me off as well.

Hesma · 22/02/2023 18:35

That is sooooo unbelievably rude. You need to replace them and apologise

piedbeauty · 22/02/2023 18:36

Sorry, YABU. They were his! I would not open a gift that had been given to my h ( mand he'd react like your h did).

Badfootkk · 22/02/2023 18:36

Entitled much? You took it upon yourself to open and eat some of his birthday present and then get disgruntled when he had the audacity to speak up.

Ourlittleharmonica · 22/02/2023 18:37

Doesn't matter what you did for his birthday, they weren't yours to open and I'd also be fuming with you.